Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

  1. #1
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    29
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female

    Lightbulb When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

    In the past, a few of my girlfriends would say, "You deserve better," in reference to some of the guys I've dated. So, for example, if they'd think I was 5 points higher up the physical scale, then they'd say, "But you deserve better! Come on!"

    Although this "You deserve better" is quite subjective, I'm curious to know what were the reasons behind your friends' "you deserve better".

    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
    Bronze Member SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12,018
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    169
    Some of my friends can be shallow and have told me im too good looking for some of the guys I've dated. I always laugh it off. Im not a surface value person I dont believe in points/leagues/levels. I just believe in meeting someone you like and going for it.

    sometimes they've said 'you deserve better' when a bf has been making me miserable and thats fair enough.

  3. #3
    karvala
    Platinum Member karvala's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.
    Personally I think the idea that a good looking woman should be bought by a wealthy man, otherwise she's somehow selling herself short, is utterly distasteful. She might as well be honest about it and stand on a street corner in that case.

    That's without even getting into the notion of "deserve" in that context. There is only one situation in which I would say someone deserves better, and that's when their partner's behaviour falls significantly short of their own on a consistent basis. Money, looks, education, status or anything else has nothing to do with it IMO.

  4. #4
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    2
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.

  5. #5
    cursedgirl
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    692
    friends always say nice things to you.they never tell you they are out of your league.

  6. #6
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    29
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel85 [Register to see the link]
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!

  7. #7
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".

  8. #8
    imoutfront
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    155
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    If there was a 'like' button, I'd use it on this.

  9. #9
    Fudgie
    Forum Supporter Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    15,045
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2249
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    Agree with this. Keep going down that road and you won't ever be happy. I can think of quite a few devastatingly beautiful people in my life (women) who can't find any worthy partners because they are so focused on superficial traits. They are trite, boring, and insecure in the end. They are unhappily single.

    Anyway, I usually took "you deserve better" to mean "you deserve a better boyfriend/girlfriend in terms of treatment". I did not take it to mean much about looks.

    In my mind, what makes a boyfriend "better" than another is who they are as a person. Not how they look. If you're sexually attracted to them, who cares?

    But you seem to be very preoccupied with what others think about you, so how pretty your guy is may be of the utmost importance if you care about the trivial thoughts of others.

  10. #10
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!
    Uh, no, my friends don't engage in such infantile chatter, nor do we humor each other. But, then again, I'm not needy so I'm constantly asking them for validation. Whatta concept...

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
"Fist bump" a girl you like?
This is a question for straight males: Would you ever "fist bump" a girl you like? There's this guy that I have a bit of a crush on. He's very
Woman's intuition
So a few months back I was going through my husband's Facebook messages and seen that he was messaging other women telling them how beautiful they
Is there a meaning to a girl saying one of your friends are hot?
I was just curious about this. I was messaging with a girl that I kind of know, just a causal conversation, and was sharing a few pictures. In one of
How to approach her
Hello there, I need some sensible advice. Quick to the point. There is a woman who lives near me that I've noticed for a short while. I see her
Coworker
I've recently started two topics on being attracted to a coworker. We are both women, she has a girlfriend and I am single. From the start, we have
So confused
Hi I am in need of some advice please. I have been single for a number of years by choice (last relationship was a very bad one so I wanted to build
Does she like him?
A male friend of mine recently started a new job and has started to have feelings for this girl at work who he says they get along well together. He

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My ex came back into my life after 2 years...
I dated my ex for 3 years. The last year I got pregnant and lost the baby 2 weeks before his due date. My ex was very cold and shallow. Never talked
Doesn't like my colored hair?
For the past year or so, I have been dip dying my hair odd colors w/semi permanent dye. I went on a date and I ended up liking the guy. My only
High School Graduation Gift Struggle - I need advice
the struggle is real - I don't know what to get my son for Graduation He has a car, phone, laptop and iPad, clothes. I am struggling!! give me
Why the person who dumped you isn't a terrible person.
Let's be honest with ourselves, Everyone goes through an enormous amount of emotions after being dumped. Anger, happiness, sadness, etc. You know
Should I continue talking to this Senior Military Academy Cadet ?
Hi everyone, I am seeking some advice regarding a continuing to get to know a guy I recently met. He is a senior at a very competitive and
Female friend is putting a douche-bag ahead of me.
I'll try to keep this short... We're both adults, I'm 25M and shes 24F, we consider each-other best-friends and this isn't a date proposal. About
husband has huge lieing problem help.
Hi I am a mother of two my husband has a really bad lieing problem also a phone addiction I just recently learned that he has been on porn sites
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •