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Thread: Reasons why you shouldn't be friends/in contact with your ex! (add your own)

  1. #41
    Bronze Member fire2therain's Avatar
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    - You WILL be happier not being friends with them when the BU is fresh..sometimes even after it's fresh.
    - You will keep your dignity and learn from the experience without being tossed around like a basketball (I know this was already said but it's so damn important IMO that it HAS to be stated more times than once)
    - You will be proud of yourself after for HAVING the respect to not be friends and think about yourself.
    - They are selfish (thinking of their feelings and breaking up with you), so why shouldn't you be selfish?

  2. #42
    Silver Member hrtlsngl7's Avatar
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    Exes don't exist in my book. Non-people. Exes are exes for a reason.

  3. #43
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    As wrong as NC felt for the first few days, after a week I think it's starting to help. I recommend it 100%. I haven't cried (I've gotten teary, but not cried) for over 36 hours. It's really hard, but I know it's for the best. Being friends or staying in contact would have made this process much slower and more painful.

    And the odd thing is, I feel much more confident. I've shown myself that I can live without him, something I never thought possible (and I expect neither did he).

  4. #44
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    *caution, some assumed generalizations below*

    It's a good idea to remind yourself of your exes bad traits every time you happen to think about them. Imagine being married to them and how you would feel being stuck with those bad traits. That ought to put things into perspective!

    Also, think of your first significant other (first real relationship), how you loved them so much and thought you would be together forever. Fast forward to now, you (hopefully) do not care for them like you did before in even the slightest sense and have moved on significantly in other aspects of your life. This goes to show that time and distance (no contact) will do the same with your current ex and situation. There is no exception.

    thoughts?
    Last edited by caughtinabadon; 05-05-2011 at 07:54 AM.

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  6. #45
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    I seriously am going to print our dramallama's list and place it around my mirror I use everyday so that I can have a constant reminder of why I am doing no contact and have no need to be friends until these reasons are deeply embedded in my mind and second nature to me. Not trying to sound dramatic but it really does help to constantly remind myself why I am in it for the long haul

  7. #46
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    Originally Posted by rkw
    I feel much more confident. I've shown myself that I can live without him, something I never thought possible (and I expect neither did he).
    That's awesome. Confidence-building is a real plus side to NC. It can carry over to other parts of your life, too.

  8. #47
    Member SmilingKatty's Avatar
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    Thank you, Dramallama, for posting this. Recently I was contacted by en ex from one year ago - and everything you are warning against in your first post has happened: me overanalysing everything, hearing about his GF and slowing me down in general. I hope, that at least I donīt seem to be a weak person, but who knows?

  9. #48
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    I love your ending!
    it took me a couple of months to realize this. But I at least I learned my lesson.
    NC is the way to be!

  10. #49
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    My ex was selfish and disrespectful of my love, my devotion, and my time, to name but a few. She was critical of me, non-communicative, and dishonest about certain things. I was never any one of those things toward her.

    She was far from a friend to me, and yet now she wants to 'remain' friends???

    HAHAHAHA! Thanks, but no thanks!

  11. #50
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    Well I broke NC yesterday. She called with something related to my work, I called back and she was rude and short with me and hung up quickly. Well I got ticked and called her back and asked what that was all about and basically she said she was "disappointed" with me for not checking on her. We have been 12 days NC till then. My basic response should have been "**** you" but I didn't and just said "you left me, what do you want from me?". Text book actions from a selfish dumper.

    I just don't know why I can't not pick-up the phone? I was doing pretty good and actually don't feel that bad now but still, I just wish I had gotten really mad and let her have it. I guess I was trying to be civil about her leaving me and damn sure have been playing the "it's cool act" but I think now I have to get pissed about her to keep from giving in time and time again. I just can't believe how in love I was with her and still am???? She has been playing me like a fiddle and I have allowed it. What a sucker.

    Any how, just had to vent a bit about it here and thanks for the help. This thread is dead-on money in my case. Just have to man-up and put it back into action. I will say this though, each time this happens it does seem to get easier to get over it quicker and doesn't bother me as much. Good sign I hope.

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