Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

  1. #1
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,760
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    140

    If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

    This is not the guy I wrote about on my last thread. Yes, the one I was thinking about to seduce and everyone went off on me for. I sort of have two guys on my leash right now and I'm still trying to figure out who which one I like better and who suits me more.


    ok so I'm not really used to guys not chasing.. when I think about it..all of the guys I have dated, they all kinda chased or at least showed a reasonable amount of interest (some too much).

    This lovely monsieur though is not of the sort. We haven't met irl yet, and I'm thinking he might be the kind of person who doesn't want to get too involved with people he hasn't met yet and kinda keeps his distance until he met them irl. Still, we have been playing together and talking nearly every day for about 3-4 weeks, not about too personal or deep topics though..

    He has yet to flirt with me or give me a compliment (besides once mentioning that he thought I have very nice lips) but he did invite me to go on a "date" with him.. we were supposed to go to a café together 2 weeks ago but I did not have time and the next time we were supposed to go, he got the flu.. and we haven't set up a new date yet.. mainly because he hasn't messaged me yet, yes I'm waiting for him to make the contact this time, cuz I did last time..

    The thing about him is that he is shockingly self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality. Whiiiiich of course is a little bit intimidating, so I'm afraid I will be nervous/shy/uptight/tense on our date, but I'll just drink a few glasses of wine before I go, that'll help

    Anyway. So he's reallllllly not the chasing type, but when we talk and play it's nice & fun and all.. is him not showing too much interest a bad sign though? From what I've written here, does it seem like he is not into me?

    Any questions, just ask. I probably left out some important stuff or something. just kinda rambling, gah, hate it.

  2. #2
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    11,459
    Thanked
    1449
    I'm not a guy, but I know if I'm not into someone, then I won't "chase" them or encourage them. I can imagine it's the same for most people.

    As to this particular guy, you say you two have been talking everyday for the past 3-4 weeks, so I'm not too sure what the problem is. I don't think he'd talk to you daily if he didn't want to.

  3. #3
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Where people don't tan but rust
    Posts
    840
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    If he's been talking to you for 3/4 weeks as you've stated then he's at least somewhat interested in you. Some men simply have their guard up more than others and they don't chase out of fear of coming accross as desperate.

  4. #4
    tiredofvampires
    Forum Supporter tiredofvampires's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In this world but not of it
    Age
    48
    Posts
    7,819
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    858
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?

  5. #5
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    11,459
    Thanked
    1449
    Quote Originally Posted by tiredofvampires [Register to see the link]
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?
    I was trying to figure that out too, lol.

    OP: How much chasing do you need? Asking you on date is not enough?

  6. #6
    Belle
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    993
    Thanked
    1
    He doesn't sound like the type to invest in something that's not real yet. It's completely understandable and means he has a more mature outlook than a lot of people do when dating online. When you do meet, just have fun and be playful and see if he respond to your flirtation. Chemistry is a big part of the equation and photos can't tell you if there'll be chemistry.

    Glad to hear you're not pursuing the other guy. That just sounded bad all around.

  7. #7
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,760
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    140
    well... he didn't exactly ask me out like in the classical way.. it was in a response to something that I jokingly said, he was like "hey ok we'll do something next week" .. he wouldn't have said that if I didn't make the joke in the first place.. so I dunno :/

    and a lot of the times I had to initiate the conversation.. I somehow doubt that we would have talked that often if I hadn't messaged him in the first place.. and like I said when we talk it's never personal and he doesn't ask a lot of questions.. that speaks of low interest or am I just paranoid/ reading too much into things

  8. #8
    LightbulbSun

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    33
    Posts
    3,914
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Some guys are shy, and less likely to chase. It doesn't mean they're not interested.

  9. #9
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Where people don't tan but rust
    Posts
    840
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    You're worried about his lack of contact and you say he is, "self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality" but that's what you see on the outside. It might just very well be that's he's just as intimidated by you as you are of him.

    In my opinion, I don't think you should over analyze his action (or lack there of). Take it easy, one step at a time and just see where this goes.

  10. #10
    oldenoughtoknow
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Age
    56
    Posts
    2,923
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    If you're talking every day, I wouldn't worry much about his interest. He may be playing it smart and not getting too invested or attached until you meet. But if he doesn't follow through on setting up the date fairly soon, I think you'll have your answer.

    Maybe, just maybe if you think he's stupidly playing hard to get, just cut off all contact. Let him squirm for a day or two and if he inquires why you aren't responding, just tell him that you suggested a date and he hasn't followed through, and you aren't into wasting your time. Being that assertive will feel really good, and who knows, it just might wake up him up as well.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Devastated after being ghosted
I've been dating a guy for about 4 months now. I should add I made sure to move things slowly at first and not rush into anything. We got along so
2 great dates, now silent treament
Hello, [B]PLEASE HELP[/B] ( not to long but, had to be detailed ) I realize dating is a roller coaster of emotions and you often don't know what
Dealing with a "Nice Guy."
Hi All, Ok so I met this guy recently online. He lives in my area and we have tons in common. He made his interest known right away. But I told
The back n forth guy. Please help!
I have a dilemma that is driving me crazy. I really need some advice badly! Feel like im goin mad as i dont know what to do! Ill try and keep it
Complicated older guy....
So I met this guy a few years ago. At the time he was married and so was I but I can admit I thought he was a attractive guy. Fast forward a few
if he does not want a relationship, should I move on?
[B][U]My questions:[/U][/B] A. Does he want a relationship? How much time do I give him to decide if he wants a relationship with me? I am not sure
I Could Really Use Some Direction
I'm really at a loss with my dating life. As some context, I'm in my mid-twenties. I have a fantastic career, I work out daily, I have fantastic

Featured Threads
I would kill just to talk to her again:(
I know, it's pathetic. But it's been 6-7 weeks, post breakup, and I text her only once during that time, which was a short and uplifting text, but to
One year after my wife left, am I ready to move on?
My three year marriage came to an end about a year ago. During the three years, we were very happy, mainly because I was extremely giving. She came
Girlfriend Problems
My friend and I have had a "thing" for about a year now and we're technically dating. We both love each other and we've grown very comfortable around
Too much confusion...
About month ago I felt perfect , everything was going just fine, I mostly stopped thinking about my ex,and then bam - she contacted me. She contacted
Did I do the right thing? Dating a guy with kids whos living with his baby mama
Okay so basically I struck up a friendship with someone online who told me he had three kids and he was still living with his baby mama. The big red
How to make things up with my family?
Hi all, About a couple of weeks ago, I had an argument with my parents that escalated into something way bigger than it should have been, and
She isn't happy with me anymore.
Hi, I just found out about this site and I decided to ask you guys for help. I've been dating a girl for 4 months. She has anxiety and sometimes gets
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •