This is my first time posting on here. Forgive me if this is a little long, but I really need advice and want to give as much context as I think is needed.
I've been with my girlfriend for three years. The first two years we lived in the same city, and lived together for the second of those years. Last summer, I made plans to go to grad school in another part of the country. We had talked about it through the spring and she had told me she was going to come with me. (Had I known she wouldn't, I would not have gone.) However, that commitment started to fade quickly. She started to waver over the summer, and things got a little testy. She started having fits and began coming up with reasons why she "couldn't" move. It became clear to me that she was not prepared to move with me, but I had already committed to my program and couldn't back out. We decided we would do it long distance. Though I had my doubts, we actually managed to make it work with only the occasional flare up.
This spring, we talked things over, and I decided I was going to transfer to a school somewhere closer to her. She has a job that she can do from anywhere, but there are only a few cities she is willing to live in. We talked about options that would work for both of us, and I recently submitted applications to one school in her city, and some in the other places she was willing to go. I made sure this time to get a promise form her that she was comfortable with these options. I haven't heard back from any school yet, but already I'm starting to get the same vibes from her as last time, and it's scaring me. She's starting to freak out about things that I just don't think are big deals at all, including (and I'm not joking) that she would have to find a new dentist. She says she can't handle the stress from thinking about a move four hours up the interstate. She still insists she's willing to go to one of the places we discussed, but I'm hardly feeling certain about things.
I love her to death, and we're great together 99% of the time, but I'm beyond frustrated at this point. I've bent over backwards to accommodate her. I'm willing to upend my education and move accross the country for her, spending more money in the process and living far away from my family. I agreed to only apply to schools in three cities she said she was willing to go, yet she can't even seem to handle the prospect of moving a train stop away, despite telling me unambiguously that she would. It's seeming like she's not willing to make any change in her life for the sake of our relationship, no matter how much I try to meet her on her end. I though we were a serious couple, and we've talked about marriage and kids, but this whole thing is making me lose confidence that she's willing to commit. I don't want to break up, but I don't know what to do. Help!