Hi, I was just wondering: Is it okay for my boyfriend to have friends (that he calls friends) that are women in his cell phone?
One woman friend my boyfriend had was a woman he met on E-Harmony way before he met me. They went out on a few dates, but it didn't work out for them... Supposedly...
The woman friend (my boyfriend said) now has a new boyfriend... Yet this woman "friend" still sent him pornographic images forwarded to his cell phone. I told him that I was uncomfortable with it, and that he needs to stop all communication with this woman altogether. Because I feel that it's not normal for a woman... Who supposedly has a boyfriend, to be sending pornographic images to my boyfriend.
I told my boyfriend to take her off of your contact list from your cell phone and off of Facebook... This talk had been going on for seven months.
He told me that the reason he couldn't do it just yet was because he wanted to tell her over the phone himself that he couldn't have her as a friend anymore... Instead of just deleting her number as quick as ripping off a band-aid.
Also, he has two other women that he calls "friends" in his phone that I don't approve with. Both being women from work.
1) Is a woman that is very flirtatious with him, and tried to take his cell phone away from him one time in the parking lot at work, just to see who he was talking to (which happened to be me.) This incident was told to me by my boyfriend.
After what he said about this woman trying to grab his phone away from him, while he was on the phone with me, I told him "Why don't you just delete her from your phone then?"
He said that she's just a friend. I told him that friends don't do that unless they felt animosity or jealousy, and for someone at work that's very flirtatious to be in your phone's contact list is not right. He said, "Well, she's like that to all the guys at work."
I said, "Well, she doesn't need to be that way with you." And to please take her off your contact list. And he still hasn't
2) The other woman was a woman from work that my boyfriend said he thought about asking out (way before he and I got together). But he talked to her for a while and decided that she had her own issues that needed to be ironed out. Yet he kept this woman in his phone.
I asked "Him why keep her? It makes it seem as though when things aren't right between us, then you'll have a rainy day girl to fall back on. Please, take her out of your contact list. Because it makes me feel as though these two women are women that you have feelings for in a different way. And if you felt any sort of love and compassion for me, you'd take these women out of your phone."
He started to argue with me saying that I was controlling him and that I didn't trust him. I trust my boyfriend, but these women in his phone lead me to believe different.
His reasoning for keeping them in his phone is so that he could wish them a "Happy Thanksgiving" or a "Merry Christmas" once in a while.
We've been dating for seven months, have talked about marriage, and my boyfriend has been making payments on a lay away wedding ring. He comes over to my place often and I go to his often, plus he gave me a key to his place. I know he loves me and trusts me, but he's not showing it by erasing these women from his contact list from his phone.
What do you think I should do?