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How often did it happen to you that you NEVER heard from your ex (dumper) again?


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....I'm just wondering... I highly doubt, I'll ever hear from my ex again...

 

Now, 7 months after the break up, I feel, the bond that connected us in the past, is totally destroyed, when I think of him now, he feels like a complete stranger to me, like a totally different person...

 

The person I used to love is long gone and the person he seems to be now, well, that is not a person I want to stay in touch with in any form...

 

 

Just curious to hear your experiences and opinions on this...

 

For the dumpers, what were your reasons for contacting/ not contacting the dumpees again?

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My ex and her 'rebound' are going on 2 years together now. I haven't heard from her for quite a long time now...and maybe never again going forward...

 

How could one answer that I never heard from my ex ever again when tomorrow is a new day and maybe you will..?

 

It is a pointless excersise and your energy is better spent on yourself and what YOU are going to do for the next few days/weeks/years...*

 

Also, from what I've read about those who DO have to remain in contact because of kids, business, property etc, we should count our blessings....*

 

((Destiny))

K2* 8)

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well i havent heard from my ex since he moved out in january. then again, i did change my number, block him from emails and facebook. and i havent been in touch with him. i get what you mean about feeling the bond is broken, when i think of him i dont feel like i know him anymore. im sure if i saw him i'd feel something, but it would be some kind of weirdness that there used to be a connection, not the former connection itself.

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My ex and her 'rebound' are going on 2 years together now. I haven't heard from her for quite a long time now...and maybe never again going forward...

 

How could one answer that I never heard from my ex ever again when tomorrow is a new day and maybe you will..?

 

It is a pointless excersise and your energy is better spent on yourself and what YOU are going to do for the next few days/weeks/years...*

 

Also, from what I've read about those who DO have to remain in contact because of kids, business, property etc, we should count our blessings....*

 

((Destiny))

K2* 8)

 

Of course, no one can predict what the future holds. By "never" I meant, from the breakup (which may be several months or even several years ago) until this day...

 

But you are right, each and every case is different and not really comparable...

 

This question just came to my mind, since I have read several posts here on ENA, about people, who's ex's (dumpers) reached out to them again one day and I got curious in how many cases dumpess haven't heard from their dumpers again...

 

... it just feels weird still that once you shared so much with the other person and then suddenly there is nothing at all that connects you anymore, as if you have never met them, never known them at all.... probably it's for the best like this, I don't know...

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i get what you mean about feeling the bond is broken, when i think of him i dont feel like i know him anymore. im sure if i saw him i'd feel something, but it would be some kind of weirdness that there used to be a connection, not the former connection itself.

 

Yes, exactly...it probably would feel really weird. In a way, you knew this person inside out, but on the other hand, after so much time apart and after all that had happened, you don't know them at all anymore... it's good that I don't have a chance to accidently run into him...I wouldn't even know what to say and I guess, he wouldn't know either... it would be a really odd situation...

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After an 8 year relationship that ended in October of 2007, I've heard from my Ex ONCE in the time since I left. He called in April of 2008 to tell me he would no longer pay for my medical insurance (the ONLY thing I asked of him), because he had bought a new car and needed the money.

 

So in the 3+ years after the break up of an 8 year relationship, I've heard from him once... I will never understand how you can share 8 years of your life with someone and then never talk to you again.

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It's been 5 months NC and 6 months post break-up. Haven't heard from my ex. At this point, I'm fine with that. And I say that not out of bitterness.

 

The person I used to love is long gone and the person he seems to be now, well, that is not a person I want to stay in touch with in any form...

 

This is exactly what keeps me going, eliminates any urge to try to find out what he's up to (as we have mutual friends), and helps me stay NC. I've accepted that the person I loved (and loved me) no longer exists. I saw him change during the last few months of our relationship. I have no reason/need to try to hold on to that past or try to find that person because he doesn't exist anymore. I have zero interest in knowing who he is now. I figure if I see him now, it will only remind me of the person he was. And why would I want to put myself through that grief?

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....I'm just wondering... I highly doubt, I'll ever hear from my ex again...

 

Now, 7 months after the break up, I feel, the bond that connected us in the past, is totally destroyed, when I think of him now, he feels like a complete stranger to me, like a totally different person...

 

The person I used to love is long gone and the person he seems to be now, well, that is not a person I want to stay in touch with in any form...

 

 

Just curious to hear your experiences and opinions on this...

 

For the dumpers, what were your reasons for contacting/ not contacting the dumpees again?

 

I had an ex ,well a guy i went with for few month and i seen him with his girl (never thought he had a girfriend ) at a party .....we had a fight and never talked to each ther again....he never spoke to me again and i was lucky i was not in love with him,i liked him but did nto love him......its not the same ex ,the one i still love.....the one i still love still wants to sleep with me and stuff......its hard....just think of him as a scum,i do not know why he could be so harsh....to me your ex is the cruelest person.

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I was with my ex for 7 years and from the moment she broke up with me I have yet to hear a single word from her. Its been roughly 7-8 months now since the breakup and I've heard NOTHING.

 

Its a very strange feeling no doubt. Especially since we shared a life together for 7 years and now it all just feels like it was a dream.. Just a memory I suppose..

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The only time I've never heard again from an ex was when I was 18 years old. We had been living together for a few months, and I found out he was cheating with my "best" friend. He moved out, and I never heard a word from him again. When I found out years later that he'd gone on to marry her sister and ended up an alcoholic on drugs, I was quite glad for this.

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I have never heard from any of my exes who at the time meant a lot to me. My ex that cheated on me 3 years ago (who stayed in the same social circle as me) still treats me like I don't exist. My last ex who I am still getting over quickly got into another relationship after saying he no longer wanted one and then moved thousands of miles away. I know it's all for the best. They are all exes for a reason, I just wonder why they all try to wipe me completely from their life like I meant nothing to them.

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I have never heard from any of my exes who at the time meant a lot to me. My ex that cheated on me 3 years ago (who stayed in the same social circle as me) still treats me like I don't exist. My last ex who I am still getting over quickly got into another relationship after saying he no longer wanted one and then moved thousands of miles away. I know it's all for the best. They are all exes for a reason, I just wonder why they all try to wipe me completely from their life like I meant nothing to them.

 

That's the thought that really hurts doesn't it? I mean I don't know if/when I'll ever speak to mine again, but he's been a ghost for two months now and even that is not something I expected...perhaps he is being sensitive to my healing or something, I don't know, he never said anything...

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My ex before this recent one...he broke up with me for the 4th time, wanted to get back together a week later. By then I had realized he was a jerk and it wasn't worth breaking up & getting back together again. He tried 3 times over the next 4 months to talk to me, the last two I ignored. He stopped trying after finding out I had a new bf (the most recent ex).

 

This recent ex...he talked to me after 2 weeks, really upset, saying he was a jerk and didnt deserve, asking if I was still in love with him, and blah blah. He did that 2 nights straight. A month after that, we talked every day for a week after he said he couldn't imagine thinking about me with another guy. ANOTHER month later, he prank called me once, we ended up hanging out one night, talked almost every day for a week, and then...nothing. This takes us to January. And I haven't had a conversation with him in almost 2 months now. I decided this is crap. Now I don't want to see him, talk to him, or think about getting back with him. He really is indecisive, and I don't need that.

 

To the point: lol all of my ex's have talked to me after breaking up. Idk.

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Strangely enough, I'm actually friends with all my ex's. With most of them it has actually been a few years down the line when a friendship was formed. I have not wanted to reconcile with most of them, two wanted to reconcile with me, the rest felt the same way I did. I don't have tons of ex's but the ones I do have (apart from this most recent one who won't speak to me anymore.) half got back in touch with me and the others I contacted a few years later. With one in particular, many years ago now I was quite excited when he contacted me after two years. But boy had both of us changed! I met up with him and didn't find him the least bit attractive or compatible. Very funny!

 

I have a friend of mine at the moment though who is 1 year out of a divorce. She still loves her ex-husband but the other day he apparently walked slowly straight past her in a busy high street as if she was a complete stranger.

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Also, from what I've read about those who DO have to remain in contact because of kids, business, property etc, we should count our blessings....*

 

((Destiny))

K2* 8)

 

Im in contact because of my son, she has a new guy after 3 months....IT'S HELL....coutn your lucky stars when you never hear from them again!!!!!!!

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^^^Exactly Jonesy. Everyone should heed that, and I for one AM extremely grateful that we never had those kids she used to tell me she wanted!

I will never understand how you can share 8 years of your life with someone and then never talk to you again.

Yeh. Look, bottom line is, breakups are hard and they suck big time. There is no easy way through it...

 

But it is where we gain strength and knowledge*

 

Stay Up Everyone*

K2* 8)

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I have a few exs I have never heard from again, but they were relationships where there was no love involved. In my love relationships the exs contacted me at some point no matter if I ended it or they did. I am still in contact with one old love and we are friends still. I am glad for the contact, since it allowed me to close the book on it, especially the really difficult breakups. In one case an ex who broke up with me told me he wanted to call, but didn't (5 years later I met him by chance in a parking lot) because he didn't think I wanted to hear from him. We had been friends for many years before we became lovers so it bothered me that he hadn't called me in all that time. I thought he just didn't give a damn, never occurred to me to call him as I was in NC(years before I new of such a thing). He tried to reconnect with me later but I was aloof and he had too much guilt so he gave up and I just didn't care at that point anyway. I had no interest in being friends with him. I think it depends on the people involved and how they felt about each other.

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Out o the three relationships I have had were love was involved I am still in contact with the first two. One I am actually great friends with, but those were break ups were mutual.

Of the last relationship which I am now 6 months out of, he only contacted me once and this was about 2 weeks post break-up, once he started seeing his new gf (which was around 3 weeks after he broke it off) he stopped any contact and hasn't contacted me since. I doubt he will ever initiate contact and I have come to terms with that for the most part.

 

Sometimes I wonder if I would even have anything to say to him if he did try to speak to me, he seems like a stranger to me now and I wonder if I ever really knew who he was.

The circumstances of our break-up will most likely not make for friendship one day which does sometimes make me a bit melancholy because I have been able to have such treasured friendships with two boyfriends from my past who I cared about so deeply.

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I will never understand how you can share 8 years of your life with someone and then never talk to you again.

 

Yes, this is what I find very sad, too I mean for several years, you shared something very special with the other person, you were the most important persons in each others lives and suddenly they completely disappear as if they were never even part of your life! I mean, only because our ex's don't love us anymore the way they once did, does it stop them from still appreciating us as a person they once cared for?!

 

Well, who knows their reasons, maybe it's guilt for having hurt us, maybe fear, maybe cowardice, maybe the respect of our wish for healing, maybe it's their new relationship or maybe it's the simple fact that they have moved on with their lives and don't look back at all anymore and leave the past completely behind...

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only spoke to my ex once in 18 months. that was when she saw me in a bar about a 14 months ago. she has seen me in public a few times but never bothered coming over to say anything. now she is going out with someone who she was a bit 'friendly' with when we were going out and she claimed nothing was going on back then. i think now she has fully moved on and she knows that i know she had eyes on him back then. probably worried i will kick off. dumpers can just walk away because by the time they have dumped you they have been thinking about it for a while

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That's the thought that really hurts doesn't it? I mean I don't know if/when I'll ever speak to mine again, but he's been a ghost for two months now and even that is not something I expected...perhaps he is being sensitive to my healing or something, I don't know, he never said anything...

 

Absolutely! I mean if it was a healthy and good relationship with no abuse, cheating or other major issues, I don't really get, why ex's decided to completely ignore us ("forever")! As if we did something bad to them and therefore don't deserve any more contact from their side... but probably it's the easiest way for them to handle things, they don't have to justify themselves, they don't have to explain anything, they just move on and continue their lives as if nothing had happened... maybe they don't even know what they should tell us... well, in my case, just a simple apology for having treated me the way he did, would be highly appreaciated ... but I guess, this won't happen anyways... I guess, my ex doesn't even see anything wrong in the way he ended things with me... that's sad

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