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i want to lay down and die...


LOLA MD

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im in so much pain. i cant even being to explain it. after putting my walls down after so long... after finally believing in true love again... he just throws it away like it was nothing and i am no one. how do u go from being in love and talking marriage to nothing...we were going to get married... and i cant stop crying. i want to cut my wrists or something.. i cant do anything i just want to believe this is a lie or a nightmare im gonna wake up from... what do i do ...i wanna rip out my heart so i cant feel it anymore...

i cant move on i cant think of him with someone else

i dont want someone else.

 

see my last form..

 

he said he didnt lie and it was true. he wont believe me.

he said when i hurt him he just considered me gone.

he wont meet with my unlce i knew he wouldnt

we all think he is scared of him.. .

 

he didnt have a reason to be they were just going to talk

 

 

i want to die....

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Im so sorry. None of this is your fault. He knows damn well you did nothing wrong. Sounds like he was ready to check out of the relationship and this was an excuse. HE has split up with you over NOTHING at all.

 

Would you really want to be with him after all this? Learning how easily he can switch from love to nothing?

 

Please dont do anything like 'cut your wrists' Hes not worth that. Can you ring up friends/family? Spend some time with them? YOu shouldnt be alone right now if your feeling that bad. Im so sorry for you. But each day will get easier.

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i do too...

 

thank you for the response... i dont feel so alone anymore. im talking to my aunt and uncle and my uncle is furious...

 

he sent me a couple of angry texts

 

saying i hurt him.. i keep trying to get him to tell me how what i did..

 

he is treating me like a im this lying cheating...person

 

i told him one day he will he was wrong and then it will be too late

 

its too late now i wouldnt want him anyway after what he put me thru

 

the only thing hurts is that i love him so much and i know he loved me too

and its gone and ill never find that again

nobody could make me feel the way he does...

 

i cant breathe from crying so much and my face is really red... my head is starting to hurt.. i just want to go back in time and never gone to that damn wedding... i hate ben now i hate everyone and everything im so mad

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Im not suprised your hurting. It must have been such a surprise. Its either he wanted out, and this is an excuse, or hes too angry to think straight and is trusting someone over you. which is NOT ok.

 

Its ok to cry, and grieve, its all fresh and new and the pain is very raw. You loved him, and hes shown himself to be someone you didnt realise he could be.

 

I think when he calms down, he might speak to you. DN's right, you deserve to know what you supposedly did and who told him.

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I would text him and say this: "unless you tell me what it is that I am supposed to have done, I will not be contacting you again nor will I respond to anything else from you. I accept your decision to break up even though I have no clue what you are alleging."

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it was such a surprise.. out of no where... im so sad. i would like to believe that he is believes someones else lies rather to think he did something and turned it around on me...all this pain for his mistakes.... im so lost i dont know what to do ... we were so happy... and ...

 

out of anger i texted him things like

 

i loved u so much and we were so happy and u threw it all away for someones lies

and then later

 

i said things like

 

that person who lied to is laughing at you right now etc and go and be with them if u believe them over me go them and i wish u the best

 

even tho its likely it was one of his guys who lied..... he said i made a fool out of him.. and he will just not listen to reason

 

does my word mean nothing

 

i have NEVER felt so helpless in my life before... i would NEVER cheat i NEVER cheated i know how much it hurts... how can he just..

 

god...

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He is being unreasonable right now. If he had any compassion at all he would at least tell you what he'd hurt and from who. Even if he wanted to break up, if he loved you, he'd give you the REAL reason, he hasnt even given you the chance to meet him face to face and defend yourself, you've been found guilty without a trial, on the basis of a rumour. Im not suprised your upset.

 

The best thing you can do now is literally ignore him. I like DN's idea.

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SapphireNoir10,

 

you're right. he wrote me off. no compassion at all.. like im this liar and cheater who hurt him... i could never do that to him. i dont know where this is coming from

i wish i could find out who told him this (if this someone exists) because i would love to take my anger out on them.

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saphhirenio10,

 

thank you for your response and taking the time to talk to me.

it's beyond me too how he can do this to me.

i dont think i have a chance to take the higher ground after all the crying and begging...

i just want to find out who did this i want to look for ways to fix it even tho i know nothing i do or say or find out can make me forget what he did to me.....

 

i just love him so much. once a i had the worst day at work and with everything and i didnt even tell him its like he knew and he sent me a text like "hey i just want to tell u i love you" and it would make everything better

 

i wont find that again

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DN,

 

I was upset and I believed my best friend.. she was my best friend and but I confronted him about and he had a chance to defend himself... it was he said she said and in the end I believed her. I was WRONG.

 

.... thank you DN for also taking the time to respond to me.

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Everyone who is broken up with does the panicked reaction of texting, begging, calling. I've been there! YOu can regain your dignity and respect though, a quick text to say 'I would like to know what the rumour is, but if you don't have the respect for me to hear my side, then this is the right choice, goodbye, dont contact me again' and then DONT contact him again. It'll be a shock to him.

 

and you will find love again, real, true love. What he is showing now is not love.

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SapphireNoir10,

 

I don't want to break contact with him I want to keep the lines of communication open, if this is a just a fit he is throwing because he has trust issues that I was unaware of.

Im scared if I do this it would be in a way admitting I am guilty of something and just want to find out who told on me?

What if he is ok with it and nevers texts me again or calls... we were suppose to go on vacation in December.. apt's// i mean...

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He might in fact be a very jealous type of guy. He found out you went to this wedding, and his mind just went crazy. Probably for the time you were at the wedding he was just raging. I know of people like this...with the most extreme trust issues and this wedding blew him over the edge. He might be bi polar and coming down from his rage, is now embarrassed, so he is fabricating a break up. Believe it or not, I do know a lot of people who can hide trust issues. As long as there are home every night everthing is fine...

 

There is definetely something up...there is something going on behind the scenes here. Lola, just lay low for a few days. Do something to calm yourself. This is extreme to go from engagement to this. If he texts you, I would text back that you must see him in person to discuss what happened....just keep posting on this site. You will find out the answer eventually.

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sadchick83,

 

Thank you for responding. I was thinking that too... that now he is just embarrassed for his over reacting and thats why he wont give names. I can't believe this is happening. The wedding was in July... it's September now.. why now... at the wedding he was texting me a lot and acting kind of annoying even tho i love him he was starting to bother me with all the questions and constant check ins... I cant put anything together I just keep crying.

 

I woke up and read the messages from my uncle and I have been crying since. Now when I go back there in a COUPLE of months.. December I won't know who to trust and Im going to go crazy because everyone I know was at this wedding and even if they werent there they could have lied about it ...i just ugh... god... I used to cut my writs years ago and now it sounds like a good idea... i came so far from my depression, trust issues, and insecurities and i feel like now when i have finally reached the light at the end of the tunnel i was shown everything beautiful everything i could have and then in an instant was pushed back into my dark cold lonely depressing hole.

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at the wedding he was texting me a lot and acting kind of annoying even tho i love him he was starting to bother me with all the questions and constant check ins...

Sounds like he may have trust issues. Did you let him know he was starting to bother you with all the questions?
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