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Thread: Am I jumping to onclusions?

  1. #11

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    Condom instructions in her handbag is weak evidence? Interesting.

  2. #12
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    like DN, i find her explanations suspicious. they just sound strange.... don't quite have the 'ring of truth' to them.

    one thing that crossed my mind for the ATM is that there might have been a time change, and the computer system might not have updated. but that doesn't explain condom instructions?? interesting to blame it on a 4 year old. i find this all suspicious, honestly. and since you are gone a lot, i think it does give her opportunity to cheat, if she wishes.

  3. #13
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Brownstone322
    "Evidence" presented in this particular forum if often weak (and, of course, completely one-sided). The "evidence" in this case is extraordinarily weak.
    i think men typically carry around 1 or 2 condoms in their wallet at all times, just in case, and sometimes its in there because they forgot about it. at least, that's what i've noticed with single men. as for women, the fact is, we change purses just about every day (to match our outfits and the occasion), and usually something is in there because we've placed it in there. most women don't carry around condoms 'just in case' - especially if they are married women and their husband is away on a business trip.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member dancingcolors's Avatar
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    The condom thing seems odd, and the story about the 4 year old seems lame. But how does 45 minutes difference with an atm machine indicate cheating??

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  6. #15

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    The time difference would possibly be inconsequential - lying about it is what is suspicious.

  7. #16
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    I don't mean to sound mean, but I will, so apologies are in order.

    I have dated guys like you, and it was an absolute nightmare. I have an audiovisual memory. I don't remember times, and I have trouble remembering places and directions. I can recite an entire conversation for lunch, but if you ask me at what time I was driving home and which street I took, 3 out of 4 times I'll get it wrong.

    I try to be honest, I try to be open, but if an hour difference turns into a constant dialogue for days, I would become stubborn as well. For me, with my audio visual memory, if I say I left work at 2:15, it's because 1:15 is when my classes are over and then I have around an hour of paperwork. On thursdays, the right answer would be 11:20, but I don't care about that, because it would be too much trouble for me to remember which day of the week it is at the same time as remembering what time it is. I pay attention to getting my work done on time and my obligations done for the day, beyond that I am really NOT in the mood for an INTERROGATION.

    Him: When did you go to the atm?
    Her: Oh, around 2:15, I already told you.
    Him: Really, right here it says 11:30! GOTCHA!
    Her: Ok, so you know, why are you asking me?
    Him: So you admit that you lied?
    Her: No, as far as I remember it was around 2:15.
    Him: So you are suggesting that the machine lied?
    Her: No, I'm suggesting that this is a stupid conversation and I'm going to bed.

    Him: Good morning.
    Her: Good morning.
    Him: so are you going to explain to me why you lied about the time you went to the ATM?
    Her: sure. I left work at 11:15, had sex in the car with 15 random men I met on the internet, and I didn't want you to know, so I lied about the time. Afterwards I took the information card from the condoms and saved it in my purse in case I needed it later. Then i went to the toilet and locked myself in because I had to have sex with two other men and also shoot some heroin.

    Is that the story you want to hear?

    Add to that, I'm disorganized. There are random objects that have been kicking around my purse for years. I don't even know what's down there. When I'm in the train and starving, sometimes I look for one of the individually packed bisquites I've been collecting there from cafes around the world. Sometimes paperwork finds its way there from other people, and I have been known to quickly stow away embarrassing objects there if kids are around. Pictures of male genetalia? I could totally understand why that would end up in the purse.

    Here's a neat anecdote. One ex, he was really interested in knowing everything about me. He learned, for instance, that I couldn't use one particular kind of feminine hygiene product. When he "happened to notice" that I had a box of tampons there, he was upset at my incredible lack of honesty and dumped him. I COULD have told him that I had bought them years ago by mistake, but left them in my locker at work because some girls would sometimes need them, and just cleared out my locker blahdadieblahdadiebladadie, but since I was sure he would just ask me what day of the week it was at that time, and I was already TIRED of being defensive all the time, I just let him go.

    Are you going to seriously question your wife about why she locked herself in the toilet? I have two probable answers why a woman would do that. Number one, and number two.

  8. #17

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    Interesting how some people blame the suspicious spouse until the cheating is proven and then turn around and blame them for being oblivious to the evidence when the cheating is confirmed. I still maintain the OP has reasonable grounds for his suspicions and should be very attuned to his wife's future conduct. That is not controlling or paranoid - it is just sensible.

  9. #18
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    It's weak evidence because it doesn't make sense as evidence.

    If she was having an affair, and she bought and used up an entire box of condoms, you don't think she'd also throw out the instructions if she was intent on hiding her deed?

    Have you ever chased around a 4 year old? I had in my care one lovely young girl who loved flushing books down the toilet. Later she moved on to cloth things, mostly underwear.

    I had another young boy in my care for several months who had a fascination with cardboard. he would rip it up into neat squares and hide them in shoes. I could tell the sitter was lazy by shaking out the shoes.

    I've had incidents, running out the door with a tired little kid, where I'd notice they were holding onto something they shouldn't; a sock, a penny, their bottle from the morning, my massager; and I'd wouldn't bother to run through the house yet again to put whatever it was in its proper place. I'd just throw it into my suitably gigantic catch all bag and move on with my day.

  10. #19
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    DN, who, exactly, blames the suspicious spouse and then blames him for being oblivious? Can't say I've ever seen that happen.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Doc Blaze's Avatar
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    If it was just the atm, i would be like let it go your overeacting but the lying and other things just dont add up to me...

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