Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 38

Thread: When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

  1. #1
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    28
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female

    Lightbulb When People Say "You Deserve Better".....

    In the past, a few of my girlfriends would say, "You deserve better," in reference to some of the guys I've dated. So, for example, if they'd think I was 5 points higher up the physical scale, then they'd say, "But you deserve better! Come on!"

    Although this "You deserve better" is quite subjective, I'm curious to know what were the reasons behind your friends' "you deserve better".

    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
    Super Moderator SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    11,960
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    112
    Some of my friends can be shallow and have told me im too good looking for some of the guys I've dated. I always laugh it off. Im not a surface value person I dont believe in points/leagues/levels. I just believe in meeting someone you like and going for it.

    sometimes they've said 'you deserve better' when a bf has been making me miserable and thats fair enough.

  3. #3
    karvala
    Platinum Member karvala's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    2,904
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Also, do you think this 'you deserve better' can be equalized? Meaning, an average Joe, but wealthy, dating a model, but poor? The checks and balances system, I think.
    Personally I think the idea that a good looking woman should be bought by a wealthy man, otherwise she's somehow selling herself short, is utterly distasteful. She might as well be honest about it and stand on a street corner in that case.

    That's without even getting into the notion of "deserve" in that context. There is only one situation in which I would say someone deserves better, and that's when their partner's behaviour falls significantly short of their own on a consistent basis. Money, looks, education, status or anything else has nothing to do with it IMO.

  4. #4
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    1
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.

  5. #5
    cursedgirl
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    692
    friends always say nice things to you.they never tell you they are out of your league.

  6. #6
    lerira
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beauty Land
    Age
    28
    Posts
    398
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Ariel85 [Register to see the link]
    Why do the majority of your threads have to do with looks?

    There's plenty of other things to obsess over.

    "you deserve better" means they feel you are getting just what you actually do deserve, but are too polite to tell you so.
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!

  7. #7
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".

  8. #8
    imoutfront
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    155
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    If there was a 'like' button, I'd use it on this.

  9. #9
    Fudgie
    Forum Supporter
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    14,481
    Thanked
    1681
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes [Register to see the link]
    You are way too caught up in this whole league and ranking system. I would say that at 23, "you should know better".
    Agree with this. Keep going down that road and you won't ever be happy. I can think of quite a few devastatingly beautiful people in my life (women) who can't find any worthy partners because they are so focused on superficial traits. They are trite, boring, and insecure in the end. They are unhappily single.

    Anyway, I usually took "you deserve better" to mean "you deserve a better boyfriend/girlfriend in terms of treatment". I did not take it to mean much about looks.

    In my mind, what makes a boyfriend "better" than another is who they are as a person. Not how they look. If you're sexually attracted to them, who cares?

    But you seem to be very preoccupied with what others think about you, so how pretty your guy is may be of the utmost importance if you care about the trivial thoughts of others.

  10. #10
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by lerira [Register to see the link]
    Oh, my! You're a mind reader now, knowing exactly what goes on whenever someone says that. Guess when you're friends said that, they meant you are getting just what you deserve, or less! Probably that you deserve less!
    Uh, no, my friends don't engage in such infantile chatter, nor do we humor each other. But, then again, I'm not needy so I'm constantly asking them for validation. Whatta concept...

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Girls, do you find shy guys attractive?
I'm quite a shy person and going into high school and wondering if girls are maybe at all slightly attracted to that. I'm not very popular and don't
Mixed Signals from a Guy - Perhaps I am too long out of the Dating Scene!
Ok, so here goes............... There is this guy that comes into work about once a month, he came in a couple of times, polite hello/goodbyes and
I met an awesome guy in college but I don't know what to do!
So it's my second day at college, which is away from my home. For the first few days, the Freshmen are divided up into several small groups to do
Out of the dating scene too long
I need help, i was at a wedding last week and got chatting to a guy, we chatted all night and it was clear there was a vibe between us. he said he
Should I try to still pursue this guy??
I met this guy back in February, at the time I wasn't really looking for something serious, just wanted to find some people to chat with on this chat
So, this is weird
There's a guy who i know. We have a lot of mutual friends and meet sometimes, he does text once in a while generally. So we are on a lot of

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Weird crazy breakup
Here goes. We was together 4 and a half years, lived together for the most of that with her grandparents, yeah moved in pretty quick because of
is my bf racist? is there a future?
I am a bit dumbfounded and confused.. pls comment.. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. I look asian and he looks european. Things have not always
Great conversation but she Ghosted me?!
When I asked for her phone number, she kinda looked at me (the really dude? face). I knew it was over, but seriously it bothers me that we had a
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Wrapping your head around an incurable condition
How does one do that ? While my condition is not fatal it is incurable and my life quality will steadily deteriorate over time. Most possible will
My mom kept a secret for 28 years
I'm 28 years old, my mom always told me to not sleep around, said she never slept w anyone till she got married, etc. well randomly tonight she tells
Confusing relationship with ex
So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. There was a lot of hurt, I was really depressed for the first weeks until I got back on my feet and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •