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Thread: She is flirting with my Boyfriend!!! Help me please before I act Crazy! :(

  1. #1
    Coconut Twin
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    She is flirting with my Boyfriend!!! Help me please before I act Crazy! :(

    I am at my bofriends, if you read my last post I talked about this girl who going out with my boyfriends housemate. Well i am feeling really sick, I am scared of flipping on my SO. I was chatting with her boyfriend about anything, just normal friendly stuff and then she gave me a dirty look, so just now they decided to go bed and I said goodnight.

    Then she comes downstairs where me and my.boyfriend are sitting wearing next to nothing, pretends to be looking for.something, bends down looks straight at my bf, he looks because hes.a guy and shes nearly naked.. both stare for one second then i get this sick feeling. Would he have shagged her if.I wasnt there? and her boyfriend? She's making advances at my bf.and.I don't like it. He is wondering wow Im acting odd! I want to end it.now.. i can't bear the thought of this girl purposely making me jealous, I already have anxkiety problems which most of the time aren't justified but this time it is. I am trying to hold back my tears..

    Please guys help me to not to act crazy! Why she doing this, he cares for me. Does she want to * * * * .him? Please.help, im scared of how.im going to act!

  2. #2
    HappyHealing
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    It make sense that you feel terrible seeing someone openly flirt with your SO and he reciprocates, you must be dealing with a lot.

    Give it sometime before you make any decisions. She certainly have been disrespectful to you & your BF and her BF. If your BF was flirting with her (not just your observation or interpretation) that displays disrespect to you and your relationship - in my opinion. This is where it is not so black and white. Some people are ok with behaviors like this by their partners, some people see it as a deal breaker, some people might get upset and let it go. Everyone's boundary is different. I don't have an absolute right way to recommend, but I'd say set clear boundary with your SO about where to draw the line.

    "He's a male therefore he needs to stare" is not an acceptable excuse in my book. Has your BF displayed at other times of any disrespectful behavior? Have you two talked about issues such as this?

    One thing i would definitely NOT do, is to torture myself with thoughts such as "will she **** him" "why she's doing this"... etc. it serves no better purpose than to agonise yourself over someone's behavior beyond your control. There will be lots of temptations as one go through life, situations where it puts one's integrity on the test, it's how your SO will deal with them matters to your relationship.

    I hope you can take sometime first to let those high flying emotions settle, then discuss this with your SO after some good thought on the issue of setting boundaries.

  3. #3
    Coconut Twin
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    hi

    Its killing me. If i talk to my boyfriend about it now, it will make him angry and he will start shouting because in the past when I have panicked like this it wasnt justified, he will think irs all in my head..
    He quickly looked at her when she bent down and then she looked at him at that split second so both there eyes met briefly.. He doesmt flirt, yes he does look if he sees a pretty girl in the street and vice versa. I donct mind if he looks briefly, he's a man but when they were caught diong it together for a second, it bothered me so bad. He acts odd arouns her like he knows he shouldnt be looking..

    I really hurt so bad, my heart is aching so bad I want to rip it out, the pain is unbearable. I want this pain out of my body. I need to be exorcised this is too much..

  4. #4
    HeartGoesOn
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    What would have happened if her boyfriend came downstairs, and was wearing "next to nothing," and looks at you who is also sitting there, "wearing next to nothing?"

    I think the first step in solving this is...everyone keeps their clothes on while other people are in the house.

  5. #5
    Coconut Twin
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    All of us have manners but her. She is attention seeking. My boyfriend out no supermodel so what is it she wants? She can have him. I really hate games, shes trying to mess with my head and this is pure evil!!

  6. #6
    capilot
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    Quote Originally Posted by notahopeinhell [Register to see the link]
    .... I was chatting with her boyfriend ... she gave me a dirty look.

    ... She's making advances at my bf.and.I don't like it.
    Have you considered the possibility that she thought you were flirting with her boyfriend and decided to get even?

  7. #7
    Coconut Twin
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    i was fully dressed

    and she was half naked and bemding down, glancing in my bfs direction to see if he was looking and she wasn"t saying anything.. just silence for that second. Very uncomfortable.. we were all together when i was talking to her boyfriemd, i gave eye contact to her to include her also.

    For all I know my boyfriend will think i am bonkers as he has probably already forgotten what he did, oh and now that he has fallen asleep, I wonder if there is any point bringing it up. I really want to though. I think I will make the decision to break up with him because i know if I bring this up he will say that I am trying to ruin his friendships. I really give up, this is torture!!

  8. #8
    SS01
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    Notahopeinhell

    notahopeinhell,

    Don't break up with him, I know this incident may has caused you great distress, but because as you say, he is a guy and looking is normal for him, he is not to blame, the girl is just childish and mean to get even with you.

    Breaking up with him just because of HER is not right imo.
    You are very sensitive but please learn to let things go, and I know how you feel. Yes it hurts alot but it will pass. You seem like a sweet girl, I wish you luck in a good recovery from this ordeal!!

  9. #9
    guynextdoor
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    I don't think your bf has any say on how she dresses and yes he looked. Most men would. You were there you looked too, should he be mad at you looking at her too? It wasn't like he flirted with her, if he did then yes he disrepected you.

  10. #10
    Coconut Twin
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    Sorry I know I have to be less sensitive! Thank you for all your posts, I really appreciate your opinions and advice!

    I feel gutted also because of the way she can act at any given moment, it makes me tres tres uncomfortable.
    From now on I will not chat with her man and then we will see if she carries on. Also in the summer me and her botfruend were talking about the band 'yes' and she acted all off ish for the rest of tge day. For the sake of peace I will say very few words to her man from now. If it is really bothering her I will respect her wishes even though she hasn't verbalised anything..

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