Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

  1. #1
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,823
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    240

    If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

    This is not the guy I wrote about on my last thread. Yes, the one I was thinking about to seduce and everyone went off on me for. I sort of have two guys on my leash right now and I'm still trying to figure out who which one I like better and who suits me more.


    ok so I'm not really used to guys not chasing.. when I think about it..all of the guys I have dated, they all kinda chased or at least showed a reasonable amount of interest (some too much).

    This lovely monsieur though is not of the sort. We haven't met irl yet, and I'm thinking he might be the kind of person who doesn't want to get too involved with people he hasn't met yet and kinda keeps his distance until he met them irl. Still, we have been playing together and talking nearly every day for about 3-4 weeks, not about too personal or deep topics though..

    He has yet to flirt with me or give me a compliment (besides once mentioning that he thought I have very nice lips) but he did invite me to go on a "date" with him.. we were supposed to go to a café together 2 weeks ago but I did not have time and the next time we were supposed to go, he got the flu.. and we haven't set up a new date yet.. mainly because he hasn't messaged me yet, yes I'm waiting for him to make the contact this time, cuz I did last time..

    The thing about him is that he is shockingly self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality. Whiiiiich of course is a little bit intimidating, so I'm afraid I will be nervous/shy/uptight/tense on our date, but I'll just drink a few glasses of wine before I go, that'll help

    Anyway. So he's reallllllly not the chasing type, but when we talk and play it's nice & fun and all.. is him not showing too much interest a bad sign though? From what I've written here, does it seem like he is not into me?

    Any questions, just ask. I probably left out some important stuff or something. just kinda rambling, gah, hate it.

  2. #2
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    13,331
    Thanked
    3574
    I'm not a guy, but I know if I'm not into someone, then I won't "chase" them or encourage them. I can imagine it's the same for most people.

    As to this particular guy, you say you two have been talking everyday for the past 3-4 weeks, so I'm not too sure what the problem is. I don't think he'd talk to you daily if he didn't want to.

  3. #3
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    840
    Thanked
    4
    If he's been talking to you for 3/4 weeks as you've stated then he's at least somewhat interested in you. Some men simply have their guard up more than others and they don't chase out of fear of coming accross as desperate.

  4. #4
    tiredofvampires
    Forum Supporter tiredofvampires's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In this world but not of it
    Age
    49
    Posts
    7,902
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1016
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?

  5. #5
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    13,331
    Thanked
    3574
    Quote Originally Posted by tiredofvampires [Register to see the link]
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?
    I was trying to figure that out too, lol.

    OP: How much chasing do you need? Asking you on date is not enough?

  6. #6
    Belle
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    993
    Thanked
    1
    He doesn't sound like the type to invest in something that's not real yet. It's completely understandable and means he has a more mature outlook than a lot of people do when dating online. When you do meet, just have fun and be playful and see if he respond to your flirtation. Chemistry is a big part of the equation and photos can't tell you if there'll be chemistry.

    Glad to hear you're not pursuing the other guy. That just sounded bad all around.

  7. #7
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,823
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    240
    well... he didn't exactly ask me out like in the classical way.. it was in a response to something that I jokingly said, he was like "hey ok we'll do something next week" .. he wouldn't have said that if I didn't make the joke in the first place.. so I dunno :/

    and a lot of the times I had to initiate the conversation.. I somehow doubt that we would have talked that often if I hadn't messaged him in the first place.. and like I said when we talk it's never personal and he doesn't ask a lot of questions.. that speaks of low interest or am I just paranoid/ reading too much into things

  8. #8
    LightbulbSun

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,914
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Some guys are shy, and less likely to chase. It doesn't mean they're not interested.

  9. #9
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    840
    Thanked
    4
    You're worried about his lack of contact and you say he is, "self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality" but that's what you see on the outside. It might just very well be that's he's just as intimidated by you as you are of him.

    In my opinion, I don't think you should over analyze his action (or lack there of). Take it easy, one step at a time and just see where this goes.

  10. #10
    oldenoughtoknow
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Age
    57
    Posts
    2,923
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    3
    If you're talking every day, I wouldn't worry much about his interest. He may be playing it smart and not getting too invested or attached until you meet. But if he doesn't follow through on setting up the date fairly soon, I think you'll have your answer.

    Maybe, just maybe if you think he's stupidly playing hard to get, just cut off all contact. Let him squirm for a day or two and if he inquires why you aren't responding, just tell him that you suggested a date and he hasn't followed through, and you aren't into wasting your time. Being that assertive will feel really good, and who knows, it just might wake up him up as well.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
How does this happen?
There is a woman in my life, a co-worker. We’re friends, but not that close. This woman is amazing. Beautiful, kind, artistic, intelligent. We grew
Have you ever ghosted someone and why?
Just curious what people's reasons are for ghosting.
Is he playing me?
I posted earlier about him. He works in the same building. He joined few weeks ago. Asked me a few times to go for a drink and I finally agreed. We
What's the most frustrating part of dating for you?
Hey guys, I'm curious what for you is the most frustrating part of dating or the part that you have the most problems with? Also from a girl's
Feeling A Bit Shallow Today. :(
Guys, you've been helping me a lot lately so here's one more, if you can. Last night I went to a single's event in my city, and got chatting with
Her wandering eye
I'm a 26 year old guy. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now. There have been ups and downs but it has been mostly good. One
How do we get through this?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four years. He has been incredible and stepped up to the plate with my nine year old daughter. We also

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My (ex?) girlfriend has anorexia and it probably destroyed our relationship - what to do?
Hello. I would like to tell my story. I am a 22 year-old male dating an 18 year-old female, though we have probably broken up today. This is
Question about how I should handle the finances in my marriage
I recently married my bf of 5 years and we are expecting a baby early next year. Since then I've found out some rather disturbing things about his
married now found out she cheated while we were dating Im so confused help
We have been married 2 years and dated a long time before we were married (16yrs) 5 years into our relationship my wife , then gf went on a cruise
Wanting To Be With Loved One In After-Life
Has anyone who has ever lost a loved one with whom they were extremely close and loved dearly ever thought about taking his/her own life so as to be
Does everyone have some positive qualities?
Since the day I had been dumped (got dumped in April and after all the failed efforts to reconcile, accepted his decision in mid July). I feel I am a
I it wrong to date my sister's ex boyfriend?
My sister was dating a guy for two month, and me and her bf start being friends until they broke up.....i have feelings for him and he also loves me
She left me because she thinks I'm dumb
I have been in relationship with this girl and moved to her country 3 months ago and lately things are going pretty bad and she is seeking for a
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •