do guys really find quiet females attractive?

I'm a fairly quiet person, and I've noticed that when guys find ways to sit next to me or come over and try to join a conversation when I'm with a group. And it's usually the same people who tend to stay close. I've had a few "eye contact" with others too, who are more hesitant to talk to me, but still find a way. I'm a fairly quiet person. I socialized with females mostly, and "nerds." I usually avoid talking to guys who get lots of attention from females. I usually sit alone, or sit with a few good friends. Most people tend to socialize though.

I hear that some guys find quiet females mysterious, but at the same time, I'd think that guys would find it a turn off, because I'm sorta anti-social. I am fairly quiet and professional when I'm at work, but I do socialize with a few people. I'm not stuck up, I'm just very shy. However, I rarely smile. lol I'm super friendly though, and I light up when I talk to my friends. I'm not mean or rude, I just avoid people. I've started opening up to the people I work with, but I still try to keep to myself. More guys have started coming up to me slowly though, and ask about the book I'm reading, or what's going on in my life in general.

Anyway, my post is all over the place, but my question is what do you think about quiet people. Is it a turn off, because they're anti-social? or do you think it's a bit mysterious and attracting?

at the beginning i think for a guy it all depends on what the girl looks like. if she's nice looking, don't matter whether she's shy or social, they are gonna make an effort to get to know you.

I do find quiet girls mysterious. With them, it isnt so much about looks, but what is going on 'up there'. I would think from what you have said, you are also introverted like me. You keep to your own thoughts except when you find a subject or a person interesting. If you were shy, you would rarely talk to new people.

Dont worry too much.

Initially, it can be harder for most guys to even approach you. Eye contact and a smile= a green light to initiate conversation. Also, if you rarely smile that probably attracts fewer guys than if you smiled more often. No eye contact & not smiling would probably make you more invisible in a situation where there are a lot of other females sending "come talk to me!" body language.

If a guy did end up in a conversation with you, it really depends on how the conversation goes. If you seem friendly at that point, say a few interesting things & open it up to him to talk a bit, most guys will find that attractive. If you are too shy to say two sentences in a row, there's not much for him to go on.

I guess it depends on the guy, but I personally think that appearing a little more friendly and outgoing will attract more guys than a wallflower who won't look at you. Just sayin.

that's what I figured. I thought guys wouldn't find being quiet or shy unattractive. But, lately, I've had 3 guys ask for my phone number, and another guy asked to hang out. I tell them I usually sleep when I get home or I live too far from our job to drive back home etc. But, some are persistent. I am very friendly, and I don't approach guys and prefer to hang out with females. Some females are more outgoing, and they do get guys attention. But, less and less guys have been giving them attention. I think it's because they're not as outgoing. I will talk to everyone, even the people who are more nerdy or what some would consider less attractive. I think it's because I can relate to them more. I don't think I'm super hot, but I have decent looking.

I am not looking to date right now, because I'm focused on school. I got out of a relationship a year ago, and it wasn't a good break up. So, I'm focusing on my goals right now. I just think it's weird, because the more I try to avoid or not care for any guy, the more guys try to talk to me. A few guys asked for my phone number, so I don't get it. I think they would leave me alone and hang out with the more outgoing females. I don't ignore them in a rude way. If they do come up to me to talk, I listen and try to conversate with them, but I don't float around to different people.

Everytime I walk into a room with a bunch of people, I pick a seat away from everyone and read a book or text. And guys would approach me still. Even though I appear like a loner. I think most guys would prefer outgoing females, so I had to ask.

You sound like my dear ex allsunny.

She was the pretty quiet girl also. It was a feature in her that I admired* a lot.

All guys are different, with different preferences. But I can honestly say, qiuet gals are cute.

TS

*she may have probably changed a bit now, No clue.

Yes, I certainly do.

I am a quiet and introverted person myself (unfortunately though that has proven a disadvantage for me, as I am male)

I do get hit on a lot sometimes or get the "stare" from women when I go places or whether I'm at work. It's not something I can change, if I'm found attractive or not. But it's what I do about it that matters. And I don't abuse the fact that I'm attractive to take advantage of the situation or take advantage of people. I still would prefer to be a settled-down family man and one woman kind of person.

Quiet women are attractive to me as are women that are a little more socially outgoing than the quiet ones. I don't like a loud mouth and I don't like having to climb Roman tower-like walls of a personality either trying to get to know someone. Women like that I try to avoid.

I'm normally a very quiet and introverted person, but my quietness is not so much due to shyness. When I have something to say, I will speak up, but usually I just don't have anything to say. Also I don't like interrupting people who are already in a conversation.

It really all just depends on the kind of guy you end up interacting with. I, personally, probably wouldn't be initially attracted to a "quiet introverted" kind of girl; not that there's anything wrong with girls that are like that, but I'm a quiet, introverted person, myself, and I tend to leave people alone and assume they don't want to interact with me, so if I come accross an introverted girl, my initial thought would be that she's uninterested. But, I think there are a lot more extroverted guys out there, that are willing to take a risk and initiate conversation, so I can't imagine you'll have too many problems getting a guy to talk to you.

I guess depends on the shyness? There are shy people that seems so on a social level but I find it's rare to meet someone who are shy in every aspect of their lives. Everyone has their wild side if not such shell hasn't been broken.

I tend to be attracted to girls who are quiet. It's sort of mindset that "She's quiet so she's more likely to give a quiet guy like me a chance" or that there's a chance we'll have some similar interests. If they just look unapproachable though, then I'd be less willing to go out of my way to talk to her. It's an added plus if they wear glasses because the bookworm look can be cute

I find quiet, pretty females extremely attractive!!!! However, I don't talk to them because I have nothing to say to them and they have nothing to say to me. I'm not the type of man who enjoys talking endlessly about myself, and what else is there? So I avoid them if possible. Sorry. They are so attractive though. It's hard.

Well, there are a lot of facets to this question. But since this is a shy forum, I'll answer it from that perspective. Obviously shy or introverted people all fit somewhere on a scale. Some people are only slightly introverted, while others are really, really shy to the point of being unable to approach a women.

On the other side of the scale, extroverts feel free to approach any woman in the room - even their fellow extroverts. But as you move down that scale towards shyness, when you appear quiet and not the "life of the party" type, more guys will see you as being more safe. They perceive a lowered risk of rejection when approaching you. Why? Well, the life of the party girl appears to know everyone, and she has a great time with everyone. Surely, she has more options available to her. To a shy person, or even someone slightly on the extroverted scale, that gives the perception that your risk of rejection increases when you approach someone like that. Why would someone with so many options choose you? This is a real phenomenon. Search around ENA, and you'll find stories of women who claim to have model looks, complaining they're never approached by men.

So that's my guess as to why you have so many guys approaching. Being a quiet woman increases your odds of being approached, because guys perceive they will have less risk of rejection if/when they do approach you. Your demeanor allays their fears and insecurities.

no they don't find it attractive. look at how they react in the bars & other social situations, you don't seem them making a beeline for the 'quiet shy types.' It sounds nice to say they like that, but they really don't.

no they don't find it attractive. look at how they react in the bars & other social situations, you don't seem them making a beeline for the 'quiet shy types.' It sounds nice to say they like that, but they really don't.

well, the bar type females are a different story. they look for women are they think are easy!

Yeah, guys definitely find it attractive. I've always been shy and had been mostly ignored by guys in high school and college, but when I started my current job I started getting hit on a LOT. I think the difference was just smiling more and being friendly even though I wasn't very talkative. I've been told by guys that they were drawn to the "mystery" and feeling like they needed to get to know me or figure me out.

I kind of think people are like water colors... at least the good ones : )

there's no doubt that 'attraction' is usually where everything begins, but the crucial thing is *why* the attraction commences...

a guy who is more strongly attracted to quietness (or just about any non-physical attribute) before beauty is a rare bird.. the thing a girl (or guy) has to watch out for are people who only accept the non-physical when the physical outweighs it...

a good mix (as in watercolors), is when folks don't look for perfection, but for involvement.. or.. that they find the perfection within the involvement...

a quiet girl (or guy) as often as not may not actually be 'quiet'..

it is often the case that what they say is so meaningfull (even if it is simple) that a few words can mean as much as the strongest discourse...

i think this is because 'quiet' people are often among the most honest.. and also the most considerate.. if anything *those* is the attributes that are probably most attractive... people initially, in general, perceive and best understand others whom are like them. In fact, it is generally the case that we assume others are enough like ourselves that they can understand us from the outset, *******at least momentarily***** on some basic level... That is, for instance, honest people assume others to be honest, at least when they first communicate... gentle people assume the same.. macho guys, also & the same with vain women..

this is even true of the criminal & the deceitfull, until they see that the assumptive attributes of others can be used as a means for self-serving ends..

which is why the honest & the gentle & so very often the quiet

need to be so carefull...

it does not mean that the active & sociable & the friendly & the outgoing are somehow so different from the quiet & introverted that there is some intrinsic flaw implied in either personality type, but it does mean that trust & honesty & the integrity (which only means the ability to sacrifice for that trust & honesty, that *they* remain, rather than personal satisfaction taken at the expense of it) must be the essential motive for *any* social interaction, in order to for the 'attraction' to mean anything more than an attempt at *personal* gratification, rather than true & honest friendship...

as an example, consider this:

two people, equal in kindness & honesty & depth of friendship, play with a puppy...

one is gregarious, rough & tumble, and a bit of a tease with the trow toy...

the other is more gentle, pets calmly, does a bit of quiet tugging & doesn't fake the dog out so much in the game of catch ; )

who, really, is doing anything different?

& that what it comes down to...

guys are a lot like dogs...

uhmm.. no.. sorry.. well.. that may be true but.. uhm...

it just comes down to being wise enough to know that a guy likes **you**..

that he likes *You*

because of the way you are...

the way you *are*...

essential personality traits should not be looked at as 'icing on the cake' or something someone can deal with, so long as it doesn't get in the way of physical attraction...

if a guy is attracted to you *make sure* that you enjoy the communication, or the *presence*, rather than the attention, because attention is easy...

lies are easy...

be honest, even if you don't say much,

& be hard, until you know that they understand the very things which are *why* you are quiet...

& then,

you may find,

that you will talk the night away...

; )

i used a whole lot more words & never even touched on any of these issues... thanks!

great post