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Thread: boyfriend takes forever to text back

  1. #1
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    boyfriend takes forever to text back

    I'm really upset right now and I need to vent. At the moment my boyfriend Will has not responded to the text I sent him five hours ago. It was just "Hey I miss you. Watsup how was ur Christmas?" He does this a lot. way too often. and it reaaaallllllly gets on my nerves. I guess he just has better things to do than check his phone. It's not like he doesnt care about me, though. He's actually one of the most caring guys I've dated, at least while we're at school and together all the time. We're in college, so we basically live together. But even at school I spend waaayyyy too much time just trying to find his ass. So yeah, I love him, but he gets to be annoying as hell. Right now we're on break and I feel that there is a ridiculous strain on our relationship because I haven't seen him in like a week and a half. We can't talk on the phone because he uses prepaid phone cards and he's out of minutes, so I try to text him. I almost changed my fb relationship status to single today. I can't stand this. I'm extremely agitated and I just wish I could see him.

  2. #2
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    Hello Welcome to ENA!

    I'm not sure if you wanted a response or you're just venting - so I'll just respond anyway

    I can honestly say that I despise texting and often tell people that I am slow at returning texts. It has been a problem in past relationships - so rather than them getting mad I just sat them down and explained to them that to me texting is not very serious to me - and that me not responding quick isn't an indication that I don't care about them. I ask them that if it is more serious, they call me.

    You mentioned how your bf is very caring in other ways - maybe he feels the same about texting (i.e. he doesn't really enjoy it)? Is he the type that texts a lot when he is around you - or do you not see him texting very much at all?

    You should tell him how you feel (though maybe after you have vented a bit and are a little cooled off ). See what he says - he may really not like texting, or maybe it costs him 25 cents a text because he doesn't have a text plan - or who knows. But you should definitely tell him how it makes you feel before you change your facebook status! He may be very understanding and you two may be able to easily find a compromise to this.

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    Ha yeah I actually did want responses, thanks. = ) Yes I guess that the general connotation of texting is that it's not for serious conversations, but it's the only means I have of communicating with Will. And he does have unlimited.....somehow...I guess his parents pay for it. I understand your rational solution to the problem- talking to him will allow me to communicate my feelings about how important it is to me that he keeps in contact. But I dont know the next time im going to talk to him. See, this is what gets me so furious. I dont know if I'm supposed to come over Tuesday, because he never got back to me on whether his parents would allow it. Half the time I just have no idea what the hell is going on and right now is one of those times. All this negative emotion is diminishing my quality of life. But it's better than being single. Companionship is one of my needs that must always be met, or else i become depressive. Oh. I've just realized that I've been depressive ever since I got back from break. I've been sitting around the house watching tv. This negative emotion needs to be stopped. It makes me furious that I might have to wait until Thursday to express my feelings to Will. We are meeting up with some friends on Thursday and that is the next time I might actually get to see him. What shall I do in the meantime? I have to stop being upset, but I don't know how.

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    Hey Gebo513 I am glad you asked this question, I am in exactly the same situation with this person I have just started dating. First of all he always replies text within approx 8 - 24 hours after I have sent a text. Never replies my question and always digress. It is annoying as hell. Right now, he has gone home for Xmas holidays and I haven't seen him for 1.5 weeks. I have basically given up hope on texting him and would only text him if he texts me. In any case, since he is gone he keeps up with a text every other day but it's always really mundane stuff like "Just out with friends having drinks... Merry Christmas, missing home". Then when I reply he never replies back. Just the other day I was sick and when he sent me a boring text, I replied telling him that I was sick and just been in the hospital to get some treatment but was feeling better. You know what? He just ignored me and never replied. Who the hell does that when somebody just told you they have been in hospital???
    Anyway, my story aside, I understand your feelings and my advise is with some people texting is just not a good way of communication even if it is quick and instantaneous for us girls generally. I know a lot of people who have to turn on their silencer if they are at work or in a lecture? There are a million reasons why people cannot return text instantaneously. Plus you have to assess how important the question it is you are asking before assessing whether it took too long for your bf to reply. No offense but "Hey I miss you. Watsup how was ur Christmas?" sounds like a question, in which your bf can take a little longer e.g. after he gets home if he is in the middle of work to reply.
    The fact that you describe him as caring in general then you should be fine. If he continues not to respond to your texts like the way you want, perhaps there is another better way to communicate? Maybe texting is just not his thing.

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  6. #5
    Member guanyu4u's Avatar
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    Hmmm.. that feels like some ppl I know. Ur guy seems to involve himself in many things in life. Caring, can't catch him, don't reply frequently, my guess that he cares 4 u but he doesn't have time sometimes to talk to u through especially if he had disappointed u with not showing in time or reply in time which will take a long conversation between u both.

    If u still value the relationship with him, u can text him telling him that u know he is busy and wanted to talk to him but u'll wait 4 his reply. If he didn't reply (I mean more than an hour) give him a missed call and wait 4 him, eventually he would call u or show up and u'll talk things through.

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    I always feel bad when I hear this problem, because I HATE text messaging. I HATE it when I get a text message and I'm supposed to respond right away. Email is free and I can do it on my own time. I can write an email as long as I want it and respond whenever I feel like it. Text messages are short, careless, annoying, expensive, and demand me to write something short and meaningless right back. Of course, if I write a text messager a long email, they respond with two lines and a couple emoticons. It's annoying.

    Anyways, you know he's caring, so why don't you just call him once a day in the evening so that you can have a meaningful conversation?


    Happy holidays!

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    To me, I feel like if the guy doesn't respond back somewhat quickly, especially more early on in a relationship, that means he isn't all that interested in me. It really does not take much time at all just to acknowledge that you got a text and to respond back. If he is really busy and can't fully respond, he could have sent a text saying he'll talk to you later, but he didn't. The only time my boyfriend doesn't respond back right away is when he is at work and is busy. Otherwise, he'll respond back quickly. We tend to text back and forth a lot during the times when either of us are at work and can't actually talk. It's an easy way to keep in touch. I'd text him and ask him for his parent's home phone number, so you can call him again and actually talk. Then talk to him about how you feel communication is important, which it is. Try not to take his non-response personally, because he may have a reason, so let him explain himself when you get the chance to talk. If he doesn't have a reason, then you may really need to have a heart to heart with him.

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    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
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    Try going 3-4 months without seeing someone due to 4,000 miles. There are always worse situations in the world.

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    Platinum Member mfan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by generaldiscord
    I always feel bad when I hear this problem, because I HATE text messaging. I HATE it when I get a text message and I'm supposed to respond right away. Email is free and I can do it on my own time. I can write an email as long as I want it and respond whenever I feel like it. Text messages are short, careless, annoying, expensive, and demand me to write something short and meaningless right back. Of course, if I write a text messager a long email, they respond with two lines and a couple emoticons. It's annoying.
    Generaldiscord, I just wanted to tell you I empathize 100% with your troubles with text messages. I think they are invasive, too (you forgot to mention that). Even if you are busy with something else, or can't talk on your phone because it's too loud outside, text messages can always come through and you're forced to deal with it. And I also never text message someone if there is any other medium I could possibly use, because as you say, I text something with substance and they just respond "yea


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