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Thread: what color is my dot on okcupid?

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    ut804
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    what color is my dot on okcupid?

    lol I have always wondered what color my dot was on okcupid. you know, the dot that says how often you respond. It is either green (you respond to most), yellow (you reply selectivly), or red (you reply rarely/ very selectivily). I think my dot must be yellow or red, but I have no way of knowing unless someone views my profile and tells me. lol im sooo curious.

    so... can someone who has okcupid send me a private message on here and I'll give you my username so you can tell me? lol I'd appreciate that

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    ut804
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    and then I have another question.. does a person's dot color have any influence on whether or not you will message them? just wondering. Like if a person has a red or yellow dot, is that a good thing (like "oh this person is desirable and so i want to message them") or a bad thing ("oh I won't message them if they rarely respond"). hmm..

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    ut804
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    ok so I found out I have a red dot lol (thank you anthony). but i would still like my other question answered. just curious.

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    DrKitten
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    If they seem compatible with me, I would still message them regardless of dot color. I mean, why not? Worst thing that can happen is they don't reply for whatever reason.

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    ut804
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    ^^
    yeah me too.

    im just wondering if some people get turned off by certain dot colors, or for some i guess it makes no difference.

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    anthony4
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    no one with any level of confidence would get turned off, or "afraid" of sending a message to another with a "dot of a different color". all it takes is the right person, with the right persona, to go for it, and to get a return message.

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    ut804
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    ^^

    "dot of a different color" that sounds funny lol.

    thanks for the input!

  8. #8
    slashcomma
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    As a guy who has done online dating before, I'm not really offended if you don't respond. If I write you and you don't respond (and if I know that you read the message), I just take that to mean that you didn't think we were compatible. If you don't respond and don't read the message, I assume that you're busy talking to someone else or not looking.

    Even if a handful of messages are sent back and forth and then you stop responding, that's not a huge issue either.

    If you have a red dot, or it says that you don't reply often, that just tells me that you're selective in who you want to date. You know what you're looking for. For me, and for a lot of guys, that's appealing. Sure it sucks if I see your profile and think that we would be compatible and you don't respond, but there's not really any harm done.

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    ut804
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    well its good to know there are some people who aren't that upset if their messages don't get responses. i always feel horrible to not respond, but then again i send out messages without getting responses. it just happens.

    and about dot color... I get a little intimidated by men with red dots (though my dot is red LOL), and green dots make me feel like i have a better chance.. but then again he would respond to EVERYONE though. so i feel best approaching a guy with a yellow dot. am I weird for analyzing these things and caring about it? lol

  10. #10
    slashcomma
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    I won't say that it's not upsetting when you don't get a response. But it is what it is. Hard to get too upset over a non-response. My bigger pet peeve is if you talk for a little while, say a week or so, and then communication just stops. If you've talked for a bit, I think you deserve a little bit more than just a sudden communication stop.

    I would say, at least for me, don't be afraid to contact anyone that's contacted you and you ignored. Say a guy contacts you, you don't think they're a good fit or you're talking to someone else, or for whatever reason you ignore him. But then a month later, you changed your mind, or want to try talking to that guy again. Don't be afraid to send him a message or a reply back. I'm the type of guy, I would send one message and if I got no response, I wouldn't keep harassing you. Doesn't mean I still wouldn't be interested in you, just that I respect your decision to ignore me.

    As for the dot thing, you might take a different spin on it. If you contact a guy with a green dot and he doesn't respond, then there's a very good chance that he's just not interested in you. But a guy with a red dot, if he doesn't respond, don't take it too personally. He may be talking to someone else, may be busy. Kind of look at it as, "If green dot and no response, mark him off your list", "If red dot and no response, mark him as a maybe"

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