Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 34

Thread: How do you deal with nasty comments from toxic family members?

  1. #1
    dramallama
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,190
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1

    How do you deal with nasty comments from toxic family members?

    My sister's father-in-law and her husband pick on me by making nasty comments. The father-in-law tries to go in for a kiss on the cheek but I only do that with close family members and I do not consider him my family because I do not get along with him, so why would I let him give me a kiss on the cheek when he is disrespectful? Next time I think I'll say "A handshake is fine". My approach from now on will be to walk away when they make those comments, and try to limit any contact with them. I will be cordial, but my way of protecting myself is to shut people off.

    How do you deal with toxic family members' comments? Does anyone else feel uncomfortable with letting certain people into their space (a kiss on the cheek)? How do you reject that?

  2. #2
    SapphireNoir10
    Bronze Member SapphireNoir10's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    12,018
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    169
    I'd just back away personally. And if he asked why. I'd respectfully tell him why.

  3. #3
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,482
    Thanked
    7
    What type of nasty comments?

  4. #4
    dramallama
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,190
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    I was introducing a friend on Christmas Day and he said that he was surprised that I had any friends. That was the first thing he said to me. It wasn't a joke at all, he just says things without considering others' feelings. I told my older sister what he said and she was appalled. He has been spoken to before about making sexual comments to us (my sister's family). He just doesn't get it.

  5. #5
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,666
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5294
    I personally find people I am not close to touching me or giving me a peck on the cheek kind of creepy. If he wants to be rude, there is certainly no reason to let him kiss your cheek. Just back away and say no thanks.

    I would also tell the husband and father in law you do not appreciate the comments.

    Why do they have nasty comments about you?

  6. #6
    savignon
    Platinum Member savignon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    USA
    Age
    41
    Posts
    6,094
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4
    You can say hi without getting close enough for a kiss. Keep your personal space open by stepping back or walking away. I kiss almost everyone (family/friends/friends of family) on the cheek like that so it doesn't personally bother me and I don't feel like they're invading my space. If I did, I'd be okay with stepping back or walking the other way after saying hello. If someone were particularly hurtful to me on a regular basis, I wouldn't feel the need to greet to them at all or attend events where they would be.

  7. #7
    The_Seeker
    Platinum Member The_Seeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    5,482
    Thanked
    7
    Whoa I make sure I have a pepper spray on me.

    Definitely don't go near him.

  8. #8
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,666
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5294
    Quote Originally Posted by savignon [Register to see the link]
    You can say hi without getting close enough for a kiss. Keep your personal space open by stepping back or walking away. I kiss almost everyone (family/friends/friends of family) on the cheek like that so it doesn't personally bother me and I don't feel like they're invading my space. If I did, I'd be okay with stepping back or walking the other way after saying hello. If someone were particularly hurtful to me on a regular basis, I wouldn't feel the need to greet to them at all or attend events where they would be.
    That too, I would not go to the event. I know you probably want to be there to see your sister, but I would arrange other times to see your sister.

  9. #9
    dramallama
    Platinum Member dramallama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    4,190
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Unfortunately, I have to attend my sister's events because she's family. I love my sister's kids and my sister, but her husband and his family are just so inconsiderate. I can take a joke, but it's not really a joke if it's at someone else's expense.

  10. #10
    heart
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Brooklyn NY
    Age
    38
    Posts
    45
    Gender
    Male
    Hi

    I have toxic family members as well. The comments I read above sound very similar to comments aimed at me. I'm not sure why family members would act in such a way but I can say that I do feel for you, and I really hope that you try to not let it affect you long term. If anything try to use those nasty comments as fuel to propel you forward in life. Hope you feel better. All the best

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
My mums boyfriend ( of 18 months) moved into our home after around 14 months of them being together. At the beginning he would be kind to me, buy me
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Do you have a strained relationship with a parent? How do you cope?
If you read through my previous posts (and please... you don't have to) you may find that I post about my mother lately who lives with me. She lives
Mother in law is coming in between
My mother in law has crossed the line and called me out of my name bc my husband wouldn’t do what she wanted him to do.But recently she has taken it
Distance Between My Parents. I want to push them away forever.
Distance does not happen all at once. It happens gradually. Bit by bit until you're pushed over the edge and you can't see a point anymore. I can
My mom is having affairs. Please help me asap.
Hi I'm a 17 year old girl.i have a sister who is 15 year old. Both of us found out about my mom having affairs 3 years back. This all happened when I
I'm Moving out of my parents house and my dad and I are really bummed.
I Am 26 and I have lived with my parents my whole life. I have never been away from home longer than 2 weeks. Today is the second day after I

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancé of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •