Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: Boyfriend has poor hygiene

  1. #1
    CarnelianButterfly
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Too far from home
    Age
    35
    Posts
    4,874
    Gender
    Female

    Unhappy Boyfriend has poor hygiene

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and as that time has progressed his hygiene has become very bad. I'm getting to the point where I'm grossed out by his lack of care. He doesn't shower often enough for his body odor level, he has very dirty finger nails, his breath can be very bad, and his feet are incredibly horrible smelling. He also has a bad habit of wearing dirty clothes.


    Its very hard for me to deal with this. I am really having a lot of issues with it. I don't want to kiss him because of his breath or be near him because he can be really bad smelling. I have no idea what lead to him being like this.


    I also have a lot of trouble with him not washing his hands when he's been eating greasy food and then touching me. I hate hate hate grease stains on my clothes because I can't afford to buy anything if I have to toss a dress shirt that won't come clean.


    Its hard for me to make an issue of this with him because I really don't want to hurt his feelings, but I'm getting to a point where it might just drive me away from him. I have no idea how to broach the subject. I've tried to coax him into the shower with me on multiply occasions, I've tried getting him to wash his sheets more, encourage him to chew gum, and it seems my indirect ways are not working.


    I have asked him to stop doing things in the past, but it was because he was actually hurting me and it was a pretty bad thing for me. That was an easy situation to say “Look this needs to end”, but with this I have no idea where to start or how to avoid hurting him.

  2. #2
    Callacova
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    342
    Eww that sounds repulsive, what a slob. Tell him to clean his act up (literally) or you're gone

  3. #3
    sweetpea03

    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    1,822
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    You just have to be straight forward. He cannot read your mind, so just talk to him about it. You can say you care about him and his well being and want him to try to be more cleanly. Tell him you don't want him to continue this bad habit and want him to be more healthy, by keeping his body clean.

  4. #4
    CarnelianButterfly
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Too far from home
    Age
    35
    Posts
    4,874
    Gender
    Female
    I know a direct approach will be the most effective, but I really don't like conflict and its hard for me to speak up.



    He really is a good guy, he's been doing a lot to help me find a job. I feel ungrateful to an extent because of my problems with him not taking care of himself.



    I do not want to be a nagging girlfriend. Our relationship is very easy going and has had very little conflict.

  5. #5
    /Jake/
    Gold Member /Jake/'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    840
    Thanked
    4
    I hope you don't take this in offense, but imo the biggest problem here is you're not being direct & open with him.

    A successful relationship requires open communication.

    When you're hugging him say something along the lines of, "honey? when was the last time you took a shower? you need to take a shower!"

    Half joking start directing him by the shoulders toward the shower.

    He'll get the hint, if not, be even more open about it.

  6. #6
    maalox
    Bronze Member maalox's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    New Location, Same Great Servitude
    Posts
    204
    Gender
    Male
    I have a win-win proposition: Drag him into the shower and show him a good time. He'll want to shower more.

  7. #7
    Jd1983
    Platinum Member Jd1983's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Age
    33
    Posts
    5,274
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    Wow, I would be so turned off by this. Honestly, the sooner you talk to him about this the better.

    You can't expect him to be a mind reader and if there's something that bothers you, you should voice your concerns to him.

    There really is no way to sugarcoat it without him taking it as an offense. Regardless of it all, it is affecting your relationship with him and it needs to be addressed asap.

    Let him know that you really care about him and you want him to start taking care of himself.

  8. #8
    CarnelianButterfly
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Too far from home
    Age
    35
    Posts
    4,874
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by maalox [Register to see the link]
    I have a win-win proposition: Drag him into the shower and show him a good time. He'll want to shower more.
    I have taken him to the shower several times and done just that, but it doesn't work any more. I mention those fun shower activities as a way to coax him in there with me and have end up showering on my own.

  9. #9
    CarnelianButterfly
    Platinum Member CarnelianButterfly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Too far from home
    Age
    35
    Posts
    4,874
    Gender
    Female
    He actually washed his sheets this week, its a great relief, his roommate beat me to the punch, though, he complained about the smell. My boyfriend has complained to me in the past that he thinks his roommate has a stupid sensitive sense of smell and gets annoyed when bad odors are brought up. Another one of his friends razzed him pretty badly about the foot odor and my boyfriend said he was self consious. I suggested he buy new shoes that would actually let his feet breathe, he wears close-toed crocs all the time. I just need to get him to the mall where they have crocs with natural fiber uppers.

  10. #10
    Ariel85
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    3,695
    Thanked
    1
    Honestly, I'm more concerned as to what is going on with YOU that you would stay with someone with such disgusting habits. His behavior is NOT normal, and I suspect you have a serious self-esteem issue to tolerate such vileness.

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
Boyfriend and sister
My bf and his sister are very close and talk everyday. But recently I found out that they've been talking about our decision making about kids
How to deal with being ignored and why people do it
Recently I met a guy who fell in love with me all of a sudden and we connected very quickly. I told him I wanted to be with him but wanted to take
Parents are controlling and trying to ruin my relationship
[I](Note this is a long post).[/I] Long story cut short: Boyfriend and I after two years with each other broke up in October last year due to
He's not speaking to me after argument
I admit I was in the wrong and I can be quite moody, especially the time of the month. Anyway we had a fantastic week this week since it was
Boyfriend stressing..
My boyfriend (24) and I (19) have been dating for 2 months and it's been amazing but he also suffers from schizophrenia & hasn't been taking his
UPDATE! I broke up with him! what do you think really happened ? Im confused.
I have decided to break up with my ’‘boyfriend’’ I could not stand his erratic behaviour anymore, yesterday he came for his grad, and he messaged on
What the heck can he possibly be up to? Don't know what to do!
I am really bothered with my boyfriend of almost 3 years, I really don’t know if I can take his word or not anymore, he told me that I can stay over

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
my boyfriend mom is my boyfriends girlfriend, thats just the way it seem!
Ive known my boyfriend for years, but, we never dated UNTIL a year ago. And some things has start to bother me about him and his mom relationship
Disconnect
This might sound weird I never brought it up to anyone. Does anyone else feel a huge disconnect. What I mean I always feel like I'm just reading a
Wife thought I shaved body hair I never had, is she cheating
I had my shirt off this morning and my wife of 23 years asked why I shaved my shoulder hair. I have never had body hair from birth on shoulders
5 years together, no reason for splitting..
Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this. Um, so. My girlfriend of 5 years (i'm 25) split with me. And i'm torturing myself over not
How do you know when it's Love?
I've been dating a man since early November. I met him through mutual friends and we spent a lot of time being friends only before we started dating
Tired of being alone
I work two jobs and go to school, I only have one night a week where I am off before 10pm and on those days I'm off at 6:00. My life is crazy but
Playing the field - When do you stop talking with other people and go exclusive?
I'm about two months into the dating scene after getting out of a four year relationship. I've matched with a number of women on Tinder and Bumble
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •