the ex girlfriend

hey guys,

so i had my first ever relationship with a girl two years ago, we were together for 14 months but after a lot of fighting we split up. She hurt me by always tring to make me jealous by saying that she was in love with other people who were more attractive and interesting than i was, and after about 5 months without contact she has started trying to contact me again. Im still scared of being hurt by her, but i still have feelings for her. What should i do?

Trying to make you jealous in that way was mean and hurtful. You don't need someone like that back in your life. When a relationship ends, your feelings for that person won't disappear overnight. It takes time for them to fade. So now is the time to use your head and not your heart, to look forward and not backwards.

I think that if you still have feelings for her that you should confront her about how unpleasant she was making you feel with her attempts to make you feel jealous and basically not worth her time because she loved more "interesting" people before you. Then move on from her. Its going to be pretty tough because of those feelings you still have for her but find ways to keep your mind off of her. You said this was your first relationship with a girl. There are more you will meet that won't put you down and will be worth your time to date. Relationships arent about making the other person jealous by saying hurtful things like that. So if she calls again just tell her straight up how she made you feel when she did that. You will slowly move on from her and definitely meet someone better

thanks for the advice. I have confronted her about how she made me feel before, but no matter what i say to her she always tries to get back again by either calling me, coming to my house or writing me letters. I just dont know if she is being genuine when she says she is sorry

She hurt me by always trying to make me jealous by saying that she was in love with other people who were more attractive and interesting than i was....

To me that is a little vague of what actually went on between the two of you. It does sound like you have some insecurity issues that you need to deal with. Did you learn and grow as a person, or are you going to fall into the same traps, and make the same mistakes over and over again? Often we make most of our mistakes in our first relationships before we get it right.

Good luck

Well, the ball is definitely in your court because she is chasing after you and not giving up. Think about it this way, even if the sorry was genuine , would you still be willing to put yourself back in that relationship with her? If it was genuine then it means she understands that she hurt you.and if it wasn't , she still hurt you. But the question is will you be okay if you get back with her and she does this again? Its really up to you in the end. No one knows her except you. You mentioned that there was alot if fighting and you broke up, so it seems like the relationship in the past with her was unhealthy... Sorry won't fix all your fighting that you both had. History has a special way of repeating itself. But once again, you are the only one that knows her. Good luck

I'd wonder if she wasn't just trying to use me to make someone else jealous.

i no that she wasnt trying to make someone else jealous because she told me she was doing it on purpose. She told me that it was her idea of a joke to see if i would fight for her, but at the time i was too hurt to say anything, so she was mad at me about it.

Eventhough you have feelings for her it is not likely that things would be different the second time around. Your ex just seems to naturally flirty, and likes to play these little mind games. She would be better off with a girlfriend who tolerates these little games as long as she knows she isn't serious about them. You would be better off with a girlfriend who is more sensitive to your insecurities.