kuteknish Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Does anyone have any knowledge on the subject? Has anyone ever dated or is married to a man with intimacy issues who could tell me about it? What's it like? What are the signs/characteristics? Any specific articles or books youc an recommend? thanks. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 bumping just in case Link to comment
Ministottie Posted December 10, 2010 Share Posted December 10, 2010 I guess I date a guy with intimacy issues. He is fine with kissing and cuddling but anything further doesn't happen anymore. The signs for me are he turns his head away if i try make out with him, and whenever i try touching him in an intimate way he grabs my hands and pretends to want to kiss them. I havn't read any books or anything yet as it is fairly recent. Hope this helps a little. Link to comment
sidehop Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Intimacy issues can happen to both male and female. It usually stems from lack of affection and bond with the parent(s) growing up. There's a lot that could've contributed to his lack of intimacy but it's something that probably needs professional counseling and taking time to address the issue. Books and articles can help I'm sure but have a feeling you two will probably gain more by seeing someone who's certified in this type of behavior. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 Hi Sidehop. thanks for the tidbit. Do you know some classic signs/characteristics of intimacy issues? Link to comment
sidehop Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 They're basically emotionally shut in many ways; from the way they keep all their emotions to displaying any sort of affections. It may seem as though in the beginning it was hunky-dory until all that stops, no physical connection, lack of communication and avoiding them all together. And it's not the end of the world either like anything, it can be resolved together with a right advice and counseling. It will take time but as long as the couple can work together to address and be aware of the issues in a relationship it can only strengthen the bond. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 I agree with the last paragraph you wrote. Actually, I agree with all you wrote and it sounds characteristic of my now ex. I have been trying to understand his behavior in our relationship based on his childhood life and his dating history... He thinks though, that he is the way he is not capable of loving or being affectionate.. "it's just not in his nature" he says and if that's what I need.. he'll never be able to give that to me. Sad. Link to comment
sidehop Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 If he's not willing to compromise a little like anything or at least understand your needs as well then you probably really need to be honest with yourself to decide if this is the type of relationship you want or how long you're willing to endure the intimacy issue. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted February 24, 2011 Author Share Posted February 24, 2011 It's been a while, but I still have been increasing my knowledge of this topic.. I've read a book by Pia Mellody called Love Addiction and I believe my ex was a "love avoidant" to a 'T'. Does anyone new to the forum have any insight about this topic they'd like to share? Link to comment
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