Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: What does it mean to invalidate someone's feelings?

  1. #1
    KarlaW52
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    119

    What does it mean to invalidate someone's feelings?

    I understand what invalidate means, but could someone give an example? I've heard that invalidating someone's feelings is very hurtful, but how important is it? If someone does that to you, is it a breaking point in a friendship or any kind of relationship? Just having a hard time grasping the whole concept..

  2. #2
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    8
    Say a partner says something that hurts your feelings and when they express that hurt you dismiss their feelings as silly or infantile even though most people would also be hurt under the same circumstances.

  3. #3
    KarlaW52
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    119
    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    Say a partner says something that hurts your feelings and when they express that hurt you dismiss their feelings as silly or infantile even though most people would also be hurt under the same circumstances.
    People have done that to me many times, and I think that feelings aren't really right or wrong.. because every person is different.. but would a partner doing this to you be a good reason to end the relationship? Or just if they did it repeatedly? I've heard people talk about how important it is not to do this to people.. would you agree that it's incredibly important in a relationship or friendship? I feel like people who do this have no consideration for others' feelings.

  4. #4
    Moontiger
    Platinum Member Moontiger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Chicago
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,732
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    977
    If some I was dating did this to me, and I spoke to them about it, but nothing changed? It would be a reason to end the relationship.

  5. #5
    whes
    Platinum Member whes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The land of the ice and snow
    Posts
    1,171
    Thanked
    2
    Invalidating someone's feelings is basically giving them the message that their feelings or their reactions aren't noteworthy, aren't important, or aren't valid. It's a way of suppressing someone or establishing dominance by making their feelings or opinions inferior to your own.

    it would definitely, definitely be a reason to end a relationship if it happened again and again and again with no change, no matter what was said. It devalues that person's worth as a human being and that is never okay.

  6. #6
    KarlaW52
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    119
    Quote Originally Posted by whes [Register to see the link]
    Invalidating someone's feelings is basically giving them the message that their feelings or their reactions aren't noteworthy, aren't important, or aren't valid. It's a way of suppressing someone or establishing dominance by making their feelings or opinions inferior to your own.

    it would definitely, definitely be a reason to end a relationship if it happened again and again and again with no change, no matter what was said. It devalues that person's worth as a human being and that is never okay.
    Thank you for the reply. What about in a situation where someone has an irrational fear of their partner leaving them, etc.. if they have an irrational fear and no reason behind it, are their feelings still valid? Some people can be irrational but does that mean their feelings are too? Or can feelings not be irrational? Sorry I guess I'm just very curious haha.

  7. #7
    whes
    Platinum Member whes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The land of the ice and snow
    Posts
    1,171
    Thanked
    2
    An irrational fear is still a very real fear to the person experiencing it. It exists for a reason. The fear that your partner will leave you is usually based on past experiences of being left, insecurities about being alone, or maybe because you don't trust the person. All of those reasons, over time, can be resolved as long as they are taken seriously and treated as real.

  8.  

Top Threads
Why do I get obsessive about partner's female friends?
Thank you for reading this post and please shed some light on why I seem to be this way... I find that men and other women automatically put the
Who should I let go? Please help!
I am talking to two guys in they live in the same state as me but I have yet to meet up with either one of them. The first one I met he was
Can somebody please help with this very small issue?
What does it mean if a guy says "I think I'm feeling you". And what should I say back.
I went from over sensitive to insensitive.
i usually give advice on here but i don't know what's wrong with me. ever since i was little i'd cry and become upset over the most smallest things
No more Mr Nice Guy?
Is there anybody that has read this book? Will it be vaste of time to read it? Since elementary I'd fall into the category of "mr nice guy". Up
Am I too obsessed with my signficant other?
So after having dinner last night with the girlfriend she pointed out that she feels like I care about her way too much and seem to be obsessed with
Am I a controlling BF for not wanting my GF in contact with her old FWB?
Before we became official, there was another guy involved which I didn't know about and found out on my own. They were very sexual (I saw the

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My ex came back into my life after 2 years...
I dated my ex for 3 years. The last year I got pregnant and lost the baby 2 weeks before his due date. My ex was very cold and shallow. Never talked
Doesn't like my colored hair?
For the past year or so, I have been dip dying my hair odd colors w/semi permanent dye. I went on a date and I ended up liking the guy. My only
High School Graduation Gift Struggle - I need advice
the struggle is real - I don't know what to get my son for Graduation He has a car, phone, laptop and iPad, clothes. I am struggling!! give me
Why the person who dumped you isn't a terrible person.
Let's be honest with ourselves, Everyone goes through an enormous amount of emotions after being dumped. Anger, happiness, sadness, etc. You know
Should I continue talking to this Senior Military Academy Cadet ?
Hi everyone, I am seeking some advice regarding a continuing to get to know a guy I recently met. He is a senior at a very competitive and
Female friend is putting a douche-bag ahead of me.
I'll try to keep this short... We're both adults, I'm 25M and shes 24F, we consider each-other best-friends and this isn't a date proposal. About
husband has huge lieing problem help.
Hi I am a mother of two my husband has a really bad lieing problem also a phone addiction I just recently learned that he has been on porn sites
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •