Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

  1. #1
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,755
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    127

    If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

    This is not the guy I wrote about on my last thread. Yes, the one I was thinking about to seduce and everyone went off on me for. I sort of have two guys on my leash right now and I'm still trying to figure out who which one I like better and who suits me more.


    ok so I'm not really used to guys not chasing.. when I think about it..all of the guys I have dated, they all kinda chased or at least showed a reasonable amount of interest (some too much).

    This lovely monsieur though is not of the sort. We haven't met irl yet, and I'm thinking he might be the kind of person who doesn't want to get too involved with people he hasn't met yet and kinda keeps his distance until he met them irl. Still, we have been playing together and talking nearly every day for about 3-4 weeks, not about too personal or deep topics though..

    He has yet to flirt with me or give me a compliment (besides once mentioning that he thought I have very nice lips) but he did invite me to go on a "date" with him.. we were supposed to go to a café together 2 weeks ago but I did not have time and the next time we were supposed to go, he got the flu.. and we haven't set up a new date yet.. mainly because he hasn't messaged me yet, yes I'm waiting for him to make the contact this time, cuz I did last time..

    The thing about him is that he is shockingly self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality. Whiiiiich of course is a little bit intimidating, so I'm afraid I will be nervous/shy/uptight/tense on our date, but I'll just drink a few glasses of wine before I go, that'll help

    Anyway. So he's reallllllly not the chasing type, but when we talk and play it's nice & fun and all.. is him not showing too much interest a bad sign though? From what I've written here, does it seem like he is not into me?

    Any questions, just ask. I probably left out some important stuff or something. just kinda rambling, gah, hate it.

  2. #2
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    11,289
    Thanked
    1302
    I'm not a guy, but I know if I'm not into someone, then I won't "chase" them or encourage them. I can imagine it's the same for most people.

    As to this particular guy, you say you two have been talking everyday for the past 3-4 weeks, so I'm not too sure what the problem is. I don't think he'd talk to you daily if he didn't want to.

  3. #3
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    832
    If he's been talking to you for 3/4 weeks as you've stated then he's at least somewhat interested in you. Some men simply have their guard up more than others and they don't chase out of fear of coming accross as desperate.

  4. #4
    tiredofvampires
    Forum Supporter tiredofvampires's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In this world but not of it
    Age
    48
    Posts
    7,763
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    844
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?

  5. #5
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    11,289
    Thanked
    1302
    Quote Originally Posted by tiredofvampires [Register to see the link]
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?
    I was trying to figure that out too, lol.

    OP: How much chasing do you need? Asking you on date is not enough?

  6. #6
    Belle
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    993
    Thanked
    1
    He doesn't sound like the type to invest in something that's not real yet. It's completely understandable and means he has a more mature outlook than a lot of people do when dating online. When you do meet, just have fun and be playful and see if he respond to your flirtation. Chemistry is a big part of the equation and photos can't tell you if there'll be chemistry.

    Glad to hear you're not pursuing the other guy. That just sounded bad all around.

  7. #7
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,755
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    127
    well... he didn't exactly ask me out like in the classical way.. it was in a response to something that I jokingly said, he was like "hey ok we'll do something next week" .. he wouldn't have said that if I didn't make the joke in the first place.. so I dunno :/

    and a lot of the times I had to initiate the conversation.. I somehow doubt that we would have talked that often if I hadn't messaged him in the first place.. and like I said when we talk it's never personal and he doesn't ask a lot of questions.. that speaks of low interest or am I just paranoid/ reading too much into things

  8. #8
    LightbulbSun

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,914
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Some guys are shy, and less likely to chase. It doesn't mean they're not interested.

  9. #9
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    832
    You're worried about his lack of contact and you say he is, "self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality" but that's what you see on the outside. It might just very well be that's he's just as intimidated by you as you are of him.

    In my opinion, I don't think you should over analyze his action (or lack there of). Take it easy, one step at a time and just see where this goes.

  10. #10
    oldenoughtoknow
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Age
    55
    Posts
    2,923
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    If you're talking every day, I wouldn't worry much about his interest. He may be playing it smart and not getting too invested or attached until you meet. But if he doesn't follow through on setting up the date fairly soon, I think you'll have your answer.

    Maybe, just maybe if you think he's stupidly playing hard to get, just cut off all contact. Let him squirm for a day or two and if he inquires why you aren't responding, just tell him that you suggested a date and he hasn't followed through, and you aren't into wasting your time. Being that assertive will feel really good, and who knows, it just might wake up him up as well.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
He lets me pay for half? When He suggested we go eat?
Starters: me-F/20. Him-M/23 So I met this guy 2 weeks ago. He's pretty cool, he asks me to hang every other day and he texts me daily. He always
I slept with him - now what?!
Hi everyone, So I'd been chatting with a guy on Tinder for just over a month before we met. We have a lot in common and spoke on the phone for hours
I've caught feelings where I shouldn't...
So annoyed at myself... So- bit of history. I've been single for 6 months after getting out of a 4 year serious relationship and have only been
I became engaged with a girl who calls herself a "free spirit"......need clarity
I met a wonderful and bright girl 3.5 years ago and she by far stole my heart. She is appositely beautiful, funny, intelligent and outgoing. She is
Would this bother you?
If a guy you were dating decided to put your photo on his social media page (with your total consent) and said that he loved you BUT then you noticed
The 'Time wasters' on dating sites
So here I go again and I'm pretty sure I am not alone here. A woman my age (early 30s) I have been talking to for about a month now just admitted
Dating a single mother for the first time...
We are both women and she is a great person. She is very stable, trustworthy and knows what she wants which are all things I LOVE about her. She has

Featured Threads
Who is in the wrong?
This person isn't really a "friend" she is 24+ years older than me. I have a feeling I'm getting taken advantage of because of my age. I started
I became engaged with a girl who calls herself a "free spirit"......need clarity
I met a wonderful and bright girl 3.5 years ago and she by far stole my heart. She is appositely beautiful, funny, intelligent and outgoing. She is
Has anyone ever totally given up on finding love?
Hello everyone! Well I been wanting to post this for a few weeks now. I don't really know how to say it or word it. But, who here has or knows
Today "should" have been our 6 year anniversary
Today was suppose to be our 6th year together. Today is the first time on this date that we are not together. We made this date a big deal
Shoud I break up because my girlfriend hooked up with my cousin in t
I'm jealous because my girlfriend had casual sex with my cousin before she met me. We've been dating for a year, she's very funny, caring, sexy
I'm in love with my co-worker 😥
My coworker and I started working together about 10 months ago. We work closely together all day just the two of us mainly. From the day he started
Aggressive Courting
There's this girl I really, really like, and would really want to be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, recently I messed up, and now I think she
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •