Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: What does it mean to invalidate someone's feelings?

  1. #1
    KarlaW52
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    119

    What does it mean to invalidate someone's feelings?

    I understand what invalidate means, but could someone give an example? I've heard that invalidating someone's feelings is very hurtful, but how important is it? If someone does that to you, is it a breaking point in a friendship or any kind of relationship? Just having a hard time grasping the whole concept..

  2. #2
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    8
    Say a partner says something that hurts your feelings and when they express that hurt you dismiss their feelings as silly or infantile even though most people would also be hurt under the same circumstances.

  3. #3
    KarlaW52
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    119
    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Say a partner says something that hurts your feelings and when they express that hurt you dismiss their feelings as silly or infantile even though most people would also be hurt under the same circumstances.
    People have done that to me many times, and I think that feelings aren't really right or wrong.. because every person is different.. but would a partner doing this to you be a good reason to end the relationship? Or just if they did it repeatedly? I've heard people talk about how important it is not to do this to people.. would you agree that it's incredibly important in a relationship or friendship? I feel like people who do this have no consideration for others' feelings.

  4. #4
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,744
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    989
    If some I was dating did this to me, and I spoke to them about it, but nothing changed? It would be a reason to end the relationship.

  5. #5
    whes
    Platinum Member whes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The land of the ice and snow
    Posts
    1,171
    Thanked
    2
    Invalidating someone's feelings is basically giving them the message that their feelings or their reactions aren't noteworthy, aren't important, or aren't valid. It's a way of suppressing someone or establishing dominance by making their feelings or opinions inferior to your own.

    it would definitely, definitely be a reason to end a relationship if it happened again and again and again with no change, no matter what was said. It devalues that person's worth as a human being and that is never okay.

  6. #6
    KarlaW52
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    119
    Quote Originally Posted by whes [Register to see the link]
    Invalidating someone's feelings is basically giving them the message that their feelings or their reactions aren't noteworthy, aren't important, or aren't valid. It's a way of suppressing someone or establishing dominance by making their feelings or opinions inferior to your own.

    it would definitely, definitely be a reason to end a relationship if it happened again and again and again with no change, no matter what was said. It devalues that person's worth as a human being and that is never okay.
    Thank you for the reply. What about in a situation where someone has an irrational fear of their partner leaving them, etc.. if they have an irrational fear and no reason behind it, are their feelings still valid? Some people can be irrational but does that mean their feelings are too? Or can feelings not be irrational? Sorry I guess I'm just very curious haha.

  7. #7
    whes
    Platinum Member whes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The land of the ice and snow
    Posts
    1,171
    Thanked
    2
    An irrational fear is still a very real fear to the person experiencing it. It exists for a reason. The fear that your partner will leave you is usually based on past experiences of being left, insecurities about being alone, or maybe because you don't trust the person. All of those reasons, over time, can be resolved as long as they are taken seriously and treated as real.

  8.  

Top Threads
I want to tell her I like her
Hi I'm 17 years old and ive liked this girl for about 5 months now. I met her when I was 14 at a dance because my friend picked out a random girl and
The sadness and fear is crippling me
Hi, this is my first post post on this site. And also, english is not my first language, so please don't be too hard on me ;) I have this constant
Loss and the Inner Me Child
In lieu of therapy, which I might - probably - definitely need, I considered this forum as a way to anonymously convey my thoughts and feelings

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •