Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: how do you say goodbye to an ex, when you still love them?advice?

  1. #1
    lor90236
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    55

    how do you say goodbye to an ex, when you still love them?advice?

    ill try to make this short. my ex and i dated for about a year and a half. he broke up with me at the beginning of his senior year in college, not because he lost feelings but because he didnt know where he was going with life after college-pretty normal and he didt want to lead me on all year. he was very honest, he just cant settle into a commitment right now, which i understand. i didnt want the breakup, and ive been trying really hard all year to heal, and he has too. right now were "best friends", but bottom line it still hurts me. im separated myself at times to go on with life, which i have, but feelings still remain. im pretty sure he still has feelings, and is not shuting the door to possibilities, if the time is right. but im not depending on that. ive met other guys, no interest in them. im still open-minded to meeting new people, but its just a negatory right now, which im fine with being single.

    im doing the best to move forward and taking care of myself, and i honestly do just want to be there for him, and so does he. my lfe is pretty much great, but my feelings havent changed...basically, i could handle him moving on, but ill be honest, yeah id be jealous if he dated someone soonish.

    i dont really care for the "dont ever talk to him again" attitude and hate...i dont want that. bottom line, whether were together or not we still wish the best for one another.

    has anyone gone through a similar confusing situation?

    hes graduating and moving home in a month, i dont know how to handle the goodbye..to do it? not do it? any suggestions? i dont want to be dramatic about it. to sum up, im bummed and dont know how to do the "goodbye for now" .

    would it be out of line to ask him if he just loves me as a friend? not as a lover anymore?

    p.s.

    if its meant to be, itll be.....anyone had success on getting someone back eventually without being controlling?
    Last edited by lor90236; 04-14-2011 at 10:41 AM.

  2. #2
    jefr61

    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    94
    Thanked
    1
    I think the reason you arent getting many responses is that you are both so young...many of us "older folks" remember these types of things...and how they worked out well, either with getting back together, or growing into something better. I have just lost a love...at age 49...and I would simply say to you..be authentic...say what you feel and then let everything sort itself out from there...dont left anything unsaid. I think thats counter to a lot of advive on here

  3. #3
    garretp
    Member garretp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Age
    25
    Posts
    142
    Gender
    Male
    Ok, well I just had to do the same thing with my ex. Except it was because she broke up with me and started dating someone else a week later.

    So I asked if I could she her one last time to say goodbye and I had something I wanted to give her (I didnt tell her what, and I think she still thinks I meant all the stuff I gave back to her, But it was just a hug, just wanted to give her one last hug).

    So I got there I looked at her and cried for a little bit, I stopped and was very calm after that (I think she was a little surprised how well I was taking it....I wasn't I was just making it look like it). So we talked for awhile, and I said goodbye and hugged her (she wouldn't let go) and I turn to leave and she stopped me saying she didn't want me to go. But I simply said with a smile "I have to, you love someone else" I again said goodbye and she hugged me this time (again very long). At this point shes crying and I feel REALLY bad.

    So I left with a smile on my face, and that's what I hope she remembers, my smile and all the good times.

    So to you I have to say try and say goodbye with a smile (It is not easy, especially when you love them so much). It'll help you feel like you did something good, and I was proud of myself for being able to leave there like that.

    Your right if its meant to be it will be. Just keep on going, you never know what life will bring. Im sorry about what happened. I know how it feels. Be strong and speak to him from the heart and say what you need to say.

    And about your question "would it be out of line to ask him if he just loves me as a friend? not as a lover anymore?" I would just say what you feel, you love him, so If I were you I would say it no matter what he feels I would say "I love you" because you do, and if he says it back then he says it back, if not then at least you were able to say it before it was to late. right? That's what I did, and she ended up saying it back.

    good luck. and if you want you can let me know how it goes. Id be happy to talk.

  4. #4
    ifeelalone
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    9
    i was in your situation and i never let go of my ex and now im more messed up than ever. if i had my time over, id have cut my ex out of my life instead of ruining it. there is no possible way to stay in touch with each other without you getting hurt when u still have feelings for him because you will always be secretly hoping you will work things out.

Top Threads
How do I overcome obsession on my girlfriend's ex?
Iím writing because I recognize now that Iím dealing with a really serious issue. I fell in love with this nice girl a while ago. When I met her, she
Unfriended ex, got blocked.
Well, long story short, my ex and I broke up about five months ago, it ended pretty bad, she cheated and off with someone else. At first I was
Feelings for my Ex
So I have this guy who is my best friend and he means the world to me. We dated last year but broke up due to stuff going on, but later he asked me
I'm recieving mixed signals from my ex, any advice?
Hey guys, I thought I'd post on this forum to get some impartial advice and not from friends or family and I appreciate any feedback :) Okay, my
First love, old spark
Hi everyone, so here is my predicament. Me & my ex broke up 2 years ago, ( i broke up with him )we was together 8 years we met at school, so we was
Strange coincidences... am I reading into this too much (of course I am)
So the past year has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. It started last summer when my parents discovered my brother was gay (rather than he
Having a tough time moving on
My boyfriend dumped me about 8 months ago. We've been together for almost 10 months. He said he couldn't see the relationship work in the long run

Featured Threads
I would kill just to talk to her again:(
I know, it's pathetic. But it's been 6-7 weeks, post breakup, and I text her only once during that time, which was a short and uplifting text, but to
One year after my wife left, am I ready to move on?
My three year marriage came to an end about a year ago. During the three years, we were very happy, mainly because I was extremely giving. She came
Girlfriend Problems
My friend and I have had a "thing" for about a year now and we're technically dating. We both love each other and we've grown very comfortable around
Too much confusion...
About month ago I felt perfect , everything was going just fine, I mostly stopped thinking about my ex,and then bam - she contacted me. She contacted
Did I do the right thing? Dating a guy with kids whos living with his baby mama
Okay so basically I struck up a friendship with someone online who told me he had three kids and he was still living with his baby mama. The big red
How to make things up with my family?
Hi all, About a couple of weeks ago, I had an argument with my parents that escalated into something way bigger than it should have been, and
She isn't happy with me anymore.
Hi, I just found out about this site and I decided to ask you guys for help. I've been dating a girl for 4 months. She has anxiety and sometimes gets
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •