"Creepy": The Most Abused Word By Modern American Women

Just stop. Okay? Please, just stop.

 

There comes a point when a word is used so much that it is drained of all its meaning, and this is one of those times. So, to all modern American women: please, stop abusing the words "creepy", "creep", or any variation thereof.

 

Simply because a guy is shy, reserved, or socially awkward, it doesn't make him creepy; simply because a guy doesn't understand all your little "signs" and "hints" and other idiotic nonsense, it doesn't make him creepy; or even just because a guy simply reaches out a hand in friendship, perhaps not in the most socially graceful way, it doesn't make him creepy.

 

A few things that are creepy? I don't know, say, a guy who (1) shows up at your home unannounced, (2) follows you around after you've straightforwardly told him to leave you alone, (3) flashes his genitals at you. You know, that sort of thing.

 

But at this point, any guy who commits even the slightest social faux pas is deemed a creep and cast out with the lepers.

 

So please stop. It's getting old. It's gotten to the point where, slowly but surely, I'm developing an acute distaste for modern American women; I'll say no more on that point.

 

But stop abusing the word "creepy." Please? This single post won't stop the problem, I know. But maybe someone will get something out of it and understand.

 

Happy Christmas morning.

Well I have to agree. It is overused.

 

I think the biggest problem is how many women use the word to describe someone they are not attracted to who happens to be showing interest in them in a harmless fashion.

 

It's basically a humiliation. I know if someone was tarnished by that word back in school, they would be tossed to the lower levels of the social heirarchy.

 

I can't stand the word, when used inappropriately (which is most of time).

LOL...I can honestly say I've never used the word "creepy" to describe any guy; not EVEN the guy who pulled out his well-endowed joystick and started stroking it while I was bending over to pick something up in an isle at Wal-mart. Sheesh, don't know what to tell you but I hope your situation improves. Merry Christmas & Happy Solstice! Peace, Love & Happiness

What happened

 

Did someone call you ''creepy'' is that why you are upset?

 

 

Annnnnd i do agree with you, its a rude comment to make and unless someone is really crossing the line (i.e. blatant stalking) then i would just say they are ''love shy'' or ''introverted'' and let them be.

 

 

Unless i liked him of course

There are probably women out there who do misuse the word, but there are also guys out there who are creepy. The word creepy does not have to mean someone who acts like a stalker or breaks the law to get close to you. There are men out there who are just creepy. They probably don't know about it but yes, some guys have that unfortunate combination of looks and personality that adds up to 'makes women uncomfortable'. Maybe they don't respect boundaries. Maybe they're slightly too touchy feely. Whatever, they exist. Being indignant about the fact doesn't change it.

It's not just American woman, it's all modern women!

 

And I agree, it does my head in. Every girl these days describes their ex-boyfriend as "creepy" and/or "abusive", so much so that I no longer believe it. Whenever a girl uses either of those two redundant terms to me I automatically think they're deflecting attention away from the fact that they probably probably screwed him over when they broke up. They either outright lie about it, or their definition of it is so ridiculous it defies belief.

 

I've lost count of the number of my female friends who describe guys they dated as creeps, it just means nothing these days. To me a "creep" is exactly as you described - stalking, pestering, inappropriate sexual advances - not just being shy or reserved or being hurt & upset after a breakup.

Finally someone has the guts to say it, I completely and utterly agree with

you OP. I was called this by girls sometimes and it was easily very annoying

and it's such a fail on their behalf, because the way someone acts - like if they

seem shy or withdrawn - can be rooted in negative things like coming from a

troubled home. But to many people don't understand and I think even more so,

might have this stupid fear of people who are socially awkward in some way, because

they let their imaginations run off with them - which means that if you're deemed

creepy, that of course must mean that you'd probably be one of those people

who would commit things like rape.

 

You're only just developing an acute distaste OP?

I've turned away from American/White women entirely really.

I'm all for Asian women... Of course the reason for that isn't solely

because American/White women might use the word creepy

I have to agree that 'abuse' is one of the most overused words but not just by women. It seems any time a couple has a disagreement, even a minor one, the abuse card is played. And it has got to the point where real abuse can be discounted because the word has essentially been devalued.

Perhaps you want to think twice about generalizing about "American women" if you are complaining that shy or socially awkward behaviors are too often generalized as "creepy". I know I don't overuse that word and I agree with DN.

Yah, its definitely overused. That aside, some people are creepy, and not just guys! I've met women who don't take no for an answer and consequently seem extremely creepy, or sketchy, to me. That aside, I'd never call someone that. Its common courtesy to be polite.

Hmmm...I used this term to describe a customer from my place of business who I saw at a mall one day...and who continued to follow me around the entire time I was there. I even went into a clothing store to 'hide' and he kept walking back and forth in front of the store looking in. From that point on he is referred to as 'creepy mall guy' at work when he comes in. He really is a weirdo.

You sound creepy

 

I enjoyed your rant. Well written. I suspect it will have little impact on the general population.

I'm sure the term *could* be overused, though it's not a label I would casually apply to someone. If multiple different women who have met you on varying occasions have all separately arrived at this term for you then I think you need to examine your own behavior instead of lashing out at all modern American women.

 

You say you have trouble with social cues, do you know if you have Asperger's Syndrome or similar? In other words it's possible you genuinely have difficulty in social situations and could benefit from some coaching or counseling on social interactions. Lots of very successful people have Aspergers (editor of NYT Music section) but they have to work very hard at deciphering social cues.

 

Good luck and Happy Holidays

Actually, I have heard or seen the term used, on here as well as other places, about men who are clearly not creepy but it is just that the women are not attracted to them. I don't think all women do it but there is a definite overuse of the word. The women who do it are usually immature.

 

Another phrase that is over-used or exaggerated is when a man is not interested in a woman who is interested in him and people call her a 'bunny boiler'.

Creepy:

 

A guy I used to work with, who used to ask for hugs all the time and follow me around my store. Even after I quit, he found me online, made a fake profile, and tried to hit on me.

 

Not creepy:

 

A guy that means well, tries to strike up a conversation or even flirt a little bit, but whom I am not attracted to. If he (or any guy, for that matter) has the spine to be that direct with me when I don't know him well ... then I call him a champ, not creepy.

 

Some people ARE creepy. I'm sorry you came off as creepy to someone, and had your feelings hurt.

Well, 'creepy' is no more overused for men than 'needy' is overused for women.

 

Words have a life of their own, and have no intrinsic value. And exactly what they mean depends on context and the sayers intention and intepretation. And the hearer's own interpretation is colored by their own perceptions and experiences.

 

For example, if someone is rude to me, i might call them a 'creep' in my mind, with creep being an all purpose term to express someone i don't like.

 

And 'creepy' might mean someone who makes your skin crawl, as in distaste for whatever reason.

 

It doesn't necessarily mean the person is saying the other person is some kind of predatory monster or deviant.

 

So i think in some ways you are really overreacting and have to take all language with a grain of salt. Your sensitivity to this might mean you are afraid of being a 'creep' (with your own interpretation of that being someone who is abnormal in some way), whereas many people just use it to describe someone they don't particularly like or think is a jerk.

 

And people are entitled to their own feelings and perceptions... and it is equally true that you don't need everyone to like you to feel happy and good about yourself... who cares if they call you creepy if you know you are not?

 

So i'd analyse why you're so upset by that word, and use it perhaps to understand that you need to do something about your self esteem and labelling people back (i.e., judging them so harshly just because they used some silly word).

So i'd analyse why you're so upset by that word, and use it perhaps to understand that you need to do something about your self esteem and labelling people back (i.e., judging them so harshly just because they used some silly word).

 

I love it...he's being accused of being something he's not, but it's his own problem.

 

OP, when you have a complaint about people, never let the people change the subject or shame you out of making the complaint. You're obviously right, "creepy" is incredibly overused, it's come to mean "someone I don't like."

John, I agree. I see this posted a lot. Personally, creepy to me is stalking, showing up without calling, pursuing me when I have expressed no interest or declined someones offer to go out. I do NOT find it creepy just because someone calls me often or wants to see me often or brings flowers to my office, etc. It becomes creepy to me only if I have done nothing to reciprocate the interest.

If someone gives me 'just cause' to call them 'creepy', then why shouldn't I?

Does someone asking me out and me not being interested make that person 'creepy'?

ABSOLUTELY NOT. I have respect for anyone with enough courage to ask someone

out who might reject them. Following, hounding, harrassing or making inappropriate comments

to someone you barely know IS 'creepy' behavior. This ALSO

includes 'leering' at and /or staring at someone who shows NO interest in you.

This goes for men and women!!!

I've only ever used creepy when they were GENUINLEY creepy...and only one guy I've ever dated I've used that term with, because he truly was.

The three examples you gave were two cases of stalking and one case of assault. We have words for that. Creepy is the feeling men give off when they aren't socially graceful. I know this is hard to understand but women have to deal with FEAR when it comes to men. We are smaller and weaker biologically. So when a female isn't reading social hints and clues she is just annoying (to men and to women) but when men do it it can be a little bit frightening for women.

 

If I am telling you with my body language and tone of voice that I don't want to date you. If I need to get to the place where I start avoiding you because I don't want you to ask me out or give me hugs or flirt with me when I feel like you should pick up the hint then your creepy. I'm sorry.

 

It's hard for people who don't get sublet social hints and that is rough I know (I have a handful of friends who don't handle themselves well in social settings they can't tell when your bored or when they are dominating the conversation or when they are hitting on someone in a way that is making them uncomfortable) but you either need to find friends who don't care or work on reading people better.

 

I'm sorry the word bugs you. Words do make the world there is a whole list I have that really bug me ("red flag" are we playing football or in a relationship? "Toxic" do we really need to describe people as if they are chemical spills what good is that? "triggered" or as I like to call it "I'm not responsible for my own actions because you/it/that made me do it") but what I do is work on not using the words myself and explaining to the people around me why I don't use them and try to find words that better define the feeling.

Creepy is the feeling men give off when they aren't socially graceful. I know this is hard to understand but women have to deal with FEAR when it comes to men. We are smaller and weaker biologically. So when a female isn't reading social hints and clues she is just annoying (to men and to women) but when men do it it can be a little bit frightening for women.

 

Okay. That's fine. And I've often tried to reassure myself by reminding myself of what you mention here.

 

I guess I'm just fed up. Fed up with walking on egg shells around fearful people. Fed up with wondering if a girl accross the room thinks I'm weird, or even going to hurt her, if I look at her wrong because of my social anxiety. Fed up with constantly feeling like I'm "suspicious" because I'm not the smoothest guy ever.

 

I'm better off by myself.

Okay. That's fine. And I've often tried to reassure myself by reminding myself of what you mention here.

 

I guess I'm just fed up. Fed up with walking on egg shells around fearful people. Fed up with wondering if a girl accross the room thinks I'm weird, or even going to hurt her, if I look at her wrong because of my social anxiety. Fed up with constantly feeling like I'm "suspicious" because I'm not the smoothest guy ever.

 

I'm better off by myself.

Don't think like that. There are some women who use that word unjustifiably but it is usually ones who are fairly nasty and follow the crowd to make themselves feel better. I know some people think no woman would act like that without justification but not all women are good natured. Don't let people convince you it is your fault for their immaturity.

I'm with John. I've even started to believe that I AM creepy, simply because people act differently around me than other guys.

 

Calling someone a creep for simply having low self esteem, or not being "Joe Suave", is ridiculous. Because it will only lower their self esteem, which will make them more socially awkward or afraid of offending someone, which will lead them to being even further from the goal, and etc.

 

Women, before you call someone a creep, please put yourself in his shoes. Hurting someone who loves you, for whatever reason, is unacceptable. It will just lead to more bitter and jaded men.

I'm with John. I've even started to believe that I AM creepy, simply because people act differently around me than other guys.

 

Calling someone a creep for simply having low self esteem, or not being "Joe Suave", is ridiculous. Because it will only lower their self esteem, which will make them more socially awkward or afraid of offending someone, which will lead them to being even further from the goal, and etc.

 

Women, before you call someone a creep, please put yourself in his shoes. Hurting someone who loves you, for whatever reason, is unacceptable. It will just lead to more bitter and jaded men.

 

Hurting someone who loves you? I think the word "creep" is mostly applied to men who are strangers to the woman.

 

Calling someone a creep for simply having low self esteem, or not being "Joe Suave", is ridiculous. Because it will only lower their self esteem, which will make them more socially awkward or afraid of offending someone, which will lead them to being even further from the goal, and etc.

 

Understand that the woman who calls you this probably doesn't know the first thing about you. She has wrongly judged you based on your actions, your appearance, and nothing else. She did not mean it as a slight against your low self-esteem, as she interpreted that low self-esteem as threatening behavior. Some women (and men) are more sensitive than others, and if they get "bad vibes" from a man, they will consider him "creepy". She has no way of knowing where that behavior is originating from, and since she feels threatened, she will not approach you to find out.

 

So while I understand that this is a lose-lose situation for you, it's still up to you to decide whether or not you want to take it personally. You can either A) Decide that she's a b****, that she's ignorant, and that she was trying to hurt your feelings, or B) Decide that she is human, she made a mistake, and that she doesn't know you at all.