Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: met the man of dreams finally but he lives in another state!

  1. #1
    aussielis

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    850

    met the man of dreams finally but he lives in another state!

    I have posted a bit on here about all the loser's I have met a few week's ago i went on a weekend away to another state (2 hours plane flight away) i went out had big night and slept with a guy (wasnt expecting anything). he was so lovely, decent and we didnt stop cuddling all night. he text me a few days later to say nice to meet you and keep in contact i then get a text from saying he is coming down to my city with his kids and he would like to see me. so yesterday he arranged a babysitter and came all the way into town to see me, lovely, decent, manners. We had great night together i wanted to take him out on the town so we went to 5 different bars home at 3.30am. He stayed i dropped him off this morning as he had to go back to his kids. He asked me to come up and look at getting cheap flights. He is going to come down again late June for the weekend and stay with me. I went away today feeling so sad i cant stop crying ive met a nice guy for a change and he lives so far away. I dont know what he expects of 'us' and i dont want to say anything. His marriage broke up a year ago and i think he is still hurt over that. Not sure what to do, i feel really sad!

  2. #2
    soybeans
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    819
    Gender
    Female
    Reading this has literally made my stomach turn. How do you not see everything that is wrong with this situation?

  3. #3
    aussielis

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    850
    Quote Originally Posted by soybeans [Register to see the link]
    Reading this has literally made my stomach turn. How do you not see everything that is wrong with this situation?
    im sorry? if you referring to me sleeping with him then as i said in my post i slept with him initially as i never expected anything to come out of it it was a holiday fling, i didnt even expect to hear from him but now i have and quite a bit too, so why did it make your stomach turn?

  4. #4
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,276
    It sounds like you had a nice time with him but you also seem to be romanticizing everything to a high degree. He is the "man of your dreams"? You always envisioned your dream man to be a divorced father of two who is still not over his painful recent divorce? I think that you have had such horrible guys in your life that an encounter with a guy with manners and who treated you decently has sent you all the way up to the moon.

    It is time to slow down and assess things. You went into this thinking it was a holiday fling. Now he is your dream man and you are planning future weekends together. The reality is probably something more in the middle. Take a second and look at the big picture. Is an out of state romance something you are willing to pursue? Or maybe, just maybe, your first instinct was correct... this was meant to be a wonderful positive fling and nothing more. What do you think?

  5. #5
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    36
    Posts
    31,754
    Gender
    Female
    I understand your desire to want to think of him as perfect. I won't even take that from you. What I will say is that you should be happy that you met him. Think of him as evidence to yourself that there are nice guys out there and you can keep looking with a positive attitude. Hugs.

  6. #6
    Stay_home
    Platinum Member Stay_home's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Age
    34
    Posts
    4,437
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    I dont know what he expects of 'us' and i dont want to say anything. His marriage broke up a year ago and i think he is still hurt over that. Not sure what to do, i feel really sad!
    There is no "us," Aussielis. It's all in your head. You don't even know this guy.

  7. #7
    Nerdyjock
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    USA
    Age
    30
    Posts
    645
    Gender
    Male
    I don't see where all the hate towards the original poster is coming from.

    Let her have her romantic weekend. Sure it may not work out, but dang... shooting down someone's excitement over a fairy tale weekend? There's a difference between being realistic and cynical. Since when did having children and a divorce disqualify someone from being a good catch? Yes, I recognize that maybe someone falling so deeply may be alarming for rational-minded people, but does that stop any of us from treasuring the story of Romeo and Juliet?

    I'm not blind to some possible delusions of grandeur from a mere weekend together. But I am all about some fantasy weekends. I say if you felt the chemistry, go for it, and I hope it works out. If not, at least you got to enjoy such a blissful feeling for a while =]

  8. #8
    aussielis

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    850

    thanks nerdy jock!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerdyjock [Register to see the link]
    I don't see where all the hate towards the original poster is coming from.

    Let her have her romantic weekend. Sure it may not work out, but dang... shooting down someone's excitement over a fairy tale weekend? There's a difference between being realistic and cynical. Since when did having children and a divorce disqualify someone from being a good catch? Yes, I recognize that maybe someone falling so deeply may be alarming for rational-minded people, but does that stop any of us from treasuring the story of Romeo and Juliet?

    I'm not blind to some possible delusions of grandeur from a mere weekend together. But I am all about some fantasy weekends. I say if you felt the chemistry, go for it, and I hope it works out. If not, at least you got to enjoy such a blissful feeling for a while =]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...

  9. #9
    Nerdyjock
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    USA
    Age
    30
    Posts
    645
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...
    Your heart is definitely in control right now. That is fine, jsut try to make sure your mind is involved in your thinking too every now and then. Like I said, there's no gurantee it will work out but I wish you the best and hope that it does. I began my relationship with someone overseas and we are now only 1 hour apart and see each other every weekend. There is nothing in this world that can stand between love. Nothing.

  10. #10
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,276
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...
    There is no hate. I think folks were just strongly urging caution and to look before you leap. As for the whole Romeo and Juliet thing...errrr....how did that turn out in the end for them again? Where is the blissful feeling in this? I thought she was unable to stop crying and extremely sad after only two weekends. Everyone is just trying to inject a little objectivity that is all amid a lot of emotional spectulating. I hope all works out, just take things slow and look at the big picture.
    Last edited by PaintWithLight; 04-20-2011 at 05:17 AM.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Red Flag if the guy on first date does not pay for my food?
A guys asked me out to a dinner and picked the restaurant. Toward the end, when the waiter came to drop off the bill, the waiter leaned toward the
Would it be insane to kiss this guy?
I'm in my early 20s and am crushing hard on my physical therapist who's helping me with a chronic injury. Since I got injured, my life's been turned
Should I forgive him
So basically Ive been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Im going to give a bit of background, when we started dating I was considered as the "Too
Only too eager guys
Why it seems that the only guys who are interested are the too eager guys? And they usually are the ones that I don't like physically or emotionally
InsecureBoyfriend
Hello!, Short Story: My girlfirend (26) is friends with 2 ex-lovers and it makes me sick/insecure. I (twentyeight) told her this and want her to
Ghosted by an Ďamazingí man?
Hi Everyone, So after finally leaving an emotionally abusive relationship with a man I had a child with I finally started dating. I went on a few
He didn't even bother to cancel our date leaving me feeling disrespected
We made plans to go out on Friday evening. No place/specific time but we did discuss possible things to do and I knew it would be in the evening

Featured Threads
Red Flag if the guy on first date does not pay for my food?
A guys asked me out to a dinner and picked the restaurant. Toward the end, when the waiter came to drop off the bill, the waiter leaned toward the
narcissistic ex - help/ how to get back at him
So this is a post about a narcisisstic, immature ex. Not an ex boyfriend, not an ex boy, but something in between. It was something in between
University freshers fling?
[B]Hey there! [/B] Thank you so much for reading this. I just [I]REALLY [/I]need advice as it's SERIOUSLY affecting MY LIFE
Should you call out your ex when you find out they've been cheating on you?
Just some thoughts guys. Have you been cheated on? What did you do? Did you call your ex out on the lies and deceit? Or go on with your lives?
Ex is being so angry and hateful
I was in kind of relationship for almost 6-7 months but unexpectedly we broke up. He dumped. Just on a fight. Just day after our breakup. I went back
How to avoid checking up on ex social media?
Hi friends, Iím finding that posting here and seeing so many of us in the same boat is proving rather helpful in my own journey to move on. That
Break-up
Hi, I've recently just been broken up with by my girlfriend of two years, she has stated it wasn't all my fault and she is part to blame, but would
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •