Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18

Thread: met the man of dreams finally but he lives in another state!

  1. #1
    aussielis
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    830
    Thanked
    5

    met the man of dreams finally but he lives in another state!

    I have posted a bit on here about all the loser's I have met a few week's ago i went on a weekend away to another state (2 hours plane flight away) i went out had big night and slept with a guy (wasnt expecting anything). he was so lovely, decent and we didnt stop cuddling all night. he text me a few days later to say nice to meet you and keep in contact i then get a text from saying he is coming down to my city with his kids and he would like to see me. so yesterday he arranged a babysitter and came all the way into town to see me, lovely, decent, manners. We had great night together i wanted to take him out on the town so we went to 5 different bars home at 3.30am. He stayed i dropped him off this morning as he had to go back to his kids. He asked me to come up and look at getting cheap flights. He is going to come down again late June for the weekend and stay with me. I went away today feeling so sad i cant stop crying ive met a nice guy for a change and he lives so far away. I dont know what he expects of 'us' and i dont want to say anything. His marriage broke up a year ago and i think he is still hurt over that. Not sure what to do, i feel really sad!

  2. #2
    soybeans
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    819
    Gender
    Female
    Reading this has literally made my stomach turn. How do you not see everything that is wrong with this situation?

  3. #3
    aussielis
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    830
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by soybeans [Register to see the link]
    Reading this has literally made my stomach turn. How do you not see everything that is wrong with this situation?
    im sorry? if you referring to me sleeping with him then as i said in my post i slept with him initially as i never expected anything to come out of it it was a holiday fling, i didnt even expect to hear from him but now i have and quite a bit too, so why did it make your stomach turn?

  4. #4
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,248
    Thanked
    380
    It sounds like you had a nice time with him but you also seem to be romanticizing everything to a high degree. He is the "man of your dreams"? You always envisioned your dream man to be a divorced father of two who is still not over his painful recent divorce? I think that you have had such horrible guys in your life that an encounter with a guy with manners and who treated you decently has sent you all the way up to the moon.

    It is time to slow down and assess things. You went into this thinking it was a holiday fling. Now he is your dream man and you are planning future weekends together. The reality is probably something more in the middle. Take a second and look at the big picture. Is an out of state romance something you are willing to pursue? Or maybe, just maybe, your first instinct was correct... this was meant to be a wonderful positive fling and nothing more. What do you think?

  5. #5
    Ms Darcy
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    United States
    Age
    35
    Posts
    30,863
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5374
    I understand your desire to want to think of him as perfect. I won't even take that from you. What I will say is that you should be happy that you met him. Think of him as evidence to yourself that there are nice guys out there and you can keep looking with a positive attitude. Hugs.

  6. #6
    Stay_home
    Forum Supporter Stay_home's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Age
    33
    Posts
    4,426
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    93
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    I dont know what he expects of 'us' and i dont want to say anything. His marriage broke up a year ago and i think he is still hurt over that. Not sure what to do, i feel really sad!
    There is no "us," Aussielis. It's all in your head. You don't even know this guy.

  7. #7
    Nerdyjock
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    USA
    Age
    29
    Posts
    645
    Gender
    Male
    I don't see where all the hate towards the original poster is coming from.

    Let her have her romantic weekend. Sure it may not work out, but dang... shooting down someone's excitement over a fairy tale weekend? There's a difference between being realistic and cynical. Since when did having children and a divorce disqualify someone from being a good catch? Yes, I recognize that maybe someone falling so deeply may be alarming for rational-minded people, but does that stop any of us from treasuring the story of Romeo and Juliet?

    I'm not blind to some possible delusions of grandeur from a mere weekend together. But I am all about some fantasy weekends. I say if you felt the chemistry, go for it, and I hope it works out. If not, at least you got to enjoy such a blissful feeling for a while =]

  8. #8
    aussielis
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    830
    Thanked
    5

    thanks nerdy jock!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerdyjock [Register to see the link]
    I don't see where all the hate towards the original poster is coming from.

    Let her have her romantic weekend. Sure it may not work out, but dang... shooting down someone's excitement over a fairy tale weekend? There's a difference between being realistic and cynical. Since when did having children and a divorce disqualify someone from being a good catch? Yes, I recognize that maybe someone falling so deeply may be alarming for rational-minded people, but does that stop any of us from treasuring the story of Romeo and Juliet?

    I'm not blind to some possible delusions of grandeur from a mere weekend together. But I am all about some fantasy weekends. I say if you felt the chemistry, go for it, and I hope it works out. If not, at least you got to enjoy such a blissful feeling for a while =]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...

  9. #9
    Nerdyjock
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    USA
    Age
    29
    Posts
    645
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...
    Your heart is definitely in control right now. That is fine, jsut try to make sure your mind is involved in your thinking too every now and then. Like I said, there's no gurantee it will work out but I wish you the best and hope that it does. I began my relationship with someone overseas and we are now only 1 hour apart and see each other every weekend. There is nothing in this world that can stand between love. Nothing.

  10. #10
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,248
    Thanked
    380
    Quote Originally Posted by aussielis [Register to see the link]
    yes i was a bit shocked by soy bean's comments...this wasnt just one weekend its been 2 now...
    There is no hate. I think folks were just strongly urging caution and to look before you leap. As for the whole Romeo and Juliet thing...errrr....how did that turn out in the end for them again? Where is the blissful feeling in this? I thought she was unable to stop crying and extremely sad after only two weekends. Everyone is just trying to inject a little objectivity that is all amid a lot of emotional spectulating. I hope all works out, just take things slow and look at the big picture.
    Last edited by PaintWithLight; 04-20-2011 at 05:17 AM.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
How do I broach this conversation?
So over Thanksgiving I reconnected with a man with whom I was very, very close from the end of high school through my junior year of college. Long
BF just said:"guys will have sex with anything that moves"
Shocker. Last night when we were about to go to sleep, he said something like "yeah, if there is a hole, guys will slay it. Just have to try it ya
Timing for Dates
I was wondering what everyone's thoughts were on "last minute" date plans or tentative plans that aren't confirmed until last minute. I'm a planner
How to let someone down easy
Hello all, really needing some advice here. My coworker/friend confessed his feelings for me a week ago. When he did this he sat me down and asked to
She introduced me to her parents so soon. Is this strange?
I met this girl online a few days ago. She invited me over and we did have sex. Her parents came home and she introduced me like I was already her
Married man at work flirting with me? Now he is not acknowledging me, confused
There is this really cute guy who works in my office hes 35 but he looks and acts like he is 25, i just found out today that he has kids, i did also
A date with a disrespectful twist
So I've been on a few dates with this bloke, and he invited me up to his friends today. So I travelled 20 miles to see him and as I turned up he said

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Beautiful women who works at lush...
So there is this a girl who works at this place. I've been in there twice now and she is a stunner. Its one of those girls who you have to look twice
Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend
My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active
Wondering?
Ok, I posted before about my situation but I would like to further talk. This woman I became involved with 3 years ago TOLD me she had feelings for
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
She's getting ready for marriage. She thinks that it is what I want. My fault.
So, I am pretty much in a difficult situation. I have been with a girl for the past 4 years. In these 4 years, after a while I realized she really
Venting - Advice...?
Hello, Im a 36 year old male, married with 3 kids. My wife and I are pretty much like roommates. There is zero sex life and its from both ends
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •