<> get your fat arse down the gym!

Dating a really attractive girl but she's let herself go a bit. I look at the photos of her on her wall from a year ago and she's smoking hot. The title of this thread is a joke but how would you seriously say something like that to a girl. I wouldn't stop seeing her because of this but it would be nice if she was slim and sexy like she used to be.

Do you work out? Maybe you could gently encourage her to join you for a run or a good workout at the gym.

I agree with Metro; have you tried inviting her to the gym or exercise with you? It's a very nice way of saying, and encouraging, good health and physique.

Simply saying "you let yourself go" without you working out as well is very hypocritical.

If you wish her to look something else than she looks right now she is not right girl for you.

^ Yep. Don't push your image of how she should be onto her. What if she's comfortable with the way she is now? Will you still be willing to date her then?

Honestly, I don't see it going off well. My fiance tells me to go to the gym but it's because of health reasons, has nothing to do with my size.

People tend to gain weight over the years. If you think she's overweight now, imagine what she'll be like in 5 years. Often, eating is a coping mechanism. It's not something easily fixed.For some it's an addiction, much like a drug addiction.

Obesity is related to infertility, diabetes, heart disease, and a whole bunch of other health problems.

Don't think that you have a solution or there's a logical way to solve the problem, there isn't.

Dating a really attractive girl but she's let herself go a bit. I look at the photos of her on her wall from a year ago and she's smoking hot. The title of this thread is a joke but how would you seriously say something like that to a girl. I wouldn't stop seeing her because of this but it would be nice if she was slim and sexy like she used to be.

 

So what do you mean by let herself go a bit. Is she morbidly obese or did she just put on a few pounds and no longer has a "smoking hot" body. The vast majority of people, men and women, do not have "smoking hot" bodies as they get older and things come up in life. Since you don't know her very well, you don't know what has happened in her life that caused her to gain a few pounds. A lot of women struggle with weight gain, then loss, then gain, then loss. The old trick of "hey, let's go to the gym or go walking or running because it is "healthy" for you" is such a clichéd way of implying you don't like the person's body. So many people here on ENA advise this tactic as a way to disguise the true feelings and intentions (you are not physically pleasing to my eye) behind the politically correct "it is for your health". Instead of comparing the before and after photos, why not just get to know her as a person.

If you wish her to look something else than she looks right now she is not right girl for you.

Uh, no, that's not a good motto to live by. Your looks change over time. We will all gain weight, lose weight, get wrinkles, become ill, etc, over the span of our lives. If a relationship can't persist through these things it isn't very strong to begin with.

I agree if your motive is health reasons and you are enthusiastic about joining in on getting in better shape that's fine. If slim is a priority for you find someone who is naturally slim and has an active lifestyle to reduce the chances of her becoming overweight. Of course it does take some women a long time to return to pre-pregnancy weight so if you see a family in your future decide how that squares with your priority as far as a woman's size. In my situation I think my husband (we are both in our mid 40s) should get back into exercising for his health but I don't care otherwise that he's put on a few pounds. I have a very active liestyle and have always been slim but wouldn't like it if he had the same priorities you do- would make me feel pressured and uncomfortable.

Good luck. This has never worked that I have ever seen. Trust me, I know.

Uh, no, that's not a good motto to live by. Your looks change over time. We will all gain weight, lose weight, get wrinkles, become ill, etc, over the span of our lives. If a relationship can't persist through these things it isn't very strong to begin with.

I meant if he is not happy what she looks like right now, he always want something else.

This weight gain happened over the course of a year. This isn't age slowly catching up with her or pregnancy weight. This can only be caused by a lifestyle shift.

How long have you been with her? It doesn't sound like a really long time. Some women put on a bit of weight when they get in a relationship because they are spending more time with the bf, and thus less time at the gym, because they are usually eating whatever the guy eats, and because she's happy!

You say you saw a photo of her... were you with her when she was at this "smoking hot" weight? Also, how much has she let herself go? Are we talking 5-10 pounds or something like 30? Also, how old is she? Women can face body composition changes into their early twenties (as in, they can still be changing from a girl-like figure to a woman-like figure).

I feel like I need an answer to these questions before I give advice on how to deal with it. For instance, if she's 20 and she's gained ten pounds over the course of a year, I say you've got to live with it. If she's 25 and has gained thirty pounds since you've been with her, it's an entirely different story...

I'd rather see a picture of the OP with the six-pack abs I'm sure he has. Right, OP?

I'd rather see a picture of the OP with the six-pack abs I'm sure he has. Right, OP?

hahahah! EXACTLY!!!!

hahahah! EXACTLY!!!!

But is no matter if he has or not. No matter how good shape one is, it does not justify demand other people got 6-pack, too. Same if there is belly full of beer. It is not other people business what anothers looks like.

It is not other people business what anothers looks like.

This is a bit over the top. It is totally your partner's business what you look like, lol...

This is a bit over the top. It is totally your partner's business what you look like, lol...

In an LTR I agree. But under six months? That's a bit much to demand...

You don't have the right to demand that your partner lose weight (at least not for asthetic purposes) regardless of how long you've been together. But it is your business.

This is a bit over the top. It is totally your partner's business what you look like, lol...

Actually it is not. I do not care what my bf looks like because I love his mind and thoughts. He can eat like a pig if he wants or continue be athletic, I could not care less...

I cannot honor people who says their SO to do this or that for their hair, make up, clothes, weight and blah blah... It is not my business what my bf wears, he wears what he likes and that is all what matters...

I love my bf what ever he looks like.. And that is true because one was bald.... yes... PonytailFairy falled to bald dude, lol... What one looks like is not others business... Anyone does not have rights to judge or demand, really...

Dump her... because she does deserve someone better.

Actually it is not. I do not care what my bf looks like because I love his mind and thoughts. He can eat like a pig if he wants or continue be athletic, I could not care less...

 

I cannot honor people who says their SO to do this or that for their hair, make up, clothes, weight and blah blah... It is not my business what my bf wears, he wears what he likes and that is all what matters...

 

I love my bf what ever he looks like.. And that is true ecause one was bald.... yes... PonytailFairy falled to bald dude, lol... What one looks like is not others business... Anyone does not have rights to judge or demand, really...

 

There is a differene in demanding and genuinely be concerned. My fiance loves me at my size now but I know the reaosn he pushes me to go to the gym is for my health - not my body - but my health.

 

The thing is though we as humnans DO care what our SO's look like other wise you wouldn't have 'preferences' and 'certain attractions'.

There is a differene in demanding and genuinely be concerned. My fiance loves me at my size now but I know the reaosn he pushes me to go to the gym is for my health - not my body - but my health.

 

The thing is though we as humnans DO care what our SO's look like other wise you wouldn't have 'preferences' and 'certain attractions'.

I think that is something what I cannot understand. I would kiss toothless monster if I was in love with him but I do not still sex with my long hair bf even his ponytail is perfect. I admit that I am not average person :splat:

Do you work out?

If you expect your partner to be (x) weight, you should do your part just as well.

How much has she gained? How long have you been together?

While, you can't help how you feel and what your preference would be. You have to ask yourself if your preferences are realistic.

I don't know if you were trying to be funny with your post's title but either way, I'm getting a very strong tone of shallowness from this post. Agree. Dump her because she deserves better.