Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 24

Thread: If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

  1. #1
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,794
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    206

    If a guy doesn't chase you, does it mean he doesn't want you?

    This is not the guy I wrote about on my last thread. Yes, the one I was thinking about to seduce and everyone went off on me for. I sort of have two guys on my leash right now and I'm still trying to figure out who which one I like better and who suits me more.


    ok so I'm not really used to guys not chasing.. when I think about it..all of the guys I have dated, they all kinda chased or at least showed a reasonable amount of interest (some too much).

    This lovely monsieur though is not of the sort. We haven't met irl yet, and I'm thinking he might be the kind of person who doesn't want to get too involved with people he hasn't met yet and kinda keeps his distance until he met them irl. Still, we have been playing together and talking nearly every day for about 3-4 weeks, not about too personal or deep topics though..

    He has yet to flirt with me or give me a compliment (besides once mentioning that he thought I have very nice lips) but he did invite me to go on a "date" with him.. we were supposed to go to a café together 2 weeks ago but I did not have time and the next time we were supposed to go, he got the flu.. and we haven't set up a new date yet.. mainly because he hasn't messaged me yet, yes I'm waiting for him to make the contact this time, cuz I did last time..

    The thing about him is that he is shockingly self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality. Whiiiiich of course is a little bit intimidating, so I'm afraid I will be nervous/shy/uptight/tense on our date, but I'll just drink a few glasses of wine before I go, that'll help

    Anyway. So he's reallllllly not the chasing type, but when we talk and play it's nice & fun and all.. is him not showing too much interest a bad sign though? From what I've written here, does it seem like he is not into me?

    Any questions, just ask. I probably left out some important stuff or something. just kinda rambling, gah, hate it.

  2. #2
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    12,473
    Thanked
    2568
    I'm not a guy, but I know if I'm not into someone, then I won't "chase" them or encourage them. I can imagine it's the same for most people.

    As to this particular guy, you say you two have been talking everyday for the past 3-4 weeks, so I'm not too sure what the problem is. I don't think he'd talk to you daily if he didn't want to.

  3. #3
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    840
    Thanked
    4
    If he's been talking to you for 3/4 weeks as you've stated then he's at least somewhat interested in you. Some men simply have their guard up more than others and they don't chase out of fear of coming accross as desperate.

  4. #4
    tiredofvampires
    Forum Supporter tiredofvampires's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In this world but not of it
    Age
    48
    Posts
    7,880
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    977
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?

  5. #5
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    12,473
    Thanked
    2568
    Quote Originally Posted by tiredofvampires [Register to see the link]
    He asked you out on a date.

    Why does it have to be more than that right now?
    I was trying to figure that out too, lol.

    OP: How much chasing do you need? Asking you on date is not enough?

  6. #6
    Belle
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    993
    Thanked
    1
    He doesn't sound like the type to invest in something that's not real yet. It's completely understandable and means he has a more mature outlook than a lot of people do when dating online. When you do meet, just have fun and be playful and see if he respond to your flirtation. Chemistry is a big part of the equation and photos can't tell you if there'll be chemistry.

    Glad to hear you're not pursuing the other guy. That just sounded bad all around.

  7. #7
    Bunney
    Platinum Member Bunney's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    1,794
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    206
    well... he didn't exactly ask me out like in the classical way.. it was in a response to something that I jokingly said, he was like "hey ok we'll do something next week" .. he wouldn't have said that if I didn't make the joke in the first place.. so I dunno :/

    and a lot of the times I had to initiate the conversation.. I somehow doubt that we would have talked that often if I hadn't messaged him in the first place.. and like I said when we talk it's never personal and he doesn't ask a lot of questions.. that speaks of low interest or am I just paranoid/ reading too much into things

  8. #8
    LightbulbSun

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    USA
    Age
    34
    Posts
    3,914
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    Some guys are shy, and less likely to chase. It doesn't mean they're not interested.

  9. #9
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    840
    Thanked
    4
    You're worried about his lack of contact and you say he is, "self-confident and is goodlooking and has an all around nice, good strong personality" but that's what you see on the outside. It might just very well be that's he's just as intimidated by you as you are of him.

    In my opinion, I don't think you should over analyze his action (or lack there of). Take it easy, one step at a time and just see where this goes.

  10. #10
    oldenoughtoknow
    Platinum Member oldenoughtoknow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Age
    56
    Posts
    2,923
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2
    If you're talking every day, I wouldn't worry much about his interest. He may be playing it smart and not getting too invested or attached until you meet. But if he doesn't follow through on setting up the date fairly soon, I think you'll have your answer.

    Maybe, just maybe if you think he's stupidly playing hard to get, just cut off all contact. Let him squirm for a day or two and if he inquires why you aren't responding, just tell him that you suggested a date and he hasn't followed through, and you aren't into wasting your time. Being that assertive will feel really good, and who knows, it just might wake up him up as well.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
I don't want to lose her, but I said foolish crap.
We've been dating for a month and a half...been on 5 dates...have done everything except have sex. Talk on the phone 6 hours a night...every night
Can guys really be non texters?
I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I
Maybe losing the best love I've ever had?
Hi everyone, this is my first post, and I'm kind of struggling to get all my thoughts together, so I guess I'll just start. I'm 21, and my boyfriend
Fed up of paying for boyfriend
I need advice please,. Iv been with my boyfriend two years the first year and half was great and it still is except for one problem , I'm fed up of
Still hung up on an abusive ex
I posted a while ago, about having had 2 great dates with this guy..and then the 3rd one kept getting postponed..2 different reasons, then he got
My brother and his colleague
My brother hugged his colleague when she became teared up .she hugged him back with big smile and she told him hey at this time she told him I am
won't spend the night
Dating for almost 3 months .. sex for the last month but he won't spend the night. Says it's because he has to get up early and such. but this has

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Is he still in love with his EX?
I met this great guy at work (last November), he just got out of a painful breakup (last September) during that time he kept communicating with his
Can't get over girlfriends past
I've been dating this girl for about 5 months and its going great. The only issue is that I can't get over her sexual history. There are several
I dont like my girlfriends new piercing
So my girlfriend went and got nipple piercings knowing that i didnt like them and didnt tell me she was gonna get them. They are a really big turn
What I am to her ?
hey guys I want some counseling .. I met a girl online .. At first she said that she doesn't wanna fall for me and we will be just friends .. I said
I want my family back
Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to
Anxious and depressed about being 32 yo and not married
I could really use some kind and encouraging words right now because I wake up every morning to an intense feeling of pain because I am alone. I'm 32
Ex (dumper) delays giving keys back. Why?
First time poster. Been viewing threads somewhat regularly for a few months now and figured I'd get a few opinions. I'll give a little of the
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •