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Thread: Cheating during a long-term relationship isn't as bad as doing it within a marriage.....

  1. #1
    yeawutever
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    Cheating during a long-term relationship isn't as bad as doing it within a marriage.....

    Apart from the STD or pregnancy spreadings (let's take away that for a moment), why do some people get so emotionally to the point of not eating, depressed for days, or develop trusting issues if they weren't even engaged to that person.

    I can understand if it's a fiance(e) you're planning on living with, sharing income taxes and even forming a family after getting married but a boyfriend/girlfriend??

    First, if it's only a relationship there was nothing other than feelings bonding you to that person. What I meant by nothing is financial cost, a house, payments, children, etc.

    Second, you can break up at anytime if you're only dating but it'll be very difficult once married or if you had the marriage date, already bought the house, ring, etc.... only to have this happening to you.

    Third, I know cheating is still wrong either way but it isn't as devastating as betrayal after a marriage. If they cheat while on your relationship, so what? You might take your anger and energy yelling at them or sending them to hell, telling them it's over but once it's over with, it's done... easily (unlike in marriages, you would need to file for divorce, get a lawyer, etc.).

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    arcadefire
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    I think cheating in any relationship (legally married or not) is just as bad. It doesn't matter what title you put on your relationship - you two are committed to each other and a part of that is being faithful. There may not be as much financial or legal or whatever complications for a break up, but a break up is a break up. There is still a lot of emotional attachment, history, time spent, etc. that cannot be repaired. And the hurt is still the same. For some, it's not so easy to walk away from a person you've invested so much time and emotions in. You can't measure "which is worse" based solely on money alone.

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    yeawutever
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    Quote Originally Posted by arcadefire [Register to see the link]
    I think cheating in any relationship (legally married or not) is just as bad. It doesn't matter what title you put on your relationship - you two are committed to each other and a part of that is being faithful. There may not be as much financial or legal or whatever complications for a break up, but a break up is a break up. There is still a lot of emotional attachment, history, time spent, etc. that cannot be repaired. And the hurt is still the same. For some, it's not so easy to walk away from a person you've invested so much time and emotions in. You can't measure "which is worse" based solely on money alone.
    I guess I'm only stating this from my point of view. Though I have never been cheated on (not that I know of), I'm not the type of woman that would go cry for months over a loser. I was always taught that if you fall down, you stand up again, wipe the dirt off yourself and go on as if nothing happen.

    When I broke up with my boyfriend (it wasn't cheating but something else I didn't tolerate either) it was easy and a relieve for me. Perhaps the following day I felt a bit weird but afterwards it was nothing.

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    Cognitive_Canine
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    I take long term relationships very seriously, ring or not. It may be harder to break up because of things like finances and legal issues. But, the pain of a broken heart doesn't care about those things.

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    miie
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    I think cheating is bad whether you are just bf/gf or actually married or engaged. Its still cheating. I agree that if you were married cheating was involved, it would be harder to recover as you could have a house, money and children all invovled. It would be harder to walk away quicker..

    That said tho, i dont think it hurts any less just because you are not married. You have still made a commitment to that person and they broke it. I think its just as easy to cry if you or if you arn't married. The trust was broken. A relationship has been broken. Either Way it hurts.

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    Cognitive_Canine
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    which is worse?

    Being with someone for 8 years, never married, and finding out they cheated?

    Or being with someone for 1 year, married, and finding out they cheated?

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    Sparkly Eyes

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    Yeah, come back and tell us that when you were in love and were cheated on.

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    dancingcolors
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    Amen to the last post.

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    yeawutever
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cognitive_Canine [Register to see the link]
    which is worse?

    Being with someone for 8 years, never married, and finding out they cheated?

    Or being with someone for 1 year, married, and finding out they cheated?
    I can't really answer that because I wouldn't stay with a man that long without any engagement date. My time limit would have long expired by the 2nd year and he would be my ex already but if I were to choose which one is worst, I'll still go for the second time. Though it was only 1 year of marriage, there will be more complications within that short time.
    On the first example, yes you'll never get back those years and your youth got wasted on a loser but sometimes it's the person's fault for staying too long on a dead-end relationship and ignoring the signs. There are always hints when someone is cheating or has become bored in the relationship.

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    Cognitive_Canine
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    A lot of people do not wish to get married. That does not mean it's a 'dead end relationship'.

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