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Thread: There is a certain subsection of the population that will never find a partner

  1. #11

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    Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes
    This is true to some degree, but not completely. Who we are, how we look do really play a role in our chances in dating. I don't think it's fair to say that they only have themselves to blame. But I agree that a negative attitude is the worst. Even attractive people lose chances because of their attitude.
    I've had chances, at least I think I have. However, I've never been able to reciprocate.

    I wish there were dating classes, or some place you could learn how to date. I guess I just have to bite the bullet and do it, regardless.

  2. #12

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    Originally Posted by LightbulbSun
    I've had chances, at least I think I have. However, I've never been able to reciprocate.

    I wish there were dating classes, or some place you could learn how to date. I guess I just have to bite the bullet and do it, regardless.
    It was a general statement, not directed at you. You have to work on your anxiety issues I think. That's what holding you back the most.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes
    This is true to some degree, but not completely. Who we are, how we look do really play a role in our chances in dating. I don't think it's fair to say that they only have themselves to blame. But I agree that a negative attitude is the worst. Even attractive people lose chances because of their attitude.
    I think when your attitude changes, you change too, inside and out. If you're willing to make a change(s) in your life and be happy, then you'll do those things, including losing weight (for health/appearance), etc.

    I've known a lot of people and I can tell you that the ONLY people who are left alone in the end are those with bad attitudes who don't make an effort on themselves or others. So really in end, the only problem boils down to themselves. I think there are people out for you once you're willing to make that 'tude change.

    Heck, even my boyfriend was alone for almost a decade before he met me. why? Because he didn't make an effort to meet people or do anything. He just continued to go to work and kept to himself. Then, he decided to make changes and reach out and he found me.

    I really, really do believe that there is someone out there for everyone if you are willing to better yourself as a person and are open to them.

    Lightbulb,

    I don't think that forum is good for you. at all. really, don't go there anymore, it will make you feel like crap. Come here instead. (that is, if you feel happier here). Part of breaking the cycle is severing yourself from people who make you feel negatively needlessly. Now of course, there will be negative people you can't "sever" easily (like a boss) but a forum? That's easy.

    I think you're afraid of the unknown and change. It's ok to be afraid of change, most people are, in fact. But don't let it hinder you. Change is a part of life. If you want things to be different, then you need change. You say that you're scared of sex and the possible bad consequences of a relationship but I think you know deep down that you still really want to be in one.

    I've told you this before on other threads and I think you need to break out of your comfort zone. I remember you saying one time that you were going to go out and get apps for jobs. Did you do that? I think you'll feel better if you make a "plan" on what to do.

  4. #14

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    Sure there are people who will never marry but it's a small percentage. I've read that 90% of the population marries at least once so almost everyone will marry. Even those people who state they never want to marry will eventually marry (which is why I take those comments lightly in the beginning). Out of the 10% who never marry are gay people (this of course is changing and curious how this will affect the stats), people who plan a religious vocation (priests, nuns, etc), people who just never plan to marry or never meet the right person. I'm sure if you take these people out of the stats, I'm sure it's an even higher percentage of people who marry. I've even seen people marry later than the average, and the average is going up. You are 28 so I honestly wouldn't worry yet. I know many who married first time in their 40's.

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  6. #15

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    Well, I guess we just have to disagree on this. I think it's easy to say that all people can find love and perhaps is something that most people want/need to hear. But that doesn't make it true. Just like the fact that not all people can be rich in the current system, not all people can have fullfilling love lives with the way things are in this world. Now obviously trying and perhaps a good attitude can increase their chances...but does that guarantee them having success in love? no, some will succeed and some won't.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

    I understand what you're saying. I think if someone has the time/is willing to look EVERYWHERE for a partner (net, hometown, etc.) then they will find something. Maybe it won't be perfect, but it will be something (nothing's perfect). There are millions of possible partners out there for each of us, some better than others, all have some possibility of making us happy. But its on us to find them.

    I am saying this to LightBulb not because it's what he or I need/want to hear, but because it's what I've seen and I truly do believe it.

    But yeah, agree to disagree. I respect your opinion.

  8. #17

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    [QUOTE=Fudgie;4529204]I guess we will have to agree to disagree.

    I understand what you're saying. I think if someone has the time/is willing to look EVERYWHERE for a partner (net, hometown, etc.) then they will find something. Maybe it won't be perfect, but it will be something (nothing's perfect). There are millions of possible partners out there for each of us, some better than others, all have some possibility of making us happy. But its on us to find them.

    I am saying this to LightBulb not because it's what he or I need/want to hear, but because it's what I've seen and I truly do believe it.

    But yeah, agree to disagree. I respect your opinion.

    Something? yeah, I guess most people can find "something". That something might be the least attractive to them or cheats on them and break their hearts to pieces. What I meant was a good desirable relationship. Most people can settle to an unhappy relationship for sure.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sparkly Eyes
    Something? yeah, I guess most people can find "something". That something might be the least attractive to them or cheats on them and break their hearts to pieces. What I meant was a good desirable relationship. Most people can settle to an unhappy relationship for sure.
    When I said "something" I meant AT LEAST a happy companionship. That's what I consider "something". Maybe it won't be a really passionate relationship or ground-breaking, but it's "something" and it's happy and no one is getting cheated on/heart broken.

    Sorry just wanted to get that cleared up.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member BriarRose's Avatar
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    Yes, not everyone finds a partner. Let's just say I am well past my prime and I never married. My chances of ever marrying at my age are statistically remote. But even I can admit that is extremely rare. Most people will find someone.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member FathomFear's Avatar
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    I just turned 31 a few weeks ago and am in the same situation. Alone, never had sex or even been on a date, etc.

    I suspect I'll end up being alone forever even though that's not what I want. I occasionally go through periods where this makes me very sad and depressed, but most of the time I am numb to it. I just spend my time occupying myself with work, books, video games, etc. As much as I'd like to experience a relationship and physical/emotional intimacy, I just keep pushing to occupy my time in other ways.

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