Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39

Thread: Cheating during a long-term relationship isn't as bad as doing it within a marriage.....

  1. #1
    yeawutever
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,307
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5

    Cheating during a long-term relationship isn't as bad as doing it within a marriage.....

    Apart from the STD or pregnancy spreadings (let's take away that for a moment), why do some people get so emotionally to the point of not eating, depressed for days, or develop trusting issues if they weren't even engaged to that person.

    I can understand if it's a fiance(e) you're planning on living with, sharing income taxes and even forming a family after getting married but a boyfriend/girlfriend??

    First, if it's only a relationship there was nothing other than feelings bonding you to that person. What I meant by nothing is financial cost, a house, payments, children, etc.

    Second, you can break up at anytime if you're only dating but it'll be very difficult once married or if you had the marriage date, already bought the house, ring, etc.... only to have this happening to you.

    Third, I know cheating is still wrong either way but it isn't as devastating as betrayal after a marriage. If they cheat while on your relationship, so what? You might take your anger and energy yelling at them or sending them to hell, telling them it's over but once it's over with, it's done... easily (unlike in marriages, you would need to file for divorce, get a lawyer, etc.).

  2. #2
    arcadefire
    Platinum Member arcadefire's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    2,382
    Gender
    Female
    I think cheating in any relationship (legally married or not) is just as bad. It doesn't matter what title you put on your relationship - you two are committed to each other and a part of that is being faithful. There may not be as much financial or legal or whatever complications for a break up, but a break up is a break up. There is still a lot of emotional attachment, history, time spent, etc. that cannot be repaired. And the hurt is still the same. For some, it's not so easy to walk away from a person you've invested so much time and emotions in. You can't measure "which is worse" based solely on money alone.

  3. #3
    yeawutever
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,307
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by arcadefire [Register to see the link]
    I think cheating in any relationship (legally married or not) is just as bad. It doesn't matter what title you put on your relationship - you two are committed to each other and a part of that is being faithful. There may not be as much financial or legal or whatever complications for a break up, but a break up is a break up. There is still a lot of emotional attachment, history, time spent, etc. that cannot be repaired. And the hurt is still the same. For some, it's not so easy to walk away from a person you've invested so much time and emotions in. You can't measure "which is worse" based solely on money alone.
    I guess I'm only stating this from my point of view. Though I have never been cheated on (not that I know of), I'm not the type of woman that would go cry for months over a loser. I was always taught that if you fall down, you stand up again, wipe the dirt off yourself and go on as if nothing happen.

    When I broke up with my boyfriend (it wasn't cheating but something else I didn't tolerate either) it was easy and a relieve for me. Perhaps the following day I felt a bit weird but afterwards it was nothing.

  4. #4
    Cognitive_Canine
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    17,569
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    I take long term relationships very seriously, ring or not. It may be harder to break up because of things like finances and legal issues. But, the pain of a broken heart doesn't care about those things.

  5. #5
    miie
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    chicago
    Age
    34
    Posts
    165
    I think cheating is bad whether you are just bf/gf or actually married or engaged. Its still cheating. I agree that if you were married cheating was involved, it would be harder to recover as you could have a house, money and children all invovled. It would be harder to walk away quicker..

    That said tho, i dont think it hurts any less just because you are not married. You have still made a commitment to that person and they broke it. I think its just as easy to cry if you or if you arn't married. The trust was broken. A relationship has been broken. Either Way it hurts.

  6. #6
    Cognitive_Canine
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    17,569
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    which is worse?

    Being with someone for 8 years, never married, and finding out they cheated?

    Or being with someone for 1 year, married, and finding out they cheated?

  7. #7
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Yeah, come back and tell us that when you were in love and were cheated on.

  8. #8
    dancingcolors
    Platinum Member dancingcolors's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Kauai, Hawaii
    Posts
    1,200
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Amen to the last post.

  9. #9
    yeawutever
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,307
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by Cognitive_Canine [Register to see the link]
    which is worse?

    Being with someone for 8 years, never married, and finding out they cheated?

    Or being with someone for 1 year, married, and finding out they cheated?
    I can't really answer that because I wouldn't stay with a man that long without any engagement date. My time limit would have long expired by the 2nd year and he would be my ex already but if I were to choose which one is worst, I'll still go for the second time. Though it was only 1 year of marriage, there will be more complications within that short time.
    On the first example, yes you'll never get back those years and your youth got wasted on a loser but sometimes it's the person's fault for staying too long on a dead-end relationship and ignoring the signs. There are always hints when someone is cheating or has become bored in the relationship.

  10. #10
    Cognitive_Canine
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    17,569
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    A lot of people do not wish to get married. That does not mean it's a 'dead end relationship'.

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Confession: Ending an affair
Hi everyone. I recently ended a long distance affair....I am disclosing this now because it's pretty imperative to my healing. My ex Mam is
Wife hit on by coworker at a funeral?
How's it going everyone? About 2 years ago, my wife of 20 years starting mentioning a male coworker more and more during everyday conversation. Big
Cheated on my boyfriend whilst out of it on drink/drugs
While i ended up getting completely wrecked at a concert with a friend. We went to a club and then a party where I was way beyond my limit of what
How to move on?
Hi. I have an interesting situation and I don't know what to do. I've been married for a little over a year. Our marriage has been happy. I
Finding out you're the other woman/ complicated
I'm sorry for the long story. So let me start by saying I never thought I would be in a situation like this. I met my boyfriend around 8 months
Long history, I don't know what to do
We started dating in high school, he cheated on me on and off with a woman (let's call her A) I wouldn't sleep with him or take things seriously
Boyfriend Caught on AFF for third time; and I don't know what to think
I am in desperate need of advice for my current situation: Me and my recent ex boyfriend had dated for three years. We first started dating
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •