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Thread: DO NOT unblock your ex.

  1. #1
    SapphireNoir10
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    DO NOT unblock your ex.

    I block all my exes on facebook unless we break up on good terms. I recently unblocked my ex fiance...we've been split up like...6 months I think.

    I've had a new bf for 3 months and things are good.

    But suddenly having his comments pop up everywhere one everything. BAD MOVE. and you have 48 hours until you can block them again.

    Even if you FEEL completely healed. Unblocking = bad plan.

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
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    It wasnt a 'I miss them' Feeling either. It was a 'Hm, my life is better without them. I do NOT need to be reminded of this/that/them'

  3. #3
    jumper11
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    Yeah, I think even when we are healed and know it's for the best, there are always going to be residual feelings towards the person, once you have a physical relationship with someone, I think that's what forms all these deep bonds with the person. I think it's always going to hurt a little bit even when you know it's for the best.. My ex is meeting me today to try to get me back and even though I know I shouldn't go back to him, there are always old feelings that get in the way that I am sort of worried about, and I know if I say 'no' that I shouldn't re-add on facebook, too hard..

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    SapphireNoir10
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    I've reblocked him!

    Yeah, there are happy memories associated, but mostly bad memories. I know Im better off. And I dont miss him and I dont love him, but your right when you've spent a year with someone, lived with them, there are residual feelings of course they are.

    Although, it bothered me a lot less than I thought it might. I feel like I've come a long way.

    Stay strong Jumper. You know your better off without them.

  5. #5
    Daligal83
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    I had a hard time seeing my ex all over Facebook, but we are working on being friends so I didn't want to defriend him. I just took him off of my news feed so most of the time I don't have his name thrown in my face. I choose when to go look and his page to see what's going on. And yes, I still look everyday...but it's under my control. It doesn't take my by surprise. It's definitely helped a lot.

  6. #6
    1Lonely1
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    Question why does one block an ex? I imagine it is part of a "healing process". Mind you I have no experience in relationships, at least not sexual, but isn't having the ability to confront the issue and accept your departure a healthy route, giving the ability to yourself to understand the break-up and move on? I find that perhaps having a relationship in part is understanding that you should not fear losing it either because realistically it may not last forever. Is this rationale a reasonable one? I find blocking a form of escapism, I find rather confrontation the real healer because it allows you to embrace fear of the hardship of emotion, which is loss.

    Can someone challenge that?
    Last edited by 1Lonely1; 04-16-2011 at 10:32 AM. Reason: grammar

  7. #7
    jumper11
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    Thanks It means a lot. I'm seeing him really soon. I think I'll be okay but just trying to keep the old feelings in check. I've really moved on but the feelings I'm keeping in check are normal I think. If he wanted to do this a month ago, I'd be all on it, he's just a little too late I think.

    I'm glad you're okay. 6 months still isn't all that long so that's awesome you are doing okay. I'm at 4 months.. I found after the third month, that's when I made big steps in moving on. Of course that's when they always come back, lol, when you're done.

    I'm glad you re-blocked him . I've just kept mine deleted.

  8. #8
    SapphireNoir10
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    Yeah I can challenge it. When I get my heart broken and a relationship ends. I can accept my part in it. I know in my last three relationships I have been with verbally and one physically abusive guys.

    I know that I let my last ex treat me like crap and should have walked away. I blocked him because I hated seeing him flirting with his exes all over facebook and also just having him pop up everywhere was turning me into a mess, and I did whatever was necessary to have him OUT of my life, his toxic influence OUT of my life.

    When it comes to healing, its about doing whats right for you at the time. Like now, I can accept I Wasnt perfect, it wasnt all his fault, etc, and I know WHY it ended and Im a better person for it. BUt I still dont want him all over my facebook. Brings back BAD memories.

  9. #9
    SapphireNoir10
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    I faced the end of the relationship, moving hundreds of miles back home, packing up my stuff, sorting out everything with my ex. Then once I was at home, I blocked him. I did not need to speak to him or have him in my life any longer.

    I cried, it hurt, but Im over him now, with someone else and a lot happier.

  10. #10
    SapphireNoir10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daligal83 [Register to see the link]
    I had a hard time seeing my ex all over Facebook, but we are working on being friends so I didn't want to defriend him. I just took him off of my news feed so most of the time I don't have his name thrown in my face. I choose when to go look and his page to see what's going on. And yes, I still look everyday...but it's under my control. It doesn't take my by surprise. It's definitely helped a lot.
    See mine ended horribly. He basically called me every name under the sun, said he hated me etc. It was the 6th time he'd broke up with me. So I called his bluff and moved back home and he sent me presents/messages. But I had to stick to my guns. I had to block all forms of communication for fear of getting suckered back in again.

    I cant imagine us being friends because he hates me for leaving.

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