I really need answers cuz im losing my mind over this. I met this guy on facebook and we sent each other messages at first, then i found out that his dad and my dad were friends in high school. We exchanged phone numbers and started calling and skyping each other everyday. We started having feelings for each other. We even gave each other pet names. I was always the last person he talked to before he went to bed. Sometimes, he would fall asleep while skyping cuz he would be tired from work. Sometimes, he would call me from work to tell me he's been thinking about me all day and how much i mean to him. The whole time we were skyping, we never talked sexual. Everytime it was almost going that route, we both stop, saying we don't wanna make this relationship about sex. We both decided not to have sex with anyone else until we see each other. We talked about marriage, family, our careers, values, beliefs, everything. He has a great job and was planning to buy a house. He told me he's ready to settle down and i said i was too. He told his friends and some of his family members about me. I even spoke to them on the phone. He told me one of the most important thing to him in a relationship is TRUST and if that trust is broken once, there's no second chance for him cuz he wouldn't be able to trust her anymore. He said he wanted a good woman and a good wife and someone he can trust completely.
He lives in the UK and i live in the US, so he decided to fly to pay me a visit. Meanwhile, we had been communicating over a month. The first day he came, i picked him up at the airport. We saw each other and hugged for at least 5 minutes. I was so nervous and shaking cuz he is so gorgeous and i liked him a lot!! I started driving from the airport to his hotel. We got lost for a while cuz the airport is like an hr from my house and i didn't have my GPS or the directions i wrote down. I also don't go there often. He teased me about it and we both laughed it off. He complemented me about my looks throughout the whole drive, even when i got out of the car to pay for gas. I noticed he kept checking me out and told me how gorgeous i looked.
Anyways, we finally got to the hotel and we immediately started kissing after we got into his room. We started kissing passionately and taking off each other's clothes. He pulled me to the bed and kissed some more. I stopped him and told him we need to talk and take it slow cuz we just met in person. We stopped, but started kissing again and i guess i got really into it and started giving him a head. He didn't stop me of course, until he came like 20 mins later. After cumming, he just laid down on the bed and changed his mood. He stopped touching me and didn't even wanna cuddle. We both laid on the bed and I tried to kiss him, but he wasn't really responding well. I asked him what was wrong and he just looked at me and said, "this is not gonna work". I asked him why, but he said the image he had of me in his head is not the same he is seeing in person, that he wasn't feeling it anymore. He said he couldn't tell me exactly what it was cuz he doesn't wanna hurt my feelings or make me feel inadequate cuz another man might adore it, so its better he doesn't tell me. Mind you, we hadn't even had intercourse. He didn't even touch me down there.
Of course, i was hurt and embarrassed, so i got out of bed and started wearing my clothes. I went into the bathroom and started crying. He came in and tried to console me, saying he couldn't control the way he felt. He said he cared about me, thats why he told me the first day cuz if he didn't care, he would've had sex with me the whole 3 days and never call me again. This all happened in a space of like 4 hours of meeting him. I was so heartbroken cuz i really liked this guy.
We both went to dinner after that and he said he felt like * * * * . That maybe he's overreacting. I couldn't eat anything and he obviously didn't enjoy his food either. He tried to feed me, asked me how i was feeling, but i was speechless at the way the whole thing ended so quickly! I kept drinking and trying to get tipsy. We left the restaurant and I drove him back to his hotel and he said i shouldn't even bother coming up to his hotel room cuz everything felt awkward and we both already feel like crap so i should just go home. He also said i shouldn't bother about him for the rest of the days he would be in town, that i shouldn't feel responsible for him. I went home crying and i went on fb and blocked all my pictures. He sent me an email asking why i blocked my pictures and deleted me off of fb! He said it was best for both of us, so that we won't keep looking at each other's pictures. He spent the rest of the days in my town without a single call or text. He went back to the UK without saying goodbye to me and that was it! I sent him texts and emails asking what i did to tick him off and i got no replies!
It's been a week since this happened and i've been depressed ever since. I cry myself to sleep and i wake up crying every day. Im losing my mind and i just need someone to tell me what i did wrong! I've been looking in the mirror to see if maybe im ugly. I don't think i am and he even told me how beautiful i am. I don't have deformities on my body. Im not overweight at all. Am i a bad kisser?? Was i too aggressive with him? Did i give it up too easy?? Did he think he couldn't trust me cuz i gave him head the first day?? Does he think i do that with every guy i meet??? Does he think im not a wife material cuz of all that?? Did he hear bad things about me?? These are all the things that go through my head every single day!! Im just shocked at the way he switched on me just like that!! I still have strong feelings for this guy cuz he's a good guy and i just can't get over him! Help me pls before i go crazy!!