Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: met the man of dreams finally but he lives in another state!

  1. #1
    aussielis
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    830
    Thanked
    5

    met the man of dreams finally but he lives in another state!

    I have posted a bit on here about all the loser's I have met a few week's ago i went on a weekend away to another state (2 hours plane flight away) i went out had big night and slept with a guy (wasnt expecting anything). he was so lovely, decent and we didnt stop cuddling all night. he text me a few days later to say nice to meet you and keep in contact i then get a text from saying he is coming down to my city with his kids and he would like to see me. so yesterday he arranged a babysitter and came all the way into town to see me, lovely, decent, manners. We had great night together i wanted to take him out on the town so we went to 5 different bars home at 3.30am. He stayed i dropped him off this morning as he had to go back to his kids. He asked me to come up and look at getting cheap flights. He is going to come down again late June for the weekend and stay with me. I went away today feeling so sad i cant stop crying ive met a nice guy for a change and he lives so far away. I dont know what he expects of 'us' and i dont want to say anything. His marriage broke up a year ago and i think he is still hurt over that. Not sure what to do, i feel really sad!

  2. #2
    soybeans
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    819
    Gender
    Female
    Reading this has literally made my stomach turn. How do you not see everything that is wrong with this situation?

  3. #3
    aussielis
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    830
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by soybeans [Register to see the link]
    Reading this has literally made my stomach turn. How do you not see everything that is wrong with this situation?
    im sorry? if you referring to me sleeping with him then as i said in my post i slept with him initially as i never expected anything to come out of it it was a holiday fling, i didnt even expect to hear from him but now i have and quite a bit too, so why did it make your stomach turn?

  4. #4
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,226
    Thanked
    355
    It sounds like you had a nice time with him but you also seem to be romanticizing everything to a high degree. He is the "man of your dreams"? You always envisioned your dream man to be a divorced father of two who is still not over his painful recent divorce? I think that you have had such horrible guys in your life that an encounter with a guy with manners and who treated you decently has sent you all the way up to the moon.

    It is time to slow down and assess things. You went into this thinking it was a holiday fling. Now he is your dream man and you are planning future weekends together. The reality is probably something more in the middle. Take a second and look at the big picture. Is an out of state romance something you are willing to pursue? Or maybe, just maybe, your first instinct was correct... this was meant to be a wonderful positive fling and nothing more. What do you think?

  5. #5
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    34
    Posts
    28,857
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3136
    I understand your desire to want to think of him as perfect. I won't even take that from you. What I will say is that you should be happy that you met him. Think of him as evidence to yourself that there are nice guys out there and you can keep looking with a positive attitude. Hugs.

  6. #6
    Stay_home
    Forum Supporter Stay_home's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Somewhere out of space
    Posts
    4,354
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    51
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    I dont know what he expects of 'us' and i dont want to say anything. His marriage broke up a year ago and i think he is still hurt over that. Not sure what to do, i feel really sad!
    There is no "us," Aussielis. It's all in your head. You don't even know this guy.

  7. #7
    Nerdyjock
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    USA
    Age
    29
    Posts
    645
    Gender
    Male
    I don't see where all the hate towards the original poster is coming from.

    Let her have her romantic weekend. Sure it may not work out, but dang... shooting down someone's excitement over a fairy tale weekend? There's a difference between being realistic and cynical. Since when did having children and a divorce disqualify someone from being a good catch? Yes, I recognize that maybe someone falling so deeply may be alarming for rational-minded people, but does that stop any of us from treasuring the story of Romeo and Juliet?

    I'm not blind to some possible delusions of grandeur from a mere weekend together. But I am all about some fantasy weekends. I say if you felt the chemistry, go for it, and I hope it works out. If not, at least you got to enjoy such a blissful feeling for a while =]

  8. #8
    aussielis
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    830
    Thanked
    5

    thanks nerdy jock!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerdyjock [Register to see the link]
    I don't see where all the hate towards the original poster is coming from.

    Let her have her romantic weekend. Sure it may not work out, but dang... shooting down someone's excitement over a fairy tale weekend? There's a difference between being realistic and cynical. Since when did having children and a divorce disqualify someone from being a good catch? Yes, I recognize that maybe someone falling so deeply may be alarming for rational-minded people, but does that stop any of us from treasuring the story of Romeo and Juliet?

    I'm not blind to some possible delusions of grandeur from a mere weekend together. But I am all about some fantasy weekends. I say if you felt the chemistry, go for it, and I hope it works out. If not, at least you got to enjoy such a blissful feeling for a while =]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...

  9. #9
    Nerdyjock
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    USA
    Age
    29
    Posts
    645
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...
    Your heart is definitely in control right now. That is fine, jsut try to make sure your mind is involved in your thinking too every now and then. Like I said, there's no gurantee it will work out but I wish you the best and hope that it does. I began my relationship with someone overseas and we are now only 1 hour apart and see each other every weekend. There is nothing in this world that can stand between love. Nothing.

  10. #10
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,226
    Thanked
    355
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...
    There is no hate. I think folks were just strongly urging caution and to look before you leap. As for the whole Romeo and Juliet thing...errrr....how did that turn out in the end for them again? Where is the blissful feeling in this? I thought she was unable to stop crying and extremely sad after only two weekends. Everyone is just trying to inject a little objectivity that is all amid a lot of emotional spectulating. I hope all works out, just take things slow and look at the big picture.
    Last edited by PaintWithLight; 04-20-2011 at 04:17 AM.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
I'm receiving the "Silent Treatment" - Now what?
I've been dating a guy now for almost 4 months. It's been going really well. We have a blast together! Last Friday morning I sent him a picture of my
He lets me pay for half? When He suggested we go eat?
Starters: me-F/20. Him-M/23 So I met this guy 2 weeks ago. He's pretty cool, he asks me to hang every other day and he texts me daily. He always
Is she still interested? Advice for communication.'keeping this alive'
I went out on a first date with a woman I met on an online dating site this past weekend. She had messaged me initially, and we exchanged messages
Uncertainty
Hey everyone! So i won't overwhelm you with a novel about my current situation but I just wanted some advice: I've gone on 3 dates with a great
I became engaged with a girl who calls herself a "free spirit"......need clarity
I met a wonderful and bright girl 3.5 years ago and she by far stole my heart. She is appositely beautiful, funny, intelligent and outgoing. She is
Dating went well; then ended with 'I'm not ready for casual or serious'..
Ok this is a bit of an essay but.... I am 31, and have never had a serious relationship thus far; some , short lived casual flings and one
The 'Time wasters' on dating sites
So here I go again and I'm pretty sure I am not alone here. A woman my age (early 30s) I have been talking to for about a month now just admitted

Featured Threads
Who is in the wrong?
This person isn't really a "friend" she is 24+ years older than me. I have a feeling I'm getting taken advantage of because of my age. I started
I became engaged with a girl who calls herself a "free spirit"......need clarity
I met a wonderful and bright girl 3.5 years ago and she by far stole my heart. She is appositely beautiful, funny, intelligent and outgoing. She is
Has anyone ever totally given up on finding love?
Hello everyone! Well I been wanting to post this for a few weeks now. I don't really know how to say it or word it. But, who here has or knows
Today "should" have been our 6 year anniversary
Today was suppose to be our 6th year together. Today is the first time on this date that we are not together. We made this date a big deal
Shoud I break up because my girlfriend hooked up with my cousin in t
I'm jealous because my girlfriend had casual sex with my cousin before she met me. We've been dating for a year, she's very funny, caring, sexy
I'm in love with my co-worker 😥
My coworker and I started working together about 10 months ago. We work closely together all day just the two of us mainly. From the day he started
Aggressive Courting
There's this girl I really, really like, and would really want to be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, recently I messed up, and now I think she
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •