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Thread: He suddenly stopped answering my texts or calls.. I'm confused?

  1. #1
    Ms.Lady
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    He suddenly stopped answering my texts or calls.. I'm confused?

    For about 2 months I was talking to this guy who approached me at a park and we really hit it off well. He was the first guy who I actually took a liking to in a long time.He was so handsome and charming, and even though we didn't talk very long, I really felt like we were so compatible for one another. We never really made things official and we went on a total of 3 dates and the rest were just phone calls and getting to know each other. Things seemed fine, he always seemed genuinely interested in talking with me and getting to know me. He never seemed bored or not into me, when I called he always answered and he always took the time to call me daily to see how I'm doing.When we went out on dates, he never bailed out and we always seemed to have a good time together.

    For about a week now he's gone M.I.A and I just don't know what to think of it.I tried calling and texting but I've got nothing from him. He's even deactivated his facebook account and I can't help but feel he's lost interest and he's started avoiding me. I don't know what happened but I really hate this feeling of uncertainty and now I'm left with questions. I'm actually hurt because I took a liking to this guy a lot in such a short period of time. I really thought things were going to progress further with us. I feel majorly lost and confused about this whole thing. I feel like I have to move on but I don't because it's rare that I ever find a guy I click with. I don't know what I should do? Should I just move on?

  2. #2
    WildChild
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    Is it possible he's married? Reason being, is deactivating his FB and completely disappearing all at the same time.

  3. #3
    Janeiac
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    It's the old "fade." It sucks, but some guys just disappear instead of telling you they don't want to see you. Maybe he'd been dating someone else, and it got serious. Maybe he's married or already had a girlfriend, and he got caught, or is afraid to get caught, or decided to back off from cheating. Maybe he's crazy and had a psychotic break. Maybe he doesn't like you. You'll never know, it doesn't matter anyway, and you shouldn't sweat it. It's rude and disrespectful, and you don't need or want a guy like that. I know how you feel. I used to go crazy trying to INSIST a man face me and tell me he didn't want to see me, for whatever reason. It never works. All that happens is you drive yourself nuts and make yourself look like a freak. Drop it while you don't have much invested.
    If it turns out he's got some legitmate reason, he'll get back in touch, but don't expect it. I'm so much better now that I've learned to shrug these things off and move on. Don't get hung up on a jerk, you may miss out on a good one. Chin up!

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    chitown9
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    I think that wildchild hit the nail on the head. I think that he is either married or has reunited with a former girlfriend. Whatever it is, he does not want you to find him. Do you know for sure where he lives? Works? If he does not want you to find him, why would you want to find him?

  5. #5
    Ms.Lady
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildChild [Register to see the link]
    Is it possible he's married? Reason being, is deactivating his FB and completely disappearing all at the same time.
    I don't know he said he was single but then again anyone can lie. He did mention to me that he had a 3 year old daughter who I've never seen before and he claimed that he and his baby's mother are not together... So I don't know... I hate when guys fade out like this.. It literally drives me crazy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Janeiac
    ;4811961
    It's the old "fade." It sucks, but some guys just disappear instead of telling you they don't want to see you. Maybe he'd been dating someone else, and it got serious. Maybe he's married or already had a girlfriend, and he got caught, or is afraid to get caught, or decided to back off from cheating. Maybe he's crazy and had a psychotic break. Maybe he doesn't like you. You'll never know, it doesn't matter anyway, and you shouldn't sweat it. It's rude and disrespectful, and you don't need or want a guy like that. I know how you feel. I used to go crazy trying to INSIST a man face me and tell me he didn't want to see me, for whatever reason. It never works. All that happens is you drive yourself nuts and make yourself look like a freak. Drop it while you don't have much invested.
    If it turns out he's got some legitmate reason, he'll get back in touch, but don't expect it. I'm so much better now that I've learned to shrug these things off and move on. Don't get hung up on a jerk, you may miss out on a good one. Chin up!
    I'm really trying not to worry about it but I feel some sort of way about this. I really enjoyed his company and I haven't really clicked with anyone like him in a long time. Now it's back to these lonely feelings and I hate the feeling of being rejected and kicked to the curb. I know I probably need to move on but I feel like I at least deserve an answer about what happened because it's literally got me confused and wondering what's going on in his end or mind for that matter.

  6. #6
    WildChild
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    I'm leaning that something is going on behind the scenes, something he kept from you. I think if you start looking back, and piecing things together from the time you met until now, you're going to probably see some things that are missing from the puzzle, or may now seem 'strange' whereas at the time you didn't realize it because you were caught up in meeting him and the excitement of it all.

  7. #7
    Janeiac
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    You definitely deserve an answer. That doesn't mean you'll get one. It's fine and dandy you clicked with him. That doesn't mean he felt the same. Sometimes people don't get what they deserve, and bad things happen. Please, for your own sake, protect yourself and your dignity and do your best to drop it. You'll never learn what's going on in his mind, but you may destroy your own peace of mind. Don't!

  8. #8
    Ms.Lady
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janeiac [Register to see the link]
    You definitely deserve an answer. That doesn't mean you'll get one. It's fine and dandy you clicked with him. That doesn't mean he felt the same. Sometimes people don't get what they deserve, and bad things happen. Please, for your own sake, protect yourself and your dignity and do your best to drop it. You'll never learn what's going on in his mind, but you may destroy your own peace of mind. Don't!
    You're right I'm moving on. I was sad at first but now thinking about it, it just makes me angry. I'm so tired of men always playing these type of games with me. I think after this, I'm going to focus on being single for a long time and even if a guy is interested, he's really going to have to show himself to me. I'm honestly beginning to distrust men because every guy I've met was a loser, even my father. I just find it hard to believe there's decent men out there.

  9. #9
    catfeeder
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    One of the first things to find out about a man you want to date is how long he's been single. If he's separated or mid-divorce or fresh out of a breakup or 'over' someone who he keeps going back to, then he's not dating material--and his chances of flaking like this are wAy high.

    Chin upward, this is likely less about you than you think. Screen carefully.

  10. #10
    lavenderdove
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    Three dates isn't much... it either means he's decided he doesn't want to take it further (and is too cowardly to tell you that so just disappears), or he wasn't really single and hence looking for a short fling before you got serious or you found out that he wasn't single, and just disappears when he thinks it might get dicey and you or his partner find out about each other.

    In future, i'd insist on more than 3 dates in 2 months... that will weed out a lot of 'taken' guys misrepresenting themselves as single or guys who are players and juggling multiple women at once.

    Anyone, even a married guy, can find time for three times to sneak out with you in 2 months, but more than that might tip off his wife/GF. If he's truly available, he's see you at least once a week on a weekend night or for most of the day/night on the weekend, and probably more than that if he is actively interested and available for dating.

    Taken guys will try to schedule hookups during the week when they tell their wives/GFs they are working late, or wait for various times when their partner is busy doing something else and won't be suspicious if they are gone for a while (i.e., choose a day their wife goes to see her parents, or to the spa with her GFs etc.).

    So raise the bar and expect more from the guy than phone calls and 3 dates in 2 months. He should actively try to date you every single week, and see you more than this guy did.

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