Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39

Thread: Cheating during a long-term relationship isn't as bad as doing it within a marriage.....

  1. #1
    yeawutever
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,307
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5

    Cheating during a long-term relationship isn't as bad as doing it within a marriage.....

    Apart from the STD or pregnancy spreadings (let's take away that for a moment), why do some people get so emotionally to the point of not eating, depressed for days, or develop trusting issues if they weren't even engaged to that person.

    I can understand if it's a fiance(e) you're planning on living with, sharing income taxes and even forming a family after getting married but a boyfriend/girlfriend??

    First, if it's only a relationship there was nothing other than feelings bonding you to that person. What I meant by nothing is financial cost, a house, payments, children, etc.

    Second, you can break up at anytime if you're only dating but it'll be very difficult once married or if you had the marriage date, already bought the house, ring, etc.... only to have this happening to you.

    Third, I know cheating is still wrong either way but it isn't as devastating as betrayal after a marriage. If they cheat while on your relationship, so what? You might take your anger and energy yelling at them or sending them to hell, telling them it's over but once it's over with, it's done... easily (unlike in marriages, you would need to file for divorce, get a lawyer, etc.).

  2. #2
    arcadefire
    Platinum Member arcadefire's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    2,382
    Gender
    Female
    I think cheating in any relationship (legally married or not) is just as bad. It doesn't matter what title you put on your relationship - you two are committed to each other and a part of that is being faithful. There may not be as much financial or legal or whatever complications for a break up, but a break up is a break up. There is still a lot of emotional attachment, history, time spent, etc. that cannot be repaired. And the hurt is still the same. For some, it's not so easy to walk away from a person you've invested so much time and emotions in. You can't measure "which is worse" based solely on money alone.

  3. #3
    yeawutever
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,307
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by arcadefire [Register to see the link]
    I think cheating in any relationship (legally married or not) is just as bad. It doesn't matter what title you put on your relationship - you two are committed to each other and a part of that is being faithful. There may not be as much financial or legal or whatever complications for a break up, but a break up is a break up. There is still a lot of emotional attachment, history, time spent, etc. that cannot be repaired. And the hurt is still the same. For some, it's not so easy to walk away from a person you've invested so much time and emotions in. You can't measure "which is worse" based solely on money alone.
    I guess I'm only stating this from my point of view. Though I have never been cheated on (not that I know of), I'm not the type of woman that would go cry for months over a loser. I was always taught that if you fall down, you stand up again, wipe the dirt off yourself and go on as if nothing happen.

    When I broke up with my boyfriend (it wasn't cheating but something else I didn't tolerate either) it was easy and a relieve for me. Perhaps the following day I felt a bit weird but afterwards it was nothing.

  4. #4
    Cognitive_Canine
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    17,569
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    I take long term relationships very seriously, ring or not. It may be harder to break up because of things like finances and legal issues. But, the pain of a broken heart doesn't care about those things.

  5. #5
    miie
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    chicago
    Age
    34
    Posts
    165
    I think cheating is bad whether you are just bf/gf or actually married or engaged. Its still cheating. I agree that if you were married cheating was involved, it would be harder to recover as you could have a house, money and children all invovled. It would be harder to walk away quicker..

    That said tho, i dont think it hurts any less just because you are not married. You have still made a commitment to that person and they broke it. I think its just as easy to cry if you or if you arn't married. The trust was broken. A relationship has been broken. Either Way it hurts.

  6. #6
    Cognitive_Canine
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    17,569
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    which is worse?

    Being with someone for 8 years, never married, and finding out they cheated?

    Or being with someone for 1 year, married, and finding out they cheated?

  7. #7
    Sparkly Eyes

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    4,935
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Yeah, come back and tell us that when you were in love and were cheated on.

  8. #8
    dancingcolors
    Platinum Member dancingcolors's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Kauai, Hawaii
    Posts
    1,200
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1
    Amen to the last post.

  9. #9
    yeawutever
    Platinum Member yeawutever's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    30
    Posts
    6,307
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by Cognitive_Canine [Register to see the link]
    which is worse?

    Being with someone for 8 years, never married, and finding out they cheated?

    Or being with someone for 1 year, married, and finding out they cheated?
    I can't really answer that because I wouldn't stay with a man that long without any engagement date. My time limit would have long expired by the 2nd year and he would be my ex already but if I were to choose which one is worst, I'll still go for the second time. Though it was only 1 year of marriage, there will be more complications within that short time.
    On the first example, yes you'll never get back those years and your youth got wasted on a loser but sometimes it's the person's fault for staying too long on a dead-end relationship and ignoring the signs. There are always hints when someone is cheating or has become bored in the relationship.

  10. #10
    Cognitive_Canine
    Platinum Member Cognitive_Canine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    17,569
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    23
    A lot of people do not wish to get married. That does not mean it's a 'dead end relationship'.

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Is he being a hypocrite?
My husband and I had a 3some with my best friend for 9yrs over 30 times. I had a sexual relationship with my best friend before I met my husband
Should I forgive my cheating boyfriend
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now, and I thought everything was good and we were both happy but the entire time we've been
found out boyfriend of 3 years pays a prostitute visit
I just found out my bf of 3 years recently had a visit to prostitute. I had his phone password, I was looking into his text messages and I found his
Boyfriend of two months texted Ex about Sex Videos of her he still watches...
I have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half months. I have been so happy! We have so much in common and have a great sex life. Recently though
Can cheaters change?
Hi there. I feel pretty foolish for staying with a cheater, but i honestly believe he has changed. (please dont judge me) Long story short, I caught
Questions for anyone who had an emotional affair
Anyone here ever had an emotional affair. If so, did it change your perception of your spouse or your relationship? If it did, how quickly did
Could use some Advice
Hello everyone, so I'm new to this forum and this is going to be a very long thread but I'm looking for some advice on how to proceed with this
Featured Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
Boyfriend told me he couldn't afford holiday, next day books one to Thailand
Basically my boyfriend of 6 months is $40k in debt (I'm debt-free). We had talked about going to Vietnam and he said he needed 6 months to save up
Not a regular here, I have a few questions...
I'll try to make this brief. Been in a relationship (23F) with a man (35) for 5 years. Typical in the beginning, though I always wondered how he
Weed or Me
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months - he is 31 and I am 24. He has recently started smoking weed every night and I don't really
Is He Hiding from Me?
Hi All, Need some advice from those that are familiar with social media apps such as Instagram.. I'v been friends with this guy for about a
Red flag in friendship
I've been through a terrible first break up and was in a lot of pain. I was physically and mentally sick due to the stress of the break up but I'm
I broke hard NC after 7 months (B I G M I S T A K E)
No surprise, I'm absolutely devastated. She pretty much blew me off like I was a piece of trash. At first I was happy because she actually responded
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •