Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34

Thread: How do you deal with nasty comments from toxic family members?

  1. #1
    dramallama
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,190
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1

    How do you deal with nasty comments from toxic family members?

    My sister's father-in-law and her husband pick on me by making nasty comments. The father-in-law tries to go in for a kiss on the cheek but I only do that with close family members and I do not consider him my family because I do not get along with him, so why would I let him give me a kiss on the cheek when he is disrespectful? Next time I think I'll say "A handshake is fine". My approach from now on will be to walk away when they make those comments, and try to limit any contact with them. I will be cordial, but my way of protecting myself is to shut people off.

    How do you deal with toxic family members' comments? Does anyone else feel uncomfortable with letting certain people into their space (a kiss on the cheek)? How do you reject that?

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
    Bronze Member SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12,018
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    170
    I'd just back away personally. And if he asked why. I'd respectfully tell him why.

  3. #3
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,482
    Thanked
    7
    What type of nasty comments?

  4. #4
    dramallama
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,190
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    I was introducing a friend on Christmas Day and he said that he was surprised that I had any friends. That was the first thing he said to me. It wasn't a joke at all, he just says things without considering others' feelings. I told my older sister what he said and she was appalled. He has been spoken to before about making sexual comments to us (my sister's family). He just doesn't get it.

  5. #5
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    32,532
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5869
    I personally find people I am not close to touching me or giving me a peck on the cheek kind of creepy. If he wants to be rude, there is certainly no reason to let him kiss your cheek. Just back away and say no thanks.

    I would also tell the husband and father in law you do not appreciate the comments.

    Why do they have nasty comments about you?

  6. #6
    savignon
    Platinum Member savignon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    41
    Posts
    6,094
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4
    You can say hi without getting close enough for a kiss. Keep your personal space open by stepping back or walking away. I kiss almost everyone (family/friends/friends of family) on the cheek like that so it doesn't personally bother me and I don't feel like they're invading my space. If I did, I'd be okay with stepping back or walking the other way after saying hello. If someone were particularly hurtful to me on a regular basis, I wouldn't feel the need to greet to them at all or attend events where they would be.

  7. #7
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,482
    Thanked
    7
    Whoa I make sure I have a pepper spray on me.

    Definitely don't go near him.

  8. #8
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    32,532
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5869
    Quote Originally Posted by savignon [Register to see the link]
    You can say hi without getting close enough for a kiss. Keep your personal space open by stepping back or walking away. I kiss almost everyone (family/friends/friends of family) on the cheek like that so it doesn't personally bother me and I don't feel like they're invading my space. If I did, I'd be okay with stepping back or walking the other way after saying hello. If someone were particularly hurtful to me on a regular basis, I wouldn't feel the need to greet to them at all or attend events where they would be.
    That too, I would not go to the event. I know you probably want to be there to see your sister, but I would arrange other times to see your sister.

  9. #9
    dramallama
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,190
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Unfortunately, I have to attend my sister's events because she's family. I love my sister's kids and my sister, but her husband and his family are just so inconsiderate. I can take a joke, but it's not really a joke if it's at someone else's expense.

  10. #10
    heart
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Brooklyn NY
    Age
    39
    Posts
    45
    Gender
    Male
    Hi

    I have toxic family members as well. The comments I read above sound very similar to comments aimed at me. I'm not sure why family members would act in such a way but I can say that I do feel for you, and I really hope that you try to not let it affect you long term. If anything try to use those nasty comments as fuel to propel you forward in life. Hope you feel better. All the best

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Possible CPS call? Boyfriend disagrees.
Had a recent visit with my partner's family and things have really taken a turn for the worse for them. The toilet/water AGAIN wasn't working for a
HELP! My mother won't take no for an answer!
My mother and I have just bought a house together for me and my partner to move into. So after we have decorated, I have told her we will take her

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My (ex?) girlfriend has anorexia and it probably destroyed our relationship - what to do?
Hello. I would like to tell my story. I am a 22 year-old male dating an 18 year-old female, though we have probably broken up today. This is
Question about how I should handle the finances in my marriage
I recently married my bf of 5 years and we are expecting a baby early next year. Since then I've found out some rather disturbing things about his
married now found out she cheated while we were dating Im so confused help
We have been married 2 years and dated a long time before we were married (16yrs) 5 years into our relationship my wife , then gf went on a cruise
Wanting To Be With Loved One In After-Life
Has anyone who has ever lost a loved one with whom they were extremely close and loved dearly ever thought about taking his/her own life so as to be
Does everyone have some positive qualities?
Since the day I had been dumped (got dumped in April and after all the failed efforts to reconcile, accepted his decision in mid July). I feel I am a
I it wrong to date my sister's ex boyfriend?
My sister was dating a guy for two month, and me and her bf start being friends until they broke up.....i have feelings for him and he also loves me
She left me because she thinks I'm dumb
I have been in relationship with this girl and moved to her country 3 months ago and lately things are going pretty bad and she is seeking for a
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •