Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

  1. #1
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    28
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female

    Lightbulb When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

    In the past, a few of my girlfriends would say, "You deserve better," in reference to some of the guys I've dated. So, for example, if they'd think I was 5 points higher up the physical scale, then they'd say, "But you deserve better! Come on!"

    Although this "You deserve better" is quite subjective, I'm curious to know what were the reasons behind your friends' "you deserve better".


    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
    Super Moderator SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    11,958
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    112
    Some of my friends can be shallow and have told me im too good looking for some of the guys I've dated. I always laugh it off. Im not a surface value person I dont believe in points/leagues/levels. I just believe in meeting someone you like and going for it.

    sometimes they've said 'you deserve better' when a bf has been making me miserable and thats fair enough.

  3. #3
    karvala
    Platinum Member karvala's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.
    Personally I think the idea that a good looking woman should be bought by a wealthy man, otherwise she's somehow selling herself short, is utterly distasteful. She might as well be honest about it and stand on a street corner in that case.

    That's without even getting into the notion of "deserve" in that context. There is only one situation in which I would say someone deserves better, and that's when their partner's behaviour falls significantly short of their own on a consistent basis. Money, looks, education, status or anything else has nothing to do with it IMO.

  4. #4
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    1
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.

  5. #5
    cursedgirl
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    692
    friends always say nice things to you.they never tell you they are out of your league.

  6. #6
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    28
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel85 [Register to see the link]
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!

  7. #7
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".

  8. #8
    imoutfront
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    155
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    If there was a 'like' button, I'd use it on this.

  9. #9
    Fudgie
    Forum Supporter
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    14,105
    Thanked
    1334
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    Agree with this. Keep going down that road and you won't ever be happy. I can think of quite a few devastatingly beautiful people in my life (women) who can't find any worthy partners because they are so focused on superficial traits. They are trite, boring, and insecure in the end. They are unhappily single.

    Anyway, I usually took "you deserve better" to mean "you deserve a better boyfriend/girlfriend in terms of treatment". I did not take it to mean much about looks.

    In my mind, what makes a boyfriend "better" than another is who they are as a person. Not how they look. If you're sexually attracted to them, who cares?

    But you seem to be very preoccupied with what others think about you, so how pretty your guy is may be of the utmost importance if you care about the trivial thoughts of others.

  10. #10
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!
    Uh, no, my friends don't engage in such infantile chatter, nor do we humor each other. But, then again, I'm not needy so I'm constantly asking them for validation. Whatta concept...

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
20 year old wanting an older man
I'm 20 years old and I recently got a job that I will start next August. There is a 30 year old man that works there that I am attracted to. I want
what possesed me to do that??
Why is flirting so complicated? no luck if you do or don't. I told my crush how I felt, now its painfully awkward. I cant take it, too awkward. All I
Did I come on too strong? 21 (F) & 23 (M) SUPER LONG
I met this guy a few weeks ago. He came to my birthday and he really took an interest in me. He was a friend of a friend, so I guess not a total
Co-worker acting really weird (what's her deal?)
I have a new co-worker since a couple of months. When I met her my long term relationship had been slowly dying for months, maybe longer. She was
Met anew amazing woman/single mother who doesn't have much free time
Met the most amazing woman a couple months ago at my nieces baseball game. From the moment we saw each other we both turned into ""....lol After
Am I reading too much into this?
I'm going to try to make this as short as possible, but there's a lot of info here, so I apologize for that in advance. I am a late 20-something
This is very frustrating!
A little introduction I am a 20 year old guy, I am handsome, open and a fun guy to be around. So I started following that girl on instagram (lets

Featured Threads
He took my sisters virginity!
Well.. Here goes nothing. I don't have anyone to talk to and hoping to get some insight. My mind is confused and my heart is completely
Dating after working in the sex industry
Hey all, I'm coming out of a difficult time in my life where i worked as a sex worker. I just wanted some opinions on how to handle this when I begin
My boyfriend hangs out one on one with his ex am I right to feel uncomfortable?
Hi everyone, I posted here before about how my boyfriend and his ex are close friends. Long story short, they date for two years, realised they were
What does this mean?
I'm a 24 year old man and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 years. But I'm feeling like this relationship is built on blind trust
Is this just "The 21st Century Woman?"
For the past 5 years, every woman I've dated (ages 25-32 we'll say) has had to stress to me immediately, before anything gets going, that they are
Venting I guess... I miss having sex.
So... I don't know if there is any real advice that can be given here. But I'm sure people here can at least relate and maybe share their
My boyfriend curses at me but says he's joking?
Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months and while everything has been great so far except that he curses at me but says
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •