Super outgoing guy is really friendly with everyone else but ignores me...

There is a guy at work who is loud, outgoing, really really friendly to everyone in the office. However, he acts like he can't stand me....only me. Everyone else is his "best friend". When he comes into my office to talk to the person I share the office with, he avoids looking at me and will turn his back to me while he speaks.

If I manage to ever catch his eye, his eyes either dart off quickly side to side or he makes this odd face where his eyebrows raise up really high and his eyes almost bulge out. hahaha. Other times it appears like he is laughing to himself and puts his head down. As soon as he is around someone else, it's back to being Mr. Friendly.

When I try to initiate a conversation, his response is a one word answer followed by him running out of the room. It has been like this since the first day I met him. I am an attractive girl, maybe 20lbs heavier than I would like, but not ugly by any means. But I have to say that even some of the girls he is super flirty with are not in the attractive realm.

I feel as though I am the biggest loser on earth when he treats me like this. It's really confusing and actually really hurtful. I just don't get it...why is he so friendly with everyone else and refuses to acknowldege me? The tension I feel from him makes me really down on myself.

I use that as a self defense mechanism when I'm attracted to a girl, but don't want to admit to it or show it.

you can't control everyone. there's not point in worrying about it.

Perhaps he feels intimidated. He may secretly be crushing on you. You cantry talking to him more. The more you talk to him, the quicker he may become comfortable around you.

I use that as a self defense mechanism when I'm attracted to a girl, but don't want to admit to it or show it.

Out of curiosity, why would you not want to "admit" it?

You know, I noticed something interesting, oneshygal: In your original post you have not made even a single mention of liking him. You're concerned about whether he likes you, but if he did, there might not even be reciprocation!

There are lots of reasons not to admit to liking someone. Maybe your attraction is too strong, and you have to really do a good job of suppressing it so that you don't come off as a creep. Maybe she isn't the type of girl you want your friends to think you like. Maybe you don't wanna admit to yourself you like a girl even.

You know, I noticed something interesting, oneshygal: In your original post you have not made even a single mention of liking him. You're concerned about whether he likes you, but if he did, there might not even be reciprocation!

Actually, I had a thing for him right away...which is why I noticed how odd his behavior was toward me. I never told anyone though...I didn't want to start any office gossip and make it into a big thing.

The straight forward approach is the best with men. "Dude, you've been super nice to everyone else at work and pretty much ignored me. If you like me or something and are trying to overcompensate just tell me. Man up. If ____ (some person he talks to) just gave you 1 word answers, avoided eye contact, and left the room when you entered, how would you feel? If you have some prejudice or something, you should tell me too. If not, then I want in on the conversations, because you seem interesting and cool to talk to."

Perhaps he just doesn't like you - it can happen.

I had this same problem with my new-ish neighbor. I would see him chatting and getting to know all the other neighbors but he barely even looked at me for 2 months. Than after I took the initiative to say hi and show him that I wanted to get to know him he finally got super friendly to me too. But I can tell in the beginning he was super shy because he seemed so nervous and at loss for words. I think he is attracted to me because of how he is acting towards me once he started feeling more comfortable and he makes a ton of linging eye contact and gazes into my eyes for very long while not talking. He even said he wanted to see me more and sugested we make plans. But unfortunately for whatever reason since I started taking him up on his offer he is now back to acting like he doesnt notice me. Although he will say hi and still make the lingering eye contact with me. So I dont know. Men are weird! But I think if your the only one he acts differant around and he has no reason to not like you than it could definatly be a sign that he may secretely be interested but maybe he is afraid you dont feel the same way back or he is too shy to try to pursue more.

It sounds like he is attracted to you and becomes out of sorts when you are around, usually if you are THE ONLY ONE he does this with it means he feels very attracted or possibly intimidated as well and is too shy and anxious to do anything about it...sometimes it takes over and the guy can't ''act'' normally.

Okay, here's an update....

On Friday the office was pretty empty due to an off site meeting many coworkers were attending. I was deep in thought at my computer working on a project during the afternoon. Out of the blue, he bolts through my door and walks to the other side of the room and says "So what's up?!?!?!" just like he normally does with everyone else.

He took me completely off guard since he knew everyone was out of the office and he has never once come over other than to ask my officemate a question. Another thing is that my office is tucked away in the corner and away from any foot traffic. Anyways, I was a little stunned in the moment and didn't know what to say except "oh I'm just hanging out in here". I had the stupidest grin on my face and while my response was a failure I was very open to his gesture. He then started to move towards the door again and says "Ok, great. I'm glad we had this talk." And poof...he was gone.

Cut to Saturday night we had a work party and I casually made my way over to him about 2 times to work into the conversation. Each time he basically changed locations after a minute of me approaching. I guess I thought he was trying to open the channels of communication on Friday so I did the same on Saturday. But I got nothing but avoidance. So frustrating!!

Somehow it feels better just to write this here and get it out of my system. UGH!

OK - this may be way off base but it is possible that he is attracted to you but is avoiding you in public because he doesn't want anyone to know. If you get a chance talk to him when there is no one else there.

People have different ideas of what constitutes attractive. I know guys who have a thing for big noses, girls who like back hair, and men who adore women who are significantly overweight. It shouldn't have anything to do with your self esteem that a guy who you are attracted is attracted to women you think you are more attractive than.

I think it would be better to get some fresh air and date someone who wants to date you!