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Thread: Why won't my ex tell me if she's dating someone new after years of us broken up?

  1. #1
    force
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    Why won't my ex tell me if she's dating someone new after years of us broken up?

    My ex and I broke up many years back and I would say I'm 75% over her and am actually very interested in someone new. My ex and I are like best friends now and still talk and text alot. I think she may be dating someone because she asked me to watch her cat for a week so she could go on vacation and just natural curiosity I asked her "oh yeah? where are you going and with who?" She got kind of nervous after I asked that then told me to the bahamas with her friend Morgan and her parents. Supposedly this girl Morgan is paying for my ex's ticket because my ex says she isn't paying for the trip. I then tell that it sounds awesome and that's a very romantic place and you should go with a girlfriend and she didn't say much after that. My ex then said that me and her were supposed to go on a trip sometime and that she was still wondering when.

    So anyways I ask my ex if this girl Morgan is her new gf and she said no that she was just a friend. I look over and there is a dozen roses sitting in a vase and I say your flowers are pretty. She says she bought them for herself because they were on sale for cheap. I was like what? Why would you buy yourself roses? But I didn't argue with her I was just like ummm.....okay. After that my ex then made the comment that I didn't even wish her a happy valentines day. I said I was sorry.

    My ex told me about her last gf when they were dating, but I was dating someone at the time as well. I don't know why she just doesn't be honest with me seeing that we're friends now. It's irritating. I don't like being lied to but I kept my cool and acted like it was no big deal.

    What's going on with her?

  2. #2
    abitbroken
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    She is not obligated to tell you if she is dating someone or not. I really would after this trip recommend someone else to watch her cat. Being around her just makes it that much harder for you to move on.

  3. #3
    Fudgie
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    I don't tend to tell old exes that I'm dating either, even if I'm in contact with them. What's the point, really?

    I agree with abitbroken. She is not obligated to tell you anything. I would try distancing yourself from her because it's obvious that you still have some healing and moving on to do.

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    force
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    It's just that we're pretty close so I don't know why she's being weird about it. It's funny, one day I feel completely over her and other days a minor setback, it fluctuates. It's been enough time though that I can talk to her and still move on. I never wanna do NC again. That was a nightmare and made me miss her friendship too much. I think if you have enough esteem and self-confidence in yourself though that even if other girls come along it won't matter cause you know your the top prize and anyone would be lucky to have you.

  5. #5
    abitbroken
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    Quote Originally Posted by force [Register to see the link]
    It's just that we're pretty close so I don't know why she's being weird about it. It's funny, one day I feel completely over her and other days a minor setback, it fluctuates.
    All the more reason to distance yourself. NC or low contact might make you miss someone, but you will come out of it stronger on the other side, with feelings removed. Low contact would be just contact to exchange things or if you and friends run into her and are cordial and small talk. Otherwise, you risk feeling all your life like you are just waiting for "an opening." It doesn't matter how confident you are. People break up for a reason. There are a lot of threads about people finding that remaining friends with an ex stunts their healing process. If they naturally connect after a lot of time goes on, so be it, but your involvement is preventing you from moving on. Though you say you've met someone, you clearly don't have your fill mind on the new person because your ex is in the back, or the middle, or the front of your mind. You don't have the opportunity to become close or "pretty close" with others. Some people would run away from someone wh is still hung up on their ex or has to accept the ex as a close friend.

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