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Thread: Attracted to older men

  1. #1
    2bExact
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    Attracted to older men

    i just can't figure out why i'm so attracted to older men like around 20-40?! it's sortof freaking me out because sometimes it's teachers, and right now it's a 30-year-old guy at my theatre who's married and has a baby on the way! He's just always so nice to me and we've spent a lot of time alone painting and doing construction work for musical sets... he always compliments me, hugs me and puts his hands on my shoulders, sometimes grabbing me in a playfull way like to try and scare me. i feel like he gives me special attention. he's good looking, and we have so much in common. he's EVERYTHING i want in a guy. it's scary thinking about it, but i can't stop thinking about him. obviously i would never tell him how i feel, but i guess i'm asking what i should do at this point because it's bringing me down!

  2. #2
    charity
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    whats your relationship like with your father?

  3. #3
    Jetta
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    How old are you exactly? And generally speaking it has to do with the father/daughter relationship.

  4. #4
    Tigris
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    I was going to ask that Charity. Secondly, how old are you? You tell us how old they are but not yourself.

  5. #5
    Fudgie
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    How old are you?

    There is nothing wrong with liking older men. I like older men and I have a fine relationship with my father. However, the difference here is, you seem to be going after teachers (authority figures) and men who are married/with children, so they aren't available to you. this is troubling.

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    Cognitive_Canine
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    Do you have a hard time relating to people your own age?

    The only thing I'd worry about is a teacher/student relationship where you can danger your future career and his.

    What do you look for in a partner? How are older men showing that they can give you what you want than younger?

    Also, fudgie is a great poster to talk with about this subject. She's been in both healthy and unhealthy age gap relationships and maybe you can relate to her =)

  7. #7
    thejigsup
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    I used to like older men who sometimes were in a postion of authority but most often were not. There was nothing wrong with me. As the years went on I still liked men between the age of 30 - 40. I still do. It had nothing to do with my father because now I do not want older men at all and haven't for many years. I still think men peak between the ages of 30-40 it is nothing more than that. That age group used to be older than me and now they are younger. Go figure.

  8. #8
    slacker4life
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    i dont think theres anything wrong with liking/dating older men, but if they are MARRIED especially with kids you should definitely stay away. believe me you will only REGRET being a piece of a** to them and nothing more because they will never leave their "crappy" marriage to be with their mistress. you will then be insecure in all your relationships thinking that you might also get cheated on later in life.

    dont do it youre only hurting yourself.

  9. #9
    In the Dark
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    I thought this was pretty common amongst women.
    But there are always issues pressures which do come with it.

    The older man can often feel like this is just a fling.
    Your peers will judge you and him.
    People will give both of you awkward looks when in public.
    Higher likely hood of having children.
    Higher likely hood of being married.

    If you can be sure of the above do not apply to you or the man there maybe a chance.

  10. #10
    LightbulbSun

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    I think, guessing by the OP's screenname, that she is 13.

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