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Thread: He is ignoring me ?! Is it over or does he need space ?

  1. #11
    Silver Member Melting's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by banal
    One thing is though, in the OP's defense, she began to get aggressive because he was ignoring her at the expense of flirting with other women. I think that the problem isn't the OP's neediness; it's that the dude just doesn't want to be in a steady relationship. But I'm not there, so I don't really know.
    I agree, people only become needy when they feel unwanted.

  2. #12
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    You are totally stalking this guy. Stop it.

    I think it's funny (not in a ha ha way) that you kept contacting him for over a week, he has ignored you every time, yet you still think he needs more time and space? It's pretty obviously over, and I think before he hits you with a restraining order for the stalking, I'd do your best to let this go and move on.

    Why were you egging him on to dump you to begin with?

  3. #13
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    First of all I was not stalking him. He told me he was the type of guy that was upfront about things, hes not scared to say whats on his mind or how he feels. So i was confused and worried and i thought something happened to him until my sister saw him driving off and coming back. I knocked on the door, he didnt answer I left, its not like I waited outside his door haha. He lives in the same apt building as my sister and before he always told just come up, he even use to make fun of me for calling him before I came up! So I dont care what he thinks! i JUST think its messed up how he said to me lets meet thursday and just ignored me. I was there for him a lot and helped him a lot i just think at the end i deserved some form of communication from him. I am a very caring person and obviously i called him because I was worried about him whether he was my friend or boyfriend.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member faithful14's Avatar
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    I think you should just move on and ignore him when he contacts you. I mean, I understand the texting and calling were a bit excessive, but how hard is it to call someone or even text them to say that you don't want to be in a relationship.

    Sometimes, a person's silence is all you need to know.

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  6. #15
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    yup... thanks everyone

  7. #16
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    I don't disagree that what he did was rude and childish, however, judging by the stalking (and yes, calling and texting multiple times a day is stalking), I think he probably felt this was the only way to get out. I get the feeling that he tried breaking up with you in person, you weren't going to have that and pushed him into committing to meet/talk again, when you knew he had no interest in doing so. Still, the fact that even after him ignoring you for over a week you still think he needs space just shows that perhaps you're not willing to admit the reality here.

    For your own sanity - move on.

  8. #17
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    I think he should still have the decency to tell her if it's over or not... I know that she was being somewhat pushy with him, but for him to give her the silent treatment for so long is just very cruel I think you should just try to move on and give him some time and space to miss you.

  9. #18
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    Awkwarddddddd

    update **************
    i was leaving my sis apt as i was locking the door, i heard someone coming down i wasnt thinking at all it would be him, my mind was some where else, i ignored it but then the noise got louder so i turned around like if i was wanted to see who was coming from behind and as i turned around YIKES .. it was HIM !!! I saw him staring at me while walking down and he was staring like nothing happned ahhh so we had like a 3 second stare at each other because i think we were both shocked and it was awkward so i just quickly looked away facing back to the door and acted like I didnt know him at all, while my back was facing him he just passes by with out saying a word. I waited for him to back out of the parking lot and then i start walking down the last few steps to my car
    Im glad I didnt say anything and Im glad I acted like as if I didnt know him. IT was really weird and i think it ruined my whole NC that i was doing, I didnt want him to see me. I was doing so good and staying so strong i just feel like seeing him created an emotional setback.
    THE FACT THAT HE DIDNT SAY ANY THING TO ME WAS SO HURTFUL, WHAT A COWARD!! Later on, at night I see hes on FB chat an he hadnt been online on fb chat ever since 2 weeks ago when he decided to ignore me and disappear leaving me confused. I bet you he though i was going to msg him like crazy, glad i didnt !! However he could have messaged me saying sorry for all of this or some thing but all he does it act like i never existed. Im glad I didnt say hi to him, and Im glad i didnt contact him or message him. I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS?? Its like he enjoys ignoring me and getting a rise out of me, but im glad i kept it cool. So im guessing if he couldnt even say hi to me and act like i never existed,then there is no way he is going to pick up the phone to call or text me to apologize for his rude disrespectful behavior
    Why cant he come out clean and just explain himself, why is he making everything so awkward?? I just cant believe how a person that was so close to you can change in a second, acting like i never existed?!?!?!
    Last edited by jessica1987; 06-21-2011 at 06:27 AM.

  10. #19
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    It seems to me that

    [B]A He's acting like an immature child, and wants you to get even more frantic and needy over him...

    AND

    [B]B He's brushing you off to make excuses as to why he can't see you right now, because he's already found someone else and wants to go on dates and take this someone out on a test run first. And if he doesn't like this girl, he still has you. It's a win win situation for him, because either way, he still gets a girl. If you don't think option "B" happens you're wrong. One of my male coworkers told me and a group of other coworkers a little scheme he put together so that he could cheat on two girls. He'd tell the girlfriend he had been going steady with for a long time that he needed some separation time from her. And then when she was okay with it, he'd go have an affair with another woman.

    It's hard to juggle two relationships at once, and for him to not even acknowledge you at the door, and his car was parked outside means that he had someone over that he didn't want you to see. Either that, or he was playing into his "I want time to myself" game, and not even want to give you the time of day. And quite frankly, anyone like that doesn't deserve my time of day either. Because that kind of behavior is just down right immature.

    Trust your gut. If it feels wrong, chances are it IS wrong. Don't let a man or anyone else treat you disrespectfully with mind games.

    If it's hurting your feelings, tell him in a brief text that this separation game you both are playing is beginning to take it's toll, and that you'd rather end the relationship than keep waiting for a shadow to arrive. Having "me time" shouldn't take a whole month to think things over! If he needed a whole month, I would've been steppin' as soon as he stopped all communication with you on the second week. It should take a good couple of weeks to clear your mind and think about what you want in life and in a relationship. Cutting ALL forms of communication while on your break without a brief hello text is a red flag.

  11. #20
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    I don't know ... think back carefully. Did he break up with you? Did he say he wasn't ready for a commitment? Is smothered? Needs space?

    I suspect he broke up with you but you didn't accept it. My next step would be total ignore, which he did. I may be wrong, but I just saw a total lack of willingness to accept the end on your part. Imagine if you broke up with someone who then blew up your phone and came by your house? It is frightening to some (me, for instance).

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