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Thread: <removed> I need advice..

  1. #21
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
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    That's why you shouldn't use condoms alone. Combine condoms with a hormonal birth control - there are many different kinds out there. Condoms break, slip, get past their expiration date, are applied incorrectly.

  2. #22
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    well...I have to wait til I get off to college to get hormonal birth control, I can't have it while at home, my parents wouldn't allow it. They are uber christian.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member tiredofvampires's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KatyC
    well...I have to wait til I get off to college to get hormonal birth control, I can't have it while at home, my parents wouldn't allow it. They are uber christian.
    I imagine your parents don't know you're having sex. So go to Planned Parenthood, and ask them what your options are and cost. Your parents don't have to know you're on birth control pills.
    Last edited by tiredofvampires; 06-27-2011 at 06:26 AM.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by KatyC
    well...I have to wait til I get off to college to get hormonal birth control, I can't have it while at home, my parents wouldn't allow it. They are uber christian.
    If you live in the states you can go to Planned Parenthood and get it. Your parents cant even make the appt for you - I was 15 when I went on BC (to regulate me) and my father couldn't even set up the appt, I had to.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Saffron_;4874235]Are you a gynaecologist? I would suggest perhaps you ask one.

    *Sigh* TOV, wether or not pre-cum contains sperm is debatable and from what I know, most of the evidence suggests it does not. I told the OP the risk of her getting pregnant from some pre cum in a condom was extremely low and I'm pretty sure if you asked any gynaecologis, they'd agree with me! This is not a case of "russian roulette" as you put it. I feel like you had the other person terrified that her risks of falling pregnant were high and I felt terrible for her when she said she was terrified. To be honest I think you over dramatised the whole thing. Anyhow, I wont add to the drama by commenting further. Given your opinion, I see no point.

    It's actually not that debatable as couples have gotten pregnant using the withdraw methods for years now. And even if for some reason science has lead us wrong, I would much rather have sex under the notion of 'pre cum contains sperm and it doesn't come out right before he does' and protect myself than play the 'it may and it may not' card. I agree the chances are low the OP is pregnant but whenever there is a condomn malfunction I tend to error on the side of caution.

  7. #26
    Gold Member Saffron_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dramallama
    That's why you shouldn't use condoms alone. Combine condoms with a hormonal birth control - there are many different kinds out there. Condoms break, slip, get past their expiration date, are applied incorrectly.
    Or be taught how to use condoms/contraception correctly. My partner and I have been using condoms for almost 10 years now and in all that time I've never had a pregnancy scare. Never had one break or slip etc. However, my partner stores them and uses them in the proper way every time so the chance of failure should remain low. Also, everyone I know who's gotten pregnant whilst using condoms, when pushed on the subject, has admitted to not using one every single time. Same goes for the pill as it happens. However, because people lie, it puts the estimated failure rate much higher than it probably should be.

  8. #27
    Gold Member Saffron_'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by OptomisticGirl
    It's actually not that debatable as couples have gotten pregnant using the withdraw methods for years now.
    What is debatable is how honest people are when talking about how birth control failed them OG. Just because someone says they used the withdrawal method perfectly every time doesn't mean they did. If you've ever met anyone who got pregnant from having sex when the man didn't ejaculate, well I'd like to hear about them because they're a bloomin miracle! More often than not when you hear these 'miracle' stories though, the truth is that the guy did come and just didn't pull out in time but the couple just wont admit that.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member tiredofvampires's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Saffron_
    Or be taught how to use condoms/contraception correctly. My partner and I have been using condoms for almost 10 years now and in all that time I've never had a pregnancy scare. Never had one break or slip etc. However, my partner stores them and uses them in the proper way every time so the chance of failure should remain low. Also, everyone I know who's gotten pregnant whilst using condoms, when pushed on the subject, has admitted to not using one every single time. Same goes for the pill as it happens. However, because people lie, it puts the estimated failure rate much higher than it probably should be.
    This is true.

    Normally, a condom is extremely durable, and if it's put on correctly, it should not end up bunched up inside the vagina, like what happened to the OP. You have to roll the condom ALL the way down to the base of the penis (pinch the tip when putting it on, to leave a bit of room for semen, if the brand has no extra tip for that). But, even condoms that have not expired and have been stored properly can be defective. Fingernails have been known to snag them (and never open a package of condoms with your teeth.) The data shows that if a couple is using the condom ONLY for birth control, "perfect use" (meaning, never making a mistake) will result in a 2% pregnancy rate. "Average use" of condoms (which means sometimes using them incorrectly or not using them) results in an 18% failure rate. What these statistics translate into is that every year 2 women out of 100 using condoms PERFECTLY will get pregnant. And if you're not doing it right every time, 18 women in 100 each year will get pregnant.

    So even if you use the condom absolutely perfectly each time, there is still a failure rate that exceeds hormonal birth control. Of course, everything in life is a risk. But while 2% is very low, if you're that one who gets unlucky, you have "uber Christian" parents, you're 18 and just starting out in life, going to college instead of wanting to become a mother, or being pregnant would be a disaster, that is not a chance worth taking if you don't have to. So if you can take hormonal birth control as an extra insurance to take that risk off the table, it should be done.

    And certainly, any unprotected intercourse should be well off the table. Should it occur, you should assume you could become pregnant from it. If you are at a time in your cycle when everything in nature wants that to happen, even more so.

    The fluid that is pre-cum itself -- as it's manufactured in the Cowper's gland near the prostate -- does not have sperm in it. But no system is perfect, and so sperm can leak out before the ejaculation itself, and also sperm can be left over in the urethra from ejaculating before.

    So, while the amounts of sperm that are in pre-cum are scant, all it takes is one spermatazoa to get pregnant. Behavior should reflect that.

    Here is an article about sperm in pre-cum:

    link removed

  10. #29
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Saffron_
    What is debatable is how honest people are when talking about how birth control failed them OG. Just because someone says they used the withdrawal method perfectly every time doesn't mean they did. If you've ever met anyone who got pregnant from having sex when the man didn't ejaculate, well I'd like to hear about them because they're a bloomin miracle! More often than not when you hear these 'miracle' stories though, the truth is that the guy did come and just didn't pull out in time but the couple just wont admit that.
    The point I was trying to make is the withdraw method doesn't work because pre cum doesn't just come out right before they cum - so whether they lied about when he ejaculated or if they did pull out, the fact remains pre cum contains sperm. Even withdrawing doesn't stop pregnancy. I myself have never came accross a couple that felt the need to lie about how they accidentlly got pregnant, not sure the people you have encountered but for me, if you are already knocked up and you didn't want to be, that's the embarrasment. Most of the time the conversation goes,

    "But I was on birth control!"
    "Were you taking it the same time every night?"
    "yes!"
    "did you have unprotected sex right after you took antibiotics?"
    "Well yes but I was covered by the bc"

    Failed contraceptives don't get people pregnant - idiocy in sex education does.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Saffron_
    Or be taught how to use condoms/contraception correctly. My partner and I have been using condoms for almost 10 years now and in all that time I've never had a pregnancy scare. Never had one break or slip etc. However, my partner stores them and uses them in the proper way every time so the chance of failure should remain low. Also, everyone I know who's gotten pregnant whilst using condoms, when pushed on the subject, has admitted to not using one every single time. Same goes for the pill as it happens. However, because people lie, it puts the estimated failure rate much higher than it probably should be.
    Ok, that's fine for you. But many people have accidents or the condom breaks or slips so that's why it's better to have a back up. I'm not sure why you're so against people practice extra safe sex.

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