I'd even go so far and venture to say that if the relationship wasn't doomed to fail to begin with, meaning their wasn't any cheating or abuse or the like, it's highly probable for time apart to help BOTH the dumper and the dumpee. I find relationships that end on "good terms" are rarely forever and more often than not are a product of bad timing and confusion for both parties. Unfortunately, it's not until after you're away for a significant amount of time that personal growth and understanding of the relationship when it's not so "close to home" that it happens.
Absence definitely doesn't make my heart grow fonder. In fact...time gives me a better perspective of who he really is. Once I remove that person from my life....then the clearer picture comes into play. Right after a break up I usually only think of the good things about him....after being apart for a while then I see all the reasons I dont want him back.
So, I apologized for my end, gave him a hug, and haven't really spoken to him since. If he was an a-hole I'd assume it's because he's got another girl lined up, however this was the same guy who was crying to his mom about losing me 30 days before. So, I've refrained from talking to him and it's been an awful experience. Two months into our breakup and just over a month of NC hasn't made ANYTHING better. He's coming home from grad school tomorrow and we have yet to exchange our belongings, even though I've requested that he mail them and I tried to get him to drop them off while he was home for his break, no such luck. It's been a frustrating experience because it wasn't a break up of "I hate you, leave me alone" just a "I'm not happy, things need to change." I always liked it better when I got an FU not an uncertainty.
Well Kailynn, for my own sake I hope you are right because that sounds like my relationship. I'm 25 and had to move home with my parents to finish grad school and I think she started resenting me for it over 9 months until we broke up. Big distance physically and emotionally formed in really great relationship and I didn't fight the break on bit. I only told her I was willing to work on it and left it at that.
Well thats sucks you hurt him, you obviously weren't emotionally strong at 17 but none of us really were. I still run into guys though you I think are incapable of love. I don't see this as much in women. Guys who think cheating is as natural as breathing. Some of these men are even married. I have really only ever met a few girls my whole life who thought nothing of cheating it does seem to be skewed in my experience toward men acting this way. Some of these men are even married.
I think that's because when a girl wants to be out of a relationship so often gets herself out of it. A man, and some women, cheat because something in their relationship is missing. Perhaps it's communication, intimacy, or even something as simple as her being unsupportive but, like they do with their feelings, men choose to solve the problem by "finding a solution" instead of actually "working on it" IE: find a hot girl who has what he's looking for instead of facing the issue he has with his partner..even if he loves her.
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