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Thread: Ex said bad things about me after the breakup. I don't know why.

  1. #1
    BlueAngle
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    Ex said bad things about me after the breakup. I don't know why.

    I am in a weird circumstance. My boyfriend and my ex used to be best friends. My ex did not treat me good and that is why we broke up. We weren't together for long.

    When me and my ex were dating, my ex talked to his ex best friend (my current boyfriend) about me. He told him everything in details for example what was being said during a fight or even the colors of my underwear was being told. After me and my ex broke up, about 6 months later, his ex best friend started to talk to me and comforted me since he knew that my ex wasn't nice to me. My boyfriend at that time, he secretly had a crush on me despite of all the bad things my ex said about me. He believed in me and my ability.

    My ex did not care when we decided to date. The decision was surprisingly unexpected for both sides. I asked my boyfriend to ask my ex to see if he's fine if we date. My boyfriend did asked him at that time and my ex said, "I don't care and in fact she was not even in my thought before u brought it up."

    So we started to date and he is the best boyfriend ever. I am more in love with him each day.

    But the problem is my ex would say things to my boyfriend once in a while to remind him that me and him used to date. My ex still talks bad about me and acts like I am his trash and that my boyfriend is dating his leftover. He says things to remind my boyfriend that we hooked up and the intimacy details. My boyfriend was well aware of everything and knew everything before we started dating. So nothing is told by my ex surprises him. But it is not healthy for our relationship if this keeps on happening. My ex did that again last night and he was again revealing the intimacy details of the past relationship. My boyfriend questioned me about it last night and we had a small fight because of it. I realized that this can't keep on going. Before I was being miss nicy two-shoe and ignored the whole situation. I even told my boyfriend that it's ok to be his friend and the past is the past.

    I can't take this anymore and this needs to stop. My boyfriend deleted my ex from fb and is no longer communicate to my ex. But I have a question. Why does my ex keep on doing this? Also what can I do to prevent this from happening? Should I have an open talk to my ex about it and maybe try to get an answer from him why is he doing this?

    Thanks everyone for reading.

  2. #2
    CloudedSoul
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    he's being jealous and resentful. It IS a hard thing to know that your best friend is now dating your ex, especially if love was involved. It's not a healthy situation.

  3. #3
    ForumGuy
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    He's doing it in an effort to keep some power over you. Take that power away from him by deleting him from both of your lives.

  4. #4
    CloudedSoul
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    and yeah you should have a talk with your ex cause no matter what you have to be respected.

  5. #5
    BlueAngle
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    Quote Originally Posted by CloudedSoul [Register to see the link]
    he's being jealous and resentful. It IS a hard thing to know that your best friend is now dating your ex, especially if love was involved. It's not a healthy situation.
    So my ex is the victim in this circumstance?

    I am trying to get closure here and trying to understand how my ex is feeling.

  6. #6
    BlueAngle
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    I am trying to talk to him on aim but he never replied even though he is on.

  7. #7
    Iakasot
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    He's not gonna admit to being hurt but he is. There isn't much that could hurt more than how your relationship ended. You're not gonna make him feel better by talking about it. A lot of the resentment probably comes from how you were wrong in your fights, but you were the one to dump him anyway even though you were wrong. I'm not saying you were wrong, but in my experience if I felt like an ex was wrong, and she was the one who dumped me, it hurt more. I know I was right because my point of view was based on logic and facts.

  8. #8
    WockaWocka
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlueAngle [Register to see the link]
    I am trying to talk to him on aim but he never replied even though he is on.
    I wouldn't try to contact him at all. First if it leaks back to your current BF it may look bad for you, and second you're not going to change his mind. His motives are transparent, he wants to hold some power over your current BF and/or ruin any chance of your two being happy together. It's a great sign that your BF cut off contact with him and you'd be well advised to do the same.

    Good luck.

  9. #9
    ForumGuy
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    Quote Originally Posted by WockaWocka [Register to see the link]
    if it leaks back to your current BF it may look bad for you
    There is no "if" about it, you know he would tell your BF. This ex must be cut....now.

  10. #10
    BlueAngle
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    I imed my ex and we talked. He said, "I don't care that you guys are dating." I asked him, "Then why did he keep on talking about me to my ex?" He said, "Because he asked." Then I asked my boyfriend if he ever asked, then my bf said that he usually talked about a subject then out of no where, linked it tome. I guess my ex lied. But I told my ex that the subject of me should never be brought up and try to avoid it as much as he can. He said, "I will try my best." I told him that we should let the past go and everyone should be friends. He said, "Yes, let's move on." I said, "We have moved on."

    I am not planning to talk to him ever again after talking to him yesterday. I just want to conclude things with my ex and being nice to him enough in hoping that he would let things go. I hope after this he would never try to initiate a conversation about me to my bf again.

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