Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: First time sex with new partner

  1. #1
    annalisa84
    Gold Member annalisa84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    528
    Gender
    Female

    First time sex with new partner

    Hi Everyone!

    So tomorrow I believe I will have sex with a new partner
    I have two questions:

    I cannot orgasm so easily and usually it takes time with a partner to get it right. I still love having sex. So if I wont cum tomorrow, what am I suppose to say? I would imagine he will ask.. so what do you do then?
    I mean I cant be the only one who has troubles orgasming first times, how do you approach it?

    I love giving bj. But I woudl imagine it is not that safe to give it to the new partner during the first time. Do you usually do that? With a condom then? What do guys think?

    Wish me luck, I need some good
    I'm 25 btw and just out from a 4 yr relationship.

  2. #2
    greywolf
    Platinum Member greywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Good question...
    Age
    30
    Posts
    10,343
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    12
    You say no, but that you enjoyed it.

  3. #3
    RedDress
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    5,532
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    137
    1) For the orgasm issue, I agree. Just say that no, you didn't but that you enjoyed it. You can casually follow it up with an explanation that it's not a big deal and that you didn't even expect to have one with him just yet because he's a new partner. That it will just take time. He will likely want to know what it is that you like, etc. It's a great conversation to have.

    2) Unless you have open sores in your mouth or he has open sores... I don't see how giving a bj is more risky than having sex. Most STDs need to either enter through the genitals or the blood. The skin-based ones (ie: herpes) won't be prevented with a condom anyways. Others can correct me... but I don't think a condom is required. If you want to go the condom route, get a flavoured one... because... ick. They taste TERRIBLE. A think a better question is... if you plan on asking him to be tested... why aren't you asking him to be tested BEFORE you have sex/oral? Isn't this the safest route of all? (Beyond abstinence, of course)

  4. #4
    LanceVanceDance
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    647
    Thanked
    4
    Make sure to tell him you don't orgasm easily (perhaps beforehand?) lest he thinks it's his fault and becomes insecure.

  5. #5
    Lonewing
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    SW US
    Age
    34
    Posts
    6,079
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    162
    First time, let him find out how easily you orgasm - you might surprise yourself if he's gifted or your mind is in the right place. Telling him up front, that might take the naturalness out of it - you'll have plenty of time to address this later if you stick with him.

    Oral...silly girl, that's the quickest way to hook a man...naughty!

  6. #6
    abitbroken
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    15,758
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1339
    Well...have you done anything with him (made out? kissed? gotten hot and heavy?) Most people don't say "i am scheduled to have sex tomorrow." The decision to have sex usually comes after a little fooling around, and then deciding that you are both okay going all the way and then letting it happen when the moment is right. You shouldn't worry about having an orgasm if you have a trusting relationship. Take the pressure off.

  7. #7
    PaintWithLight
    Platinum Member PaintWithLight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3,226
    Thanked
    354
    Wow. Wait. This is more than just first time jitters. If you are going to be in an exclusive relationship, then you should both be tested and share results. Also, haven't you experimented with each other a little during the time leading up to tomorrow? He should know a little about your body by now and you have planted information during the make out sessions: I really love THIS because intercourse can take awhile for me to climax.

    Or is this just a hookup and you are trying to minimize your risk and chances at a horrible time? I am a little bit surprised that you are already going into this thinking you will not orgasm and he might have an STD. It is good to be safe but this sounds a random hookup that someone has schedule to happen, ready or not. Think about it and wait if you need to.

  8. #8
    annalisa84
    Gold Member annalisa84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    528
    Gender
    Female
    Oh we have fooled around, it was so hot and steamy.
    And tomorrow I'm supposed to go first time.. overnight. So I guess it's gonna lead to that
    I have no problem with that.

    I've been single some months now and ready to have some.. pleasure

    He is a nice guy but we have not had the "have you been tested" talk. I mean I would have sex with a condom for sure.
    I was such not sure how to address the not orgasming part as I dont really want him to think it is anyhow his fault.

    And the bj question.. well, i have never been thinking about it nor done it with such a new partner. But he is sooo good when we make out, so it might lead to something wild in the bedroom But bj with a condom is not my first pick.

    Thanks everyine for such a useful advise!

  9. #9
    greywolf
    Platinum Member greywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Good question...
    Age
    30
    Posts
    10,343
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    12
    Just know that even with condoms, you risk getting herpes or HPV. However, HPV can't be tested in men anyway.

  10. #10
    fracas
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NC
    Age
    36
    Posts
    120
    Gender
    Male
    Definitely tell him ahead of time that you don't cum easily. My last girlfriend told me before we ever became intimate that she had much difficulty getting and staying wet and that she rarely came during sex (she would need to do it herself afterward).
    Knowing that beforehand made me enjoy sex so much more because we found that it was just that she was incompatible with her previous partners. She got wetter than any other girl I'd ever been with, and would cum so much more easily and frequently, as well. It's a big ego boost for the guy.
    No guarantee the same will happen for you, but I'd recommend you tell him just in case.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Should I Tell Her I'm a Virgin?
Hi everyone, I've been dating this girl for about 2 months now. Everything is somehow going very well - I use the word "somehow" because i'm a
Husband Won't Go Down on Me
SO.....when we first started dating I gave him oral and he didn't return, I never had oral from a guy, or a girl,,lol,,,but I just thought since we
I have no interest in having any form of intimacy with my boyfriend.
Hi, first ever post on here - I'm just in need of some advice on something. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 29 - we have been together for almost a
With the fiancÚ
So we are getting hitched in July I reckon. I'm not going to lie our sex life hasn't been all that great the past few months, I understand that w/
Gentlemanly/shy guy feeling inept with initiating sex
We have been dating only 2 1/2 months, and have taken things intentionally slow. So we are just now getting to the "getting intimate" stage. We've
Did my Military Husband Cheat on Me?
Hello again! I have another question I would love to get advice on. So.....my husband was caught texting a coworker. How did I catch him you ask?
Question
I am a white girl and have always had the "black" guy fantasy. I have recently met a black guy I connect with. I was looking for more a fling (he
Featured Threads
Ugly pictures
We had a professional photographer come in at work. I used the photo and put it on my dating profile. But when my Roomie saw it,she said take it
Not being "too" available.
I posted a few days ago about the younger guy I've been dating for 6 months and how he doesn't want to use BG/GF labels. I got some great feedback
I am having difficulty accepting my boyfriends bisexuality for no reason
So here goes; the main reason why I got this account here is probably because I am so ashamed of myself and that because I am surrounded by either
relationship advice
hi... I'll start by saying i'm a guy, i just really needed a woman's point of view for this, so i hope you can help me! My mom is paying for my
Seeing ex tomorrow..so confused. Need advice!
Hi everyone. I'm really confused with my ex. Dated two years; he was very hurt by the breakup. He hasn't dated many people, and I was his first
Needing advice and/or support with ex girlfriend
Ok. Long story short... I ended up in a serious relationship with my best friend of 7 years. The last 3 years of which we were in a serious
I really need some advice and a outside opinion
I really don't know what to do ... My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now she is no longer attracted to me but tells me she loves
Ask For Advice

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •