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Thread: Life in the Driver's Seat

  1. #21
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I have often wondered why people think having children is selfish. To me it is entirely about love. You love someone enough to give them a child. You love the world enough to share your genetics and love with it. You love your child enough to give them life. Love is the only thing in my mind. I do not get it. How is that selfish?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Alezia's Avatar
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    I think it comes from the perspective that you are choosing to bring in another child with your genes to this already overpopulated world with tons of children being not taken care of. A lot of people wouldn't consider adoption, but wouldn't mind having another bio child.

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    See I do not see the world as over populated I see it has resources are misappropriated by regions and governments and in cases dictators. There is more than enough if the world's resources are used with equality.

    As far as adopting I am not opposed to it and even tried adopting once but my husband was not ready at the time.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Alezia's Avatar
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    I see it as overpopulated when you compare the earth's life diversity. We are pushing out other species simply because we use resources inefficiently - but that's getting really off topic.

    I'm not opposed to adoption either (though I am not ready for another child at this point bio or not). I hear tons of stories where people do not want children from previous marriages, but they want to have 'new' ones with the partner. As if children from previous marriages were some kind of disposable commodity.
    I see this mentality around this neighbourhood a lot (semi dettached houses, so I suppose it's a target area for 2nd marriages and starter families like us). Although the child from the first marriage is taken care of in terms of food, housing, clothes etc... they always come 2nd to the 'new' child.

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    Very true mousty. There really is a drive and a need in some people to biologically reproduce. There was a thread on the forum the other week about an engaged couple who broke up over children-- they both wanted to have them, but she refused to have them biologically and for him there was no other way.

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    Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

    Mark Twain

  8. #27
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    The pain in my knee seems to be subsiding thank goodness, but I have really pampered it the last few days. Now I have a new problem with it which is similar to what I had years ago in that it locks up and causes instant pain or I can not have it at the proper angle it should be or it locks and causes pain. Man do I curse the person that did this to me originally.

  9. #28
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    I can not wait to go home next week to see my mom and my nieces and my step dad and my little foster sister. We have not been home since Christmas and I miss everyone and feel home sick. My brother won't be there which is sad, he will be in Portland for work. Boo. I miss my brother. It is funny because I call him baby brother, even though he is 6 feet tall,muscular and pretty tough. To me he will always be my "baby brother". He calls me little big sister. Mind you all only when we talk in private. Other than that I call him by the short version of his name and he does the same with me.

    I remember a few years back when our dad was missing and he wanted me to go with him to look through the hospitals in town for him. He said " you are the tough one, I can not do this alone, you have to come." That kind of brought me back to our childhood and he was SO shy. He was the nicest and sweetest little boy. Everyone loved him and he was the smartest kid in his class always. He started grade 1 at 4 years old and he could already read and multiply and divide and add and subtract. He was and still is very smart. I think the most important thing about him was and is how sweet and humble he is. When he was little I was his hero and he was my darling baby brother.Wow yeah, I miss him huge.

    I miss my mom too, she was an almost every single day part of my life for 43 years. We mean a lot to each other and have suffered a lot of common pain and e have been constant companions for a long time, since I was a teen when I would travel with her on business. We have always been great buddies.

    I miss my step dad too, because we always try to play mock each other and generally have a good laugh. He is a great guy and loves my son to pieces.

    I miss my little foster sister because she is so sweet and helpful and has a great nature. She is also my son's best friend.

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    I'm one of those people who feels that it is, in some way, selfish, for exactly the reasons Mousty outlined. But then, selfishness isn't always a bad thing. I wouldn't have wanted my mother to create me purely out of selflessness because I'd like to think that she did it for the joy and fulfillment it would bring her. I don't necessarily see selfish acts as a bad thing, usually they're positive, especially when they're based on love.

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    Originally Posted by under_my_amberella
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    I'm one of those people who feels that it is, in some way, selfish, for exactly the reasons Mousty outlined. But then, selfishness isn't always a bad thing. I wouldn't have wanted my mother to create me purely out of selflessness because I'd like to think that she did it for the joy and fulfillment it would bring her. I don't necessarily see selfish acts as a bad thing, usually they're positive, especially when they're based on love.
    This I can understand UMA. I think my reaction is more to people to say, "why the heck have your own kids rather than adopt the millions that are out there that do not have parents". They are completely ignoring some major issues or do not feel the issues are important or what have you.

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