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Thread: never cheated on bf of 6 years, now im having an affair

  1. #1
    BCC123
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    never cheated on bf of 6 years, now im having an affair

    story : my boyfriend and i have been together for 6 years. we both love each other very much and have never cheated on each other before. we are super close and are best friends, and convinced we are gonna be together forever.

    but about a month ago i started cheating. ive been having an affair with another guy that im falling for. he knows everything about my boyfriend and hes actually been hanging out with our friends with over a year now but just recently showed interest.

    ive been staying with him every night for a little over a week now and we are developing strong feelings for each other. hes convinced im gonna leave my bf for him, and ive tried to but its so hard to officially end things between us.

    ive tried telling my bf that i need a break and i do believe we'll be together forever, but that we should both be single one more time before we meet back up for good. he says he can tell ive been different and he knows i dont want to be with him anymore. he doesnt know theres someone else and i keep telling him i dont want to break up to be with other guys, just to be alone and have space (which he always gives me when i want) but the thought of not having him around scares me because we've been together for so long. i love him so much and there are things that i just cant compare to anyone else because, well its him and we've been building this for so long.

    i have no idea why i started cheating. idk if i was bored or what. i know our relationship is already ruined because of my cheating so it's almost like i have to.

    i have to choose between the two very soon, and i have no idea what im gonna do.
    what if my affair is just fun because its new and exciting? what if i immediately regret breaking up with my bf and he moves on? all these what ifs are killing me and i really need some advice! any advice is appreciated.

  2. #2
    iBroken
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    Stop being a coward and tell him the truth - let him make the decision for you........

    You are only making this worse by lying to him and saying that you need to be alone for space when in reality, you were not likely going to feel this way if AP wasnt in the picture. He deserves to know that you are laying in some other mans arms every night. He also deserves someone who will respect the boundaries of a relationship.

  3. #3
    ferna3069
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    man this is real bad. i have a question for you. if you break up with him. and tell him you want to be single how do you think he is going to feel when he finds out about the other person?imean imagine this is you. how would you feel. put yourself in his shoes. and also if you wanted to be with some one else you should of never cheated. because if some one takes a cheater. its more likly that person will probably cheat. dont use the guy your with just leave. because your hurting him way more then you know.

  4. #4
    DN

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    So you want to 'have a break' with this new guy without telling your boyfriend that you are cheating on him with the new guy so that if the new romance doesn't work out you can go back to your old boyfriend and he won't know?

    Please, tell your boyfriend the truth so he can find someone who loves him and won't cheat on him. I am sure you and the new guy will do just fine even if you don't stay together.

  5. #5
    faithful14
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    I think you need to be honest with your boyfriend about what's going on.

    He deserves to know the truth about you so he can decide what to do.

  6. #6
    avman
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    I too think your boyfriend deserves the truth. You can't be seriously thinking of telling him you want a break and then go behind his back with a new guy. That's so unfair. Break up with your boyfriend if you want to play the field.

  7. #7
    guynextdoor
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    The damage is done. Please tell your bf so he can move on with his life without you...

  8. #8
    C_Unknown2005
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    I think it's very selfish of you to be cheating on your boyfriend. The relationship needs to end and if you TRULY love someone you wouldn't have slept with this other guy."You believe you'll be together forever" is bullcrap and all your doing is dragging this out. To me the relationship you two have built is about to crumble. You need to be honest with him and tell the bitter truth.

    I'm not here to judge you but what I think your doing is wrong. And going to the rebound guy will not help you in the long run with your mind set.


    Holy cow this forum blew up!!

  9. #9
    teabee
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    I believe you do not have empathy for your boyfriend right now. You will understand better when you see the devastation on his face when he finds out.

  10. #10
    BCC123
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    i said any advice is appreciated, and it is. i need to hear this from an outside perspective because all of my friends have just been supportive to what they think i want to hear. obviously there are other factors that would take me months to type in this forum, but those are the main points. thanks everyone

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