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Thread: no contact 3 weeks - my ex just text me....What do i do?

  1. #1
    Chestpains
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    no contact 3 weeks - my ex just text me....What do i do?

    Hi,

    I've not had contact with my Ex at all for 3 weeks now. Obviously I really want her back, but don't want to make silly mistakes hence the no contact. I told her I didn't want to speak to her for a while.

    Anyway, she just text me this:

    "I know you don't wana talk to me but I just wondered how much I should sell my geckos for :/ you dont have to reply. Hope your ok "

    What should I do about this? And is this a general question, or is it an excuse to see how Im getting on?

  2. #2
    whatatodo
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    Hard as it is, I wouldn't reply!! I am toying EVERYTIME I get a text from my ex whether to reply or not......... it's awful how much I do my head in when they come through........ it's a little harder in my case as we work together so work related things, or things I'd help colleagues with and stuff I have to think about whether I'd reply to them.......... but when he's texting me for no reason with no question, it's hard to know what to do.......... even when there is a question it's hard to know what to do.................. my instinct with you is not to reply......... as why should you be friends........... but then I know sometimes I reply to mine......... argh- can you tell the state of my head!?! Sorry to be of little help!! I know how hard it is though!!x

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    whatatodo
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    OR you could always reply with just the amount to see it for and that's all

    Don't like the way she's sayign you don't have to reply and stuff - it's like she's testing the water......... why should you help her out though!?! hmmmmmmmm - TRICKY!! IF you do reply, just answer the question, NOTHING else!! not i'm good or ask how she is! JUST the answer to the question.

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    RedDress
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    I just read your previous thread. Since you want to get back together with her (and she dumped you) - I think that you should respond - but ONLY with the answer to her question. Text back "$1.25" (or whatever price you think is fair). That's it. No chit-chat. No fluffy stuff. Ignore the rest.

    She needs to feel comfortable getting in touch with you (if you ever hope to turn things around) - but at the same time, you don't want to be her doormat or TOO available. You also need the space in order to move on.

    ... but... I wouldn't ignore it alltogether, personally. Just don't engage in conversation.

  5. #5
    whatatodo
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    RedDress, sorry to hijack chestpains thread, but in regards to my texts that don't ask questions just say things about stuff he's heard about me and fun comments about that, or thanking me for things, or saying he's cold somewhere.... am I right not to respond...? If they don't have questions.... when they do have questions, I'm just answering, but if he responds to that answer I don't respond...........

  6. #6
    Chestpains
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    Thats what I thought, just reply to the question.

    She knows roughly what they are worth already, as she was going to sell them before we broke up, failing that she could always google it! So do you think this was an excuse to "check up" on me. To see how I will react.....

    Im going to just answer the question...and keep it a 5 word limit

  7. #7
    BackToYou
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    She is definitely testing the water.. Been there, done that. Even though I am a strong advocate of NC, I would reply something short. If she wants to continue texting and conversation, remember to be cautious. Always reply short and sweet. Be ready to go NC if/when things are not going as expected. At this point remind her that you don`t want / can`t be friends and that`s why NC is the only option at the moment.

    In addition, ignoring all communication attempts from an ex is not going to be constructive way to get back together. I know it`s tough call to make a decision to reply or not but you have to go with your gut feeling. For example, if I did not answer to call from my ex after 10 weeks of NC ( i really hesitated to answer that call, I was doing fine at that point), I would have probably missed the opportunity to get back together for good.

  8. #8
    Chestpains
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    That's really sound advice, although I replied with the very minimum. So whats next, just keep going with the NC?

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    jonesyjakk
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    you just broke nc....you dont proceed you start again!!!!!!!!!! nc is nc.......lc is lc and contact is contact....make your choice and follow it!!!!! you just gave in to temptation.......!!!!!

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    ToF
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonesyjakk [Register to see the link]
    you just broke nc....you dont proceed you start again!!!!!!!!!! nc is nc.......lc is lc and contact is contact....make your choice and follow it!!!!! you just gave in to temptation.......!!!!!
    Sure, if that's how you want to look at it. Each situation is different, and not everything is black and white as you have implied here.

    OP, I don't think this is a failure on your part, nor is it a cause for distress or disappointment. It comes down to how you feel about what you've done. After you messaged her, how did you feel? Are you anxious, nervous, checking your phone every four minutes? If so, then it's possible you're not ready to be in contact with her just yet.

    Overall, I agree that the route you took was a good one, since you're looking to reconcile. She knows you'll at least acknowledge her presence, but you didn't do anything beyond that. Keep it at that.

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