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Thread: Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?

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    Why Don’t Women Ask Men Out ?

    Ever wonder why sometimes woman will flirt with you and then all of a sudden become cold or weird around you ?
    Is it because they wanted the man to ask them out (or make a move) and he didn’t, so they’re acting cold around him to compensate for the perceived rejection ? Do women actually FEEL rejected when man don’t ask them out or “make the move” ????? ……and do they realize how "destroyed" a man may feel when rejected for his effort (when he was so sure that she wanted to see him again)

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    Gold Member PrincessBOT's Avatar
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    Yes, it is because when all the flirting is done, it is the man that should ask the woman out. In most, not all, but most case the psychology of men toward a woman that ask him out will be he will go, but will quickly lose interests. Why? Simply because he was not interested enough in the first place to ask her out. He will give it a try and then ask out the woman he is really interested in enough to ask out. Who is usually someone he thought that maybe she was someone he could not get....It is tried, tested and backed by history, the man picks the woman. Any woman that does not let it play out this way has put herself in a high probability of being unsure of the man's interest and therefore not being herself to be cautious of doing something that will make him lose interest. A woman is more free when she know she has your interest no matter what and a guy is more attentive and interested when he works for her, work includes asking the woman out. Our job is to flirt and show interest your job is to close the deal..

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    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    To be honest, I think more women would ask men out if women did not get burned with guys who weren't interested. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm saying that for my women friends who were clearly pursued by their husbands, the relationship is much happier. When it's the opposite, there have been more problems.

    So I should be clear. I think both men and women can ask each other out for an initial hang out. But most women want men to initiate the pursuit of a relationship and they believe asking the other person out on the first date is part of that pursuit.

    For the guy that I am interested in dating, I actually asked him to hang out first. Now that I have gotten to know him for a while, I can say that he has needed MONTHS to figure out his feelings for me. I needed about 30 seconds after meeting him. So, when I stepped back and let him make his decisions about how he feels, it goes SO much better. When he asked me out, we went on the best date of my life. And in general when I let the guy initiate dates/hang outs are so much better because he is much more engaged. That's my personal experience.

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    Platinum Member NightLily's Avatar
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    There are some cases where I would ask a guy out. If I had reason to believe we had a lot in common and he needed to get to know me better I would. If I was really interested in somebody I probably would as well. Just casually though, I agree to some extent with PrincessBOT, but mostly I just have enough dates or boyfriends that I don't think to ask them out.

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    Gold Member PrincessBOT's Avatar
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    As far as rejection when it comes to this, men's testosterone and psychology due to nature and the way they are bought up are better equipped to deal with this type of rejection and be less affected. Little girls are more sheltered from these types of rejection and don't deal with them as well, it brings into question her whole self image and worth after a few, whereas a man knows it's a numbers game, keep on moving....maybe not all, but most men I would think realize this. If not toughen up....no who would tell a women to toughen up...

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    Gold Member PrincessBOT's Avatar
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    Thus the reason I said "A woman is more free when she know she has your interest no matter what and a guy is more attentive and interested when he works for her, work includes asking the woman out. Our job is to flirt and show interest your job is to close the deal.."

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    Originally Posted by benderman
    ……and do they realize how "destroyed" a man may feel when rejected for his effort (when he was so sure that she wanted to see him again)
    If anyone, male or female, is that destroyed by a rejection of someone he/she is not even in a relationship with, then I would say there is a bigger problem at hand.

    It doesn't matter why other people do or don't do something- what matters is what *you* do and what steps you take to get the things you want out of life.

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    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PrincessBOT
    Thus the reason I said "A woman is more free when she know she has your interest no matter what and a guy is more attentive and interested when he works for her, work includes asking the woman out. Our job is to flirt and show interest your job is to close the deal.."
    Women who have this attitude tend to have a princess complex. Your avatar is thus not all that surprising to me.

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    Platinum Member greywolf's Avatar
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    I don't really ask people out because I've never been all that interested in relationships.

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    Platinum Member ForumGuy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by benderman
    Ever wonder why sometimes woman will flirt with you and then all of a sudden become cold or weird around you ?
    Sometimes it is because they flirted and then realized they simply didn't see potential.

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