Jump to content

i feel so horrible & guilty:( please help


2boysmommy

Recommended Posts

last night i called the cops on my boyfriend of 6 yrs we have to kids together and have been living together for 4 yrs. hes a wonderful father & provides for me and my kids. but when he has too much to drink he just cant control it, he pushed me along time ago and i just brushed it off, he had been trying to stop drinking but his cousin bought him alcohol, he doesnt know how to say no. last night we got into a stupid argument which escaladed & he hit me, grabbed my by my arm swung me, i think he had his hand on my neck, it was just crazy, when i finally got out i was in shock and couldnt stop shaking , my instinct right away was to call the cops, he took off before they got here, they took pictures of my scratches & bruises & now i just dont know what to do!!... im so lost, the cops came 3 times today asking if he came , they came n the house searching, my kids are seeing all this; & i just regret everything!.. the cops issued a temporary restraining order which lasts for 7 days, and now im more shaken because it says he has to move out! im hoping once the order expires that wont count nomore?.. we went from being a happy family, everything perfect ; to all this overnight im soo lonely right now, hes planning to turn himself in asoon as he gets money to keep me and the kids going while hes away; i dont know if i did the right thing or if i just ruined the best thing i had other than those two incidents he was the best boyfriend & father!! im so lost.. what should i do?? i just want everything back to how it was

Link to comment

First of all, don't feel guilty. You had to do what you needed to so that you could protect yourself and children.

 

Secondly, he CAN control it and he DOES know how to say no, ("hey, thanks for that but it's best if I don't drink anymore. I appreciate the offer, though"). He CHOOSES to drink to the point where he CHOOSES to get violent. The police are doing their best to protect you, but you must also see that he is not good for you. Is he a good person? Yes, probably. But he CHOOSES to put your life in danger so as he is right now (not as you'd like him to be, but right now) it's better if he is not with you. It will take time for you to see that you did the best thing.

Link to comment

I hear that everyone is being blamed, but him. So many excuses!!!!! No one forced him to drink the alcohol!

 

Why hasn't this great boyfriend and father gone to A.A.? No, this guy is not the perfect father if he is drinking and not seeking help! Why are not insisting on treatment???

 

This guy is abusive, and one time is one too many.

 

I would look at your co-dependency issues b/c you're not doing your kids or yourself a favor! he is setting a terrible example for his kids.

Link to comment

;ike the previous posters said one time is to many times. dont feel guilty he can say no. when my ex broke up my friends way to make me forget the pain was drinking. i baked of because i know it would just make it worse. dont feel bad for protectin yourself. i hd problems with my ex and i never ever hit her.

Link to comment

You did nothing to cause this he did! You were lucky to have only been bruised and scratched this time and until he starts saying "NO" and admitting that he can never take another sip of alcohol again in his life then you need to stay away from him and protect your children.

 

Put yourself in their position and try to imagine them seeing the man they admire most in the world violently attacking the mother they love more than anyone.....this is something a child should never have to witness & you are the only person who can prevent them ever having to again!

 

Be strong and take no blame for this--just keep it from ever happening again....

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...