Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

  1. #1
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    29
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female

    Lightbulb When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

    In the past, a few of my girlfriends would say, "You deserve better," in reference to some of the guys I've dated. So, for example, if they'd think I was 5 points higher up the physical scale, then they'd say, "But you deserve better! Come on!"

    Although this "You deserve better" is quite subjective, I'm curious to know what were the reasons behind your friends' "you deserve better".

    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
    Bronze Member SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12,018
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    169
    Some of my friends can be shallow and have told me im too good looking for some of the guys I've dated. I always laugh it off. Im not a surface value person I dont believe in points/leagues/levels. I just believe in meeting someone you like and going for it.

    sometimes they've said 'you deserve better' when a bf has been making me miserable and thats fair enough.

  3. #3
    karvala
    Platinum Member karvala's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.
    Personally I think the idea that a good looking woman should be bought by a wealthy man, otherwise she's somehow selling herself short, is utterly distasteful. She might as well be honest about it and stand on a street corner in that case.

    That's without even getting into the notion of "deserve" in that context. There is only one situation in which I would say someone deserves better, and that's when their partner's behaviour falls significantly short of their own on a consistent basis. Money, looks, education, status or anything else has nothing to do with it IMO.

  4. #4
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    2
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.

  5. #5
    cursedgirl
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    692
    friends always say nice things to you.they never tell you they are out of your league.

  6. #6
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    29
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel85 [Register to see the link]
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!

  7. #7
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".

  8. #8
    imoutfront
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    155
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    If there was a 'like' button, I'd use it on this.

  9. #9
    Fudgie
    Forum Supporter Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    15,135
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2313
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    Agree with this. Keep going down that road and you won't ever be happy. I can think of quite a few devastatingly beautiful people in my life (women) who can't find any worthy partners because they are so focused on superficial traits. They are trite, boring, and insecure in the end. They are unhappily single.

    Anyway, I usually took "you deserve better" to mean "you deserve a better boyfriend/girlfriend in terms of treatment". I did not take it to mean much about looks.

    In my mind, what makes a boyfriend "better" than another is who they are as a person. Not how they look. If you're sexually attracted to them, who cares?

    But you seem to be very preoccupied with what others think about you, so how pretty your guy is may be of the utmost importance if you care about the trivial thoughts of others.

  10. #10
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!
    Uh, no, my friends don't engage in such infantile chatter, nor do we humor each other. But, then again, I'm not needy so I'm constantly asking them for validation. Whatta concept...

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
WHY didn't he tell me he has a girlfriend?
I liked this guy for some time now and texted him so we started talking, I felt like he liked me too and we were flirting back and forth. He seems
Why does he invite me out, then ignore me?
One of my guy friends I have known for years is super friendly and talkative when we are around our mutual friends. He sits next to/near me and
Can you help me?
This guy tells me over text things like: talking on the phone for 2 and half hrs is unusual for him, that talking with me every day is the highlight
Breaking the ice with facebook friends
From time to time I get facebook connected with guys I'd like to get to know better but I don't know how to turn that connection into conversation
At a loss of what to do.
Hello. So I have a female friend, who is also a co-worker. We've been friends for a few months now. I have developed a crush over her, since we
How can I get someone off of my mind?
I started a new position about 6 months ago and there is this guy that I used to see from a distance and thought he was attractive but then when I
No guy has said this to me before
I've been talking with a guy for about a week which may not seem to the average person but I feel that as if we've connected in a way I can't explain

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •