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Thread: When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

  1. #1
    lerira
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    Lightbulb When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

    In the past, a few of my girlfriends would say, "You deserve better," in reference to some of the guys I've dated. So, for example, if they'd think I was 5 points higher up the physical scale, then they'd say, "But you deserve better! Come on!"

    Although this "You deserve better" is quite subjective, I'm curious to know what were the reasons behind your friends' "you deserve better".


    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.

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    SapphireNoir10
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    Some of my friends can be shallow and have told me im too good looking for some of the guys I've dated. I always laugh it off. Im not a surface value person I dont believe in points/leagues/levels. I just believe in meeting someone you like and going for it.

    sometimes they've said 'you deserve better' when a bf has been making me miserable and thats fair enough.

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    karvala
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    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.
    Personally I think the idea that a good looking woman should be bought by a wealthy man, otherwise she's somehow selling herself short, is utterly distasteful. She might as well be honest about it and stand on a street corner in that case.

    That's without even getting into the notion of "deserve" in that context. There is only one situation in which I would say someone deserves better, and that's when their partner's behaviour falls significantly short of their own on a consistent basis. Money, looks, education, status or anything else has nothing to do with it IMO.

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    Ariel85
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    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.

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    cursedgirl
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    friends always say nice things to you.they never tell you they are out of your league.

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    lerira
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel85 [Register to see the link]
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!

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    Sparkly Eyes

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    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".

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    imoutfront
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    If there was a 'like' button, I'd use it on this.

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    Fudgie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    Agree with this. Keep going down that road and you won't ever be happy. I can think of quite a few devastatingly beautiful people in my life (women) who can't find any worthy partners because they are so focused on superficial traits. They are trite, boring, and insecure in the end. They are unhappily single.

    Anyway, I usually took "you deserve better" to mean "you deserve a better boyfriend/girlfriend in terms of treatment". I did not take it to mean much about looks.

    In my mind, what makes a boyfriend "better" than another is who they are as a person. Not how they look. If you're sexually attracted to them, who cares?

    But you seem to be very preoccupied with what others think about you, so how pretty your guy is may be of the utmost importance if you care about the trivial thoughts of others.

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    Ariel85
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    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!
    Uh, no, my friends don't engage in such infantile chatter, nor do we humor each other. But, then again, I'm not needy so I'm constantly asking them for validation. Whatta concept...

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