I am a 32 Year old Female 5'10", 180lbs, slender/athletic build with no children

So why do I keep attracting men 47-50 year old men who apparently think nothing of the age gap. I have tried to entertain the concept by letting myself a couple a few times, but I just can't. I can't take the the grunting like a horse when they are getting up after sitting at for a one hour meal, or the entire conversations about the aches and pains remedies, or the hip replacement surgery. I can't take one more Oldsmobile or Cadillac,the feather in the brimmed hat when we dress up, the smell of hot and cold ointment or the glory days stories and I can't appreciate the slight age lines and wrinkles that give a hint of over the hill and the apparent attempts to dress "cool" for my benefit.

I think it bothers me because I am getting older and still have not found someone or had kids, so their age reminds me of my aging and I resent that. Besides that we are just a different places in our life. I mean I am going to wedding and baby showers and they are going to retirement parties. But my question and what I don't understand is why do I keep attracting these older men?

I realize no one can really answer this question, but it feels good to get it out and any thoughts on the subject in general would be nice to see.

One of the things that many men find has to do with how much they are attracted to a woman has to do with attitude about other people.

But since you find these men so unattractive all you need do is decline their invitations.

No idea but I have the same problem. I am older than you (39) and I attract much older men too. I want a guy around my age, yet these old guys (I've gotten guys as old as 75 wanting to date me!). For some reason women often attract men we don't want. I want skinny to slightly chubby nerdy never married childless men 35-45 and seem to attract big burly men who are 45+ with kids and sometimes grandkids!

I don't know, to be honest.. it's hard to say in general. Are you talking about attempts at online dating? Have you put up pictures of yourself? That should encourage more responses from men in general and hopefully men around the age you are looking for.

But - I don't know that 47-50 is quite as over the hill as you seem to think. Nevertheless if you want to attract more attention from younger guys perhaps spend time doing things that younger men are more likely to be doing? Borrow a friend's dog and take him to a walk at a bunch of dog parks. You have no idea how many men below the age of 40 hang out at dog parks with their dogs - and they are very friendly and depending on the size of the park (the smaller the better for this) ..all the dog owners get to know each other very well. That's a nice way to spend the day and a great opportunity to meet people and make new friends around the age range you are looking for.

If you're not interested in dating these men, I agree, just disregard their invitations.

One of the things that many men find has to do with how much they are attracted to a woman has to do with attitude about other people.

 

But since you find these men so unattractive all you need do is decline their invitations.

Can you explain more what you mean b the attitude about other people? I am really interested in understanding this idea to see if it fits my situation.

Also, I am not attracted to them romantically, but I find that they are good people. We seem to fall into a friendship where I am comfortable with staying. They appreciate my company, but will usually think that more time means a better chance and I feel guilty because I know what they really want so I usually stop the friendship

No idea but I have the same problem. I am older than you (39) and I attract much older men too. I want a guy around my age, yet these old guys (I've gotten guys as old as 75 wanting to date me!). For some reason women often attract men we don't want. I want skinny to slightly chubby nerdy never married childless men 35-45 and seem to attract big burly men who are 45+ with kids and sometimes grandkids!

I would like someone closer to my age also. I would love for him to be under 40, but early 40 is fine also. Kids I have become flexible with, but definitely no with kids with different women.I just want to be somewhere similar in life with my partner.

Thanks, great idea...

This is true and I have. What has happened is they go into friend mode and I fall for it. I don't want to date them , but lunch or a nice conversation sometimes I don't see anything wrong with if that's just it. But they usually have different motives.

you packing some pounds there my friend. so the extra pounds make you look older hence the attention from the middle age men.

There are certain types of men who will go after women much much younger than they are. Just like you are feeling your age more by being with these much older men, these kind of men gravitate towards much younger women so that they can forget about the fact that they are getting older. So basically it is an ego boost for these older men to be able to nab themselves a much younger girlfriend...it gives them the illusion of being younger. What you need to stop doing is going out with these men assuming you can be just friends with them, because they are not looking for platonic friendship from a much younger woman, they are looking for a girlfriend, bed partner and arm candy.

Don, when you're 5'10 and 180 pounds, you're 'regular' sized at the most, and maybe even thin. Course, it depends on your body type, but I'm 'thinnish' when I'm at 180.

you packing some pounds there my friend. so the extra pounds make you look older hence the attention from the middle age men.

I am 5'10" so 180lbs does not look heavy on me at all. I am actually slender with have an athletic build because I have definition to my shoulders arms and legs.

Are you meeting these men online, such as a dating site, or are you meeting them offline?

I am 5'10" so 180lbs does not look heavy on me at all. I am actually slender with have an athletic build because I have definition to my shoulders arms and legs.

Are you meeting these men online, such as a dating site, or are you meeting them offline?

I am meeting them offline at work and church. Oh and one guy with gray hair on the sides approached me at the movie theater. I was going coming out the theater to get food and he was going in. I said excuse me, we made eye contact he must have did an about face and followed me because before I knew it he was at the concession stand asking me if we could speak sometimes. He was tall and looked like his late 40's, early 50's, but may have been older.

I gave him the number and set a date, but remembering my previous experiences, I cancelled. I actually posted on here and got a lot of slack for it.

Here it is: ..

I am 5'10 and 180 pounds and am a guy and no one would consider me slender ,I am well built .I don't disregard that most people consider you slender but most women with those dimensions would not be considered slender .

Her BMI indicates that she is about six pounds overweight. Plenty of women look good with just a tiny bit of weight. Plus, she said she is athletic, so she probably has muscle. She is not massively overweight or obese.

I am meeting them offline at work and church.

I think that means you need to do other activities and get out more where you're going to meet men in your more desired age bracket.

I wondered because when I was your age I was single too and became frustrated with the lack of options. It seems that many men in their 30s are taken. But my problem was that the only men who hit on me were younger, not older. I wanted a man in his 30s, not early 20s, but, alas, I ended up marrying a younger guy.

I think that means you need to do other activities and get out more where you're going to meet men in your more desired age bracket.

 

I wondered because when I was your age I was single too and became frustrated with the lack of options. It seems that many men in their 30s are taken. But my problem was that the only men who hit on me were younger, not older. I wanted a man in his 30s, not early 20s, but, alas, I ended up marrying a younger guy.

That sounds like what I should do.....interesting so you wound up with a younger guy after all. If you don't mind my asking how many years younger? And I wonder if I will wind up with an older man after all

That sounds like what I should do.....interesting so you wound up with a younger guy after all. If you don't mind my asking how many years younger? And I wonder if I will wind up with an older man after all

 

Ten years.

I think men get more confident as they get older, so it makes total sense to me that they will approach a woman they find attractive and ask her out. especially since it is somewhat common for men to date younger women. 47 is not that old by the way! i know 40 and 50 somethings who are in awesome shape, super energetic, etc... i think it's all about how well you take care of your body and how well you age. i know men and women in their 40s and 50s, and looking at them, you would think they are in their 30s.

and like DN said, all you have to do is turn them down. if you aren't feeling it.

Her BMI indicates that she is about six pounds overweight. Plenty of women look good with just a tiny bit of weight. Plus, she said she is athletic, so she probably has muscle. She is not massively overweight or obese.

Yes,muscle is significantly heavier than the same amount of fat.However I still don't think most women who are 5'10 and 180 would be considered ''slender'' ..I am those dimensions and pretty well have the build of a hockey player ; thick thighs ,broad shoulders ..

It depends on what type of physique she has. I am very muscular and my weight sounds much bigger than I am. I wear generally a size 8 to give you an idea. However what she's talking about is something I've experienced. Men think they can have anyone while we women must take what we can get.

Yes,muscle is significantly heavier than the same amount of fat.However I still don't think most women who are 5'10 and 180 would be considered ''slender'' ..I am those dimensions and pretty well have the build of a hockey player ; thick thighs ,broad shoulders ..

But you probably don't have boobs and a butt either, like most women. I have been ten pounds overweight before and I don't think I looked bad -- most people didn't notice. It mainly went to my butt and boobs. But is your position that the reason she only gets hit on by men seventeen years older than she is because she's a very small amount of pounds overweight?

OP, turn down the older men who ask you out, simple as that.

However, if you want to attract younger men than I suggest you lose some weight for appearance sake. Unless you weight train you shouldn't be 180lbs at 5'10. That is too much for a female IMHO. Look at all the MMA fighters or boxers and you will see how fit they are at lower weights. I was around 180lbs 3 years back and I had a muscular physique from weights and cardio and am 5'9, one inch shorter than you. I know weight is a touchy subject but men are more visual and if you lose some weight it will only benefit in other areas as well.

So wait a minute...the OP is "too fat" for men her own age but "just right" for older men who may be "desperate so they will take anything"! Her weight is not what is turning off men her own age. It is that men her own age are either married or busy running after the women 10 years younger. If a 47 year old man is running after a 32 year old then it is very possible that the 32 year old men are running after the 20 year olds. Even at age 20 there will be men 40+ trying to date them. At 47 years old there will be men of 67 trying to date them. Weight has nothing to do with it. I have also seen plenty of larger women find men their own age and not all the men were large as well.