Winning the war of heartache: Post mortem autopsy....

Peeps, When it seems as though love has left you holding your bleeding and crushed heart in your hands, you might read a few things that can save your life.

Just to let you know you're not going to die by thinking of that one person that was your whole world. I didn't realize I could have someone that meant so much to me. I spent 2 years of complete and utter love for a woman that seemed like she was perfected by God himself, only to find that after a rare fight, she just snapped and ended it.

I have been reeling in pain....my heart couldn't have felt worse, but I've been searching through the autopsy of the body of the relationship. Post-mortem theory: She was too young to understand real love. Sure, she's capable of feeling it, but walking through fire and hell for the person that was your everything only to be outside of her world completely without a fight, speaks volumes. Don't get me wrong, I played my part in this painful experience and there are always going to be 2 sides of the story, but I've found solace, peace, and sanctuary in the realization that God saved me from something much worse down the road. This girl isn't deserving of an incredible love like I offer. I'll find someone and I'll reapproach love without fear since another girl's opportunity shouldn't be punished for this girl's lack of understanding the power of real love.

Will I miss her? Sure i will, in fact, I still love her very much. What am I really going to miss? Her companonship, the want to grow old with someone that you felt was the one person who would never leve your side. The person that you felt unconditional love for... Honestly, is it really her that I'll miss? Moments in time, yes, I'll miss them...I'll miss that I didn't mind belonging to something bigger than me. I completely forgive her for whatever she thinks are solid reasons not to fight. Do I want her back? Hard question to answer since I loved that man I was with her. I felt like heaven... only to have this hell handed to me... nah...i want who i thought she was, i don't want the person she is today.

She was capable of doing something i never thought possible. When love is so hard to find in the real world, why is it so easyto give up? Who am I to say? I'm 42, feel great about my life, not bad looking, in great shape and I'm responsive and romantic...not hard to sell to a good girl. Meh....really great girls are difficult to find...but I'm in the hunt boys...I'm in the hunt... So the real thing that will be missed is the version of who I thought I was. I was really proud of the love that I had for her....I was selfish with it...made my own big mistakes, but not one person could say I didn't love that relationship completely. The past is the past. You aren't going anywhere by looking behind you...especially something that doesn't deserve your most precious gift...the sincere want to find a love that is as great as your own. Capable, fun, forever strong kind of love...can't just find that in any club...

The most freeing aspect of healing? Knowing that I'm not stuck with someone who didn't know the depth of my love and damn sure isn't worthy of its great potential. I'm no one's sucker....life is beautiful, I plan on making sure that the next girl who is open to an incredible love will know its power and the certainty of wanting something long lasting. I'll trust again....you will too... you're reading this in hope that you'll get over this incredible pain you feel. You are not alone....I'm just glad that I'm past those points and ready to find my incredible match....

If you feel like your pain is unbearable, I'm open to emails and sincere friendship...

After I read this it really brought some calm to me, like a light bulb clicked that in my situation she didn't have the love for me that I did for her. Looking back at her past and her patterns I too believe the woman that left me doesn't love as deeply and unconditionally as I do.

I suddenly realized I don't want or need her back because she doesn't deserve me. The person I fell in love with no longer exists.

Again thank you.

You're very welcome! I was in agony until I realized that not only am I in control of my emotional wellbeing, but why would I want someone who wasn't smart enough to accept the love offered to them that another couldn't supply? I feel so much more empowered knowing that I had an incomparable love to anything she could find with the guys that are out there in today's dating scene.... karma really does work. Take care!

T.

Thank you thank you thank you. That one really helped me! I relate SOO much. I don't want someone who's going to walk away because of arguments. I want someone who will stay with me through thick and thin and keep communicating, working and trusting. God knows what I am willing to give, and if he didn't appreciate that, I will find someone who will. I already know they are out there, because look at all of us on here!

Thanks again for a great post.

Looking back at her past and her patterns I too believe the woman that left me doesn't love as deeply and unconditionally as I do.

Exactly.

Anytime! This info saved me after I thought about the raw facts!

T.

Me too mine is too young to understand true love and the fact she moved onto something new the very next day proves this. Thanks for picking my head up off the ground.

This girl isn't deserving of an incredible love like I offer.

Great post....I relate to every paragraph*

I notice your join date is Nov 2010 so welcome to ENA*

K2* 8)