Sad Conclusion

Cycling to work today I thought it was a normal day.

I was wrong !

When I got there my crush (not a great description but I'll keep to it) walked into the canteen and said, ' before you start I want a little chat with you' - I asked what is was going to about and she replied, it was about her. I didn't know what to think, I thought maybe she was going to ask why I had asked her out.

So she comes back a few minutes later and tells me. She had been accused of having an affair with the boss. Two people had accused her. The Boss's wife and a member of staff. She said nothing was going on, she would never do anything with a married man. The area manager had got involved and they were transferring her to another shop. We talked a bit more, I told her I had heard stuff but I never believed it.

For the next 30 minutes or so we chatted on and off. She wanted to know what had been said so I told her in a vague way. She started to cry so I comforted her by putting my arm around her - I said 'don't cry' - I got a bit teary eyed myself. Then these 2 members of staff came in the warehouse and saw us. You should have seen their faces. I said, 'she is just a little upset about something'

Anyway we had another long chat awhile later. I told her people gossip mainly because they have nothing better to do and because they are jealous. I told her she was attractive so she got more gossip than normal. I told her to keep in touch when she leaves on Saturday. A few minutes later she said she was going to give me her mobile number so we can keep in touch. She said I was a 'very good friend' - I told her I was going to 'miss her'

So that's that. I feel so sorry for her and the way she has been treated. She is a wonderfull person and didn't deserve any of this. The gossip people are having a collection for her which I think is two faced. I think I will buy her a small gift myself. I'm not looking forward to Saturday; it will be really sad saying goodbye to her. I hope she keeps in touch with me. She is a friend on facebook so hopefully she will keep me informed on what she is doing.

You know, there is no smoke without fire. If it was just gossip that got her moved then I would be inclined to agree with you ... that she doesn't deserve that ... but the fact that the wife was one of the complainants (and the boss's wife at that) makes it very questionnable. Also the fact that they feel the need to move her means that they believe they have a very strong case. They wouldn't be doing it otherwise. They wouldn't move their staff around on hearsay or gossip. Surely it would be to much upheaval to move every member of staff everytime a rumour surfaced. Perhaps you are too emotionally attached to see things clearly. Whatever, I guess it doesn't really matter. There is no reason why you can remain friends but just don't get yourself drawn into something you don't really know anything about afterall, the wife of the person she is meant to be having an affair with must have good reason to believe that they were having an affair.

Hi, she is a supervisor and they are always moving around the shops. She was leaving in a few months anyway. The wife got involved because of some text messages on the Managers mobile. My Crush explained the Manager was sending her joke texts all the time. I believe her. Nothing was going on. She was crying, very upset, I don't think anybody could fake that. I think for sure the Manager was making a play for her, that was obvious. He is a leech and he has a done this thing before. Obviously his wife is a bit paranoid. I think my crush is the innocent party. Bless her !

I haven't really got involved. I spoke to my crush and nobody else. Of course I wrote it on here but that's what this is for. I never mentioned it to anyone else today. I keep my head down and my mouth shut.

I hope she gives me her mobile and we keep in touch. That would be cool !

I hate rumors. Theres a very good chance she is innocent. My fiance got charged at work for sexual harassment just for touching someone's shoulder while squeezing past her chair during a meeting. She claimed she felt "uncomfortable". Luckily he got off the hook but it ruined his reputation. If if this girl did flirt with her boss in any way people need to act like adults instead of children. This is probably the best move for her so that she can get a brand new start. If she stayed the rumors would only persist and worsen. The best advice you can give as a friend is for her to be very careful with how "chummy" she gets with men at the next job. meanwhile, continue to be there for her. It sounds like you two have the potential for a great friendship....or more!!

There are all sorts of reasons why she could be innocent of any wrongdoing, she could be the 'fall-guy' for some nasty divorce proceedings.

I seem to be an emotional wreck at the minute. I've just been crying upstairs in my bedroom. I'm dreading Saturday having to say goodbye to her. I just think I'm going to cry which will be embarrassing. Other people at work have left over the years and I never felt that much. Good friends as well.

Any advice ? Should I buy her a leaving present ?

I don't see why not or you could always ask to take her out for a goodbye drink.

I will buy her something small and hand it over on Saturday. After that I hope she keeps in touch.

Putter, you've worked through a tremendous amount of personal growth in the last month. This is just the next chapter. You found the courage to ask her out. It didn't turn out the way you'd hoped. Now, you can really move on. There are more women out there. Think of this as a really good thing, because it is. If anything were meant to be between you, it can still happen down the road. But now you can finally shift your focus, as she won't be around as a daily reminder, and you can get on with your life. This is a good thing.

Hi Rich - Your right about the daily reminder - it was becoming a problem. Maybe a more detached friendship with be better. Following her on facebook, the odd text etc. Maybe a meetup every now and again ?

I was surprized when she said I was a 'very good friend' - I never knew.

Just 2 shifts to go working with her; tomorrow and Saturday. I've bought her a little present (a parker pen). I also contributed to the staff collection and wrote on the card.

I think overall it is a good thing she is going. Hopefully my feelings will fade and I can focus on somebody else. That wouldn't happen if I continued to work with her.

I don't think I will ever change. Yesterday she was saying I was a 'very good friend' - today I'm wondering if I mean anything to her. No reason for such thoughts.

You make a good point putter. With her not around you all day every day you will be able to focus on other things and maybe other people! It maybe easier than you think.

Thanks Little-Blue

I'm still amazed how I got like this. Things just seemed to esculate from October onwards. Asking her out and getting rejected hasn't really changed how I feel. It's like having an illness of some kind. I guess Love is a powerfull emotion. It's like somebody has inprinted her onto my brain. I can't think of anything else. The first thing I think of when I wake up is her.

I think some walls were knocked down today.Firstly you two had some physical intimacy when you put your arm around her and secondly , she wants to give you her phone number ..This may actually turn out great for you.You have a prospect on the backburner while you focus on another prospect..Well done!!

It was really emotional today. We had this collection for her and at 10 o clock everybody except me went into the back. I was left on the till to serve the customers. We had gotten her some flowers, a couple of gifts and some chocolates. A couple of minutes later she comes back and asks to see me in the office. By the time I get there she is in tears. She then embraces me. (I've not done this that many times in my life !) My arms were around her waist, her head on my shoulder, She was still crying. I said all the right things this time. I told her everybody liked her and that's why we bought her so many nice presents. She then said something, I couldn't catch all of it. It was something like she's enjoyed working with me, it's been a privilage. She was still crying a bit so I spoke to her asking if she was okay etc. Anyway she got her self under control and I left.

A couple of hours later I went to the office again. I run a lottery syndicate and she is leaving it so I had some money to give her. I handed to her and she started to cry again. I told her that we can all stay in touch. She said again she was going to give her mobile number to me. I said 'I would like that'

Anyway our last shift together is tomorrow. I'm not sure I will hand over my small gift since I don't want to see her cry again.

Definitely give her the gift. Tell her that you will miss her at work and would very much like for her to give you her number as she suggested so you can keep in touch. Say that perhaps you can get together for dinner one evening soon.

Definitely give her the gift. Tell her that you will miss her at work and would very much like for her to give you her number as she suggested so you can keep in touch. Say that perhaps you can get together for dinner one evening soon.

Yes,you should do this!

ok I will give her the gift. I'm not sure about asking her out again. It was only a couple of weeks when she said 'no'

Presuming I get her mobile number, what do I do with it ? I've never had a woman's number before. What do I do, send a text every week saying 'how are you ?' ?

Thanks !

God awfull day !

The first thing she said was she hoped I wouldn't cry. I said I hope she doesn't. I then gave her my present. She liked it, said I was 'thoughtfull' - She then mentioned crying again and then actually started to cry. She rushed into the office to compose herself.

When it got time to leave I knocked on her office door. There was another woman in and she said, 'oh he's here now !' - the other woman left and I sat down. We had a honest and frank chat. She said she had enjoyed working with me, enjoyed chatting and winding me up. I told her I liked her because she had been very quiet when she had started and had bollosomed into a bright and bubbley person. She told me about when she started her confidence was broken after working in a couple of bad shops. She then gave me her mobile number and told me to text her and keep in touch.

We then hugged and I said, 'you know I think the world of you don't you ?' - she said, 'she did and that I was a lovely and genuine guy'

So I suppose she liked me but not enough to be my girlfriend. I guess that's better than usual.

So I've got her mobile number and are friends on facebook with her. I hope I will see her again !

Sounds good but for the time being,I would forget about her..As great as you think she is ,she did turn down your offer of going to the movies.Why waste time on someone who isn't going to reciprocate your feelings?I would let her be the one to intiate any phone calls/texting.

Oh I have no intentions of bombarding her with texts and stuff. She did give me her number and tell me to keep in touch however. I am looking at other women now and seeing her as a friend.

She sent me a message on facebook the next day - it said 'make sure you send me a text David' - so I did !

I see no harm in waiting a week or two and then asking her out for a coffee.

I've been swapping texts all day with her. She also wants to watch me play golf !

This isn't what I expected. I like it, it's cool. Even to be friends with her would be cool.

I see no harm in waiting a week or two and then asking her out for a coffee.

That is true..She has to be ''aware'' of her actions .She is encouraging a man who asked her out recently to send her a text.If putter were to ask her out again for coffee,it shouldn't come as a shock to her as she is encouraging it whether or not she realizes it..If she turns down the offer then I would not communicate with her that much.