DNA test

My boyfriend had a DNA test done without telling me and says that the results have come in that our beautiful baby boy is not his. I honestly and truthfully do not know how that is possible- how accurate are these things? I'm devastated and don't know what to do!

I would ask him for a copy of the test. The only thing I can think of is that either he made a mistake when collecting the samples (what did he give them as a sample of the baby?), or that the lab mixed up the samples. But these tests (if done in a proper lab) are quite accurate.

Have you actually seen the test? It sounds like he might be looking for a way out of the relationship.

DNA test can come out wrong. Tell him he want a second test done that you BOTH got to and see the results of.

Well, if you're sure you don't know how that is possible then chances are he is testing you...or he's made a mistake. If you're sure the baby is his then you shouldn't have to worry about a thing.

I'd get the test done again. Look for a reputable company in your area, or ask a lawyer if they know one. If there's no chance the baby could possibly be anyone else's, it has to be a mistake. I wonder what motivated your boyfriend to get this tested in the first place.

If you really are certain the baby must be his (and of course you yourself would know) then do another test yourself. Definitely ask for a copy of his test, and ask him what he did to get a sample from the baby.

The tests are accurate, but mistakes can be made in sampling and it's not impossible that some kind of mix-up could happen.

What's maybe more relevant for yourself to consider is why is he questioning paternity and is he in fact rejecting your child?

He said he is waiting for the hard copy of the results to come through- this is over the phone so far. He took a sample from bubs without me knowing, when my back was turned at some point! I'm so hurt and confused... I don't understand why he wouldn't tell me he was doing this, or how it has happened!

I've got a 4 week old baby to look after and I'm a mess!

Is there a chance the baby is not his?

I agree with the others that you should get the test done again - perhaps take your child together to a hospital so that you can both feel that you trust the results.

I just did a quick google search and found these testing labs: link removed link removed link removed

Demand another test be done, not matter what this one says. These things can and do come out wrong sometimes.

I think he is looking for a way out financially, emotionally etc. He is not up to the responsibility so he is making excuses (even if they are lies). Based on what you've told us, I don't even trust that he did a test. Perhaps what you should do is do another test (without telling him) and with the results visit a lawyer so you can get a child support order for the next 18 years.

I think he is looking for a way out financially, emotionally etc. He is not up to the responsibility so he is making excuses (even if they are lies). Based on what you've told us, I don't even trust that he did a test. Perhaps what you should do is do another test (without telling him) and with the results visit a lawyer so you can get a child support order for the next 18 years.

I totally agree with this. He is BS ing you. He wants to get out of child support pure and simple. If that is the case he is total scum bag.

He must have thought I could be lying all this time and never said anything...why do it behind my back? These people could be anyone!

Part of me says if he wants out so bad then let him go. I know the truth at the end of the day! It's not like he's the love of my life, he's borderline alcoholic and quite possibly one of the most useless people I have ever met!

He's been really nicey nicey about it so far, saying he doesn't want to argue and he believes I could have made a genuine mistake... !!

To give you peace of mind you should really have the test be redone. If you can't trust this person how do you know that he didn't send in the sample of one of his friends instead of the baby's? Of course those would come up as unrelated.

Bella he wants out and he wants out so bad he will lie, DEMAND to see the test and tell him you will have it verified with one of your own and you are getting a lawyer and if he thinks he is not paying support he one sad sorry man. I know you just want him to go but your son DESERVES this money and NEEDS this money and Mr. Useless DESERVES to pay. This is not about how bad you want him to go but about what your son deserves.

Protect yourself legally. It sounds like you are ready to kick him to the curb (good idea based on what you said about him!) but you must think for your child. Get the test done so you can get child support.

I don't want a test proving in black and White that he IS my baby's father, which gives him free rein to walk in and out of his life as he pleases! Right now I want to protect my son from him and keep him away!! I don't want his way of life poisoning my little boys mind....if I just let him go I can keep him away for the next 16 years and by then I will know that our son is nothing like him!

While I don't know anything about this situation, there are plenty of women out there that say the baby belongs to the person they're with just so they stay with them, so in that regard..I don't blame him for doing a DNA test. The way he did it is kind of sketchy, so I would advise you do your own dna test to see if he's full of it or not.

Also, you haven't stated if you slept around during that time, so I am not counting out that possibility.

My boyfriend had a DNA test done without telling me and says that the results have come in that our beautiful baby boy is not his. I honestly and truthfully do not know how that is possible- how accurate are these things? I'm devastated and don't know what to do!

I would have expected you to say it is impossible if this is the case. Did you have sex with anyone else around the time your son was conceived? You should know the answer without having to think about it.

He can anyway as his father Bella and one day he just might walk back into his life. Every child deserves to know who their parents are. Kids get very messed up not knowing who their parents are. There will come a day too when you will need this money and you will realize you shot yourself in the foot not asking for child support your child deserves. Fathers have rights to the child whether they pay or not, and as long as his name is on the birth certificate, the court may give him rights.

Bella he wants out and he wants out so bad he will lie, DEMAND to see the test and tell him you will have it verified with one of your own and you are getting a lawyer and if he thinks he is not paying support he one sad sorry man. I know you just want him to go but your son DESERVES this money and NEEDS this money and Mr. Useless DESERVES to pay. This is not about how bad you want him to go but about what your son deserves.

I would not engage in this kind of conversation with him right now. You have to be really smart and diplomatic about this, for your baby's sake. You do not want to jeopardize your baby's interests via some rash emotional decision that may result in undesired consequences. If Lavenderdove doesn't come accross this thread I would try to PM her to get her opinion on this. She usually gives great advice for topics of similar nature.

No, I didn't... if this baby isn't his then it's the immaculate conception... or I was 8 weeks overdue and gave birth to a totally healthy 7lb 7oz baby!! Both highly unlikely.

The thing is we were never really together and he's never been a very good boyfriend, so I would have had nothing to gain by lying!!

If he would have asked you for the DNA test(instead of going behind your back) would you have complied? Obviously for some reason or another he doesn't believe the baby is his--whether it's him trying to find a way out or him just not believing that the baby is his--no one knows. But if he is as useless as you say he is, then maybe it's a GOOD thing that he is not the baby's father. If he really is--then I suggest to protect yourself that you do another DNA test--that way if he truly does want out, you'll still be entitled to child support. I'm sorry your going through this Bella. I know you just had the baby recently and I can't imagine the amount of stress this is putting you under.

I don't understand why he would lie about this--why not just be upfront with you and tell you he doesn't want to be a father anymore. It seems stupid on his part to say he isn't the father based on phony dna results.

I don't know--I would confront him and tell him that there is no way he is NOT the father and that you want to test together at the hospital. Depending on his reaction--will tell you whether or not he lied or not.

Has he been helpful so far with the baby?

I agree with Victoria - he is trying to find a way out of being a father Bella. Your baby boy was concieved at the very start of your relationship with this man and while you gave it a honest go for the baby, this man has shown his true colors time and again - I'm not really surprised he did this to be honest.

If you are okay with him not being in the baby's life I would get my own DNA test done, prove to him he is the father, and then ask him if he wants out of this he needs to sign his parental rights over.

Make that 10 weeks overdue cos I went 2 weeks overdue anyway!!

Lavenderdove told me to be more careful in the first place and I actually argued with her that I knew what I was doing and it would all be okay!

His name isn't on the birth certificate yet... we were due to have baby registered this Friday.if I let him prove he is the father he will go for access/ joint custody... I don't want that! I have to watch him like a hawk to check he hasn't has too much to drink when he's around bubs... If I wasn't there I'd be terrified!!

Please ask Lavenderdove again for advice! She is very kind and she usually thinks of the situation in many aspects that you may not have considered yourself.

The least thing I would be worried about at this point is his 'bad influence' on the baby. He seems too focused on himself, too obstructed by his addictions, lifestyle etc to have any influence on anyone.