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sherryberrypie

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Sept 12, 2010

 

level 1- 30 day shred

30 mins yoga (abs/flexibility)

 

 

Because sweat pants aren't always appropriate, I have to re-shrink my tummy (especially the lower tummy) and fit back into those smaller jeans I was so proud to wear earlier this summer.

 

I lapsed back into depression, which certainly didn't help. I'm doing better now, and am focusing on giving myself a really good quality of life, surrounding myself with friends, and counting my blessings (I have many). I have nothing to be depressed about at all, which is the hardest part. It's just darn ol' genetics.

 

My goals:

 

No alcohol.

Exercise daily.

Keep to a schedule, plan out my days.

Eat responsibly.

Cook with Alex-- it's great "together-time".

Save $$, build a nice nest egg.

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Thank you for the good wishes!

 

Bad news first:

 

BF's car got a flat last night. He took my car to work and I took his in for repairs. They patched the tire for free, but said that he really needs new tires, ASAP. At minimum, that's $400. So between my tuition, his new computer that we're saving up for, and buying my sister's car, that's around $4,000. Yech.

 

For the good news:

 

Breakfast today was a fruit salad and a glass of 1% milk (lactose free milk, I love thee!). I chopped up a pear, a peach, and a banana.

Lunch was half of one of those salad kits. This one was asian. It had crunchy noodles, almonds, and candied pineapple. Not the healthiest salad in the world, but I didn't add anything else to it.

 

Yesterday I found a weight watchers cookbook, and the recipes look so good. I don't follow weight watchers, but at least I know they're healthier options. Alex has put in a request for the shepherd's pie, so I'm going to cook it up before class this evening and have an early dinner.

 

I did level 1 (day 2) and yoga basics, as well as yoga for flexibility and relaxation. It feels like a treat at the end of the shred session.

 

I can feel my body saying "thank you."

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Didn't have time to cook before leaving for class. Had cereal and a banana for dinner instead.

 

Tonight I was hungry. Very, very hungry. Before my hour long drive home I ate a tuna snack (160 cals). When I got home, I made a shepherd's pie for tomorrow and I sampled too much of the meat. I finally gave in and ate the rest of the salad from lunch. Clearly my metabolism has kicked into high gear!

 

Alex and I are going out for dinner to a new restaurant on Thursday!

 

I'm officially exhausted. Need to sleep so I'm ready for another busy day tomorrow!

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I hate hitting a snag when I'm just getting started. Wednesday was nuts. Just nuts. I was gone from 8 am to 8 pm and by the time I had dinner, there was just no time. I hate that excuse.

 

Last night I was up sick all night, so today there was definitely no workout. Feeling hungry now and I know I'll be able to do it tomorrow.

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I missed three days! Darn sickness. Yesterday was really rough, emotionally.

I feel so dumb. I made a huge mistake and I really just feel like a fool. Turns out, I was in no position to leave my old job, but there's no way I'm going back. I dropped some courses instead. Two courses and a full time job is still plenty. I know this is going to impede my ability to graduate, but I have other responsibilities. Part of me wishes that I had just settled for a desk job like everyone else. Thank goodness Alex is so understanding and willing to support the both of us. On the positive side, our savings are growing again.

 

Time for day 4 of level 1.

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I missed three days! Darn sickness. Yesterday was really rough, emotionally.

I feel so dumb. I made a huge mistake and I really just feel like a fool. Turns out, I was in no position to leave my old job, but there's no way I'm going back. I dropped some courses instead. Two courses and a full time job is still plenty. I know this is going to impede my ability to graduate, but I have other responsibilities. Part of me wishes that I had just settled for a desk job like everyone else. Thank goodness Alex is so understanding and willing to support the both of us. On the positive side, our savings are growing again.

 

Time for day 4 of level 1!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Applied for some jobs, seems promising. At my favourite clothing store, the clerk said she'd make sure that I got into interviews because she thought I'd be a great fit. It would be nice to work there

 

No matter what I do, I'm feeling depressed. This sucks. Alex and I had the most retarded fight last night, and because I'm PMS'y and getting off of these stupid pills, I wound up feeling so upset. It's just getting really really hard knowing that everyone I grew up with (except for one) and everyone I was ever close to is married or has children, or both. Alex and I have been openly talking about my desire for children, and he says he really wants them too, but now isn't the right time. Of course it isn't! I know that, but tell it to my heart. That sounds so cheesy, but it's true. There's so much pressure on me to finish school, get my career... but all I really want is to raise a couple of children, and freelance or something. I'm to the point where I just want to log off facebook permanently, because it's getting way too hard and hurtful to see engagement announcements, pregnancy announcements, etc... I'm happy for them, but it does hurt.

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I understand completely. It sucks when you have that "urge" but know deep down things are not quite there yet. I'm going to school next year, and thankfully I should be done within 1-2 years. After that and marriage, then comes the baby. Just be patient. It gets hard but when you have your career and you have the finances to afford a child, you'll be thankful you waited.

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Since Friday I've been in pain. I have an infected tooth or something, and keep waking up in the middle of the night desperate for relief. I think the whole issue stems from an uneven jaw, leading to clenching and grinding, leading to weakened teeth. Because I do brush and floss regularly. The sore tooth is my back left molar, and last night I woke up at 4 am and even my ear hurt, so I decided that I need to try my best to have it extracted. What's the point of having a root canal done if my clenching is just going to destroy it? I'm going to try to create a mouthguard out of a whitening tray, and if that doesn't work, I'll save up for a proper one.

 

Thanksgiving dinner at our place was great. My Mom didn't want to come, but I had my two brothers, my niece, my friend and her two kids over. The food was really good! I was pretty proud of myself My older brother snarfed the stuffing pretty quickly. The only problem was that I misread the roasting directions for the bird and thought it was in kg instead of lbs...so I put the bird in at 3:30 and dinner wasn't until 8, by the time the gravy was made. Other than slightly cranky/sleepy kids, it was nice.

 

Went to my Mom's last night for dinner. It was okay. I'm not really sure why I went, other than not wanting to be the only offspring that wasn't invited. I'm still hurt by that. Alex thinks that maybe he's the problem, and after last night, I'm thinking that could be the case. She didn't talk to him at all, and when he was making jokes and making everyone else laugh, I could swear I saw her and her husband exchange looks. My sister brought her (newish) boyfriend over for the first time, and I wasn't sure what to say to the guy! It was so weird seeing her with a guy, but she looks happy. He's a bit quiet, but that's okay. My sister was really quiet though. She hardly talked to me at all. She doesn't call me anymore, either. I just don't know what's going on with the women in my family. My Mom has no interest in hearing about what I'm working on, or what's new. Maybe she just can't relate, but she's never read any articles of mine, or asked questions. Well, no one in my family has, actually, except for my step-mom.

I wish I had a close family. I wish that Alex's family and my family knew each other. Only my older brother has met Alex's Dad, and it just seems wrong. We've been together for 4 years, and there have been plenty of opportunities. I'm so envious of people who have big happy families, in-laws and all.

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Right there with you sister. I know I'm engaged and getting married but seriously, put me around a kid or anything baby and you can hear my biological start ticking. I think it's cute CS has his own biological clock when it comes to being a dad but believe me, it's no where near as loud as my mummy one. I think out of 85 in my class, 5 of us aren't married or with children. :s And some of us have two or three year olds!!! CS and I want to start trying ASAP when I move over but still, it's one of those things you know you were born to do. Hang in there, the time will come!

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Honestly, we both can admit if we were in a 'normal' relationship we wouildn't be getting married this soon. Engaged? Sure. Actually getting married? no. The distance does have some to play in it but the main reason is we do want to get married. Yours will come soon. When I was with my ex and I would dream about weddings everything always had to be perfect. I refused to settle for less in my dream land. But now that I'm with CS, I don't care if we were to get married on the back of a donkey, I just want to be his wife.

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I was mean to him last night and I doubt today he's at work thinking "man I can't wait to marry that sweet, sweet girl." I just got so fed up. I've had a toothache coupled with headaches all week and am trying yet again to get off antidepressants. In short, I'm a big emotional mess and I didn't want him to have to deal with it. So I hid away in our bedroom while he was upstairs for most of the evening on his computer. When he came down, he was bored and in "harass Sherry mode". In 30 mins, he busted into the room 3 times, and the last time I yelled "what do you want?!" He said, "you really should be nicer to me." and left. I tried to apologize, but he wouldn't have it. We cuddled a bit last night when we went to bed, but this morning he didn't say goodbye before he left for work. He always, always, says "I love you, honey" before he goes to work in the morning Before we went to sleep, I asked him if he wanted to do something tomorrow, and he said "what is there to do?" Not like him at all. He was sniffling and carrying on, so I know I hurt him badly.

 

I tried to point out to him that when he feels like hanging out with me, he can't just decide, okay I want to hang out now, I have time for you now... even if you're doing something or want to be by yourself. But he doesn't listen. It's not fair for him to hole himself up for 4+ hours and just when I'm getting settled into doing my thing, decide that he needs attention. It goes both ways. I guess neither of us are putting very much effort into this relationship lately. I've just been wrapped up in myself, and he is so damn stubborn. He refuses to do anything he doesn't want to do, even if it means a lot to me-- even just going for a walk around the neighbourhood. I just don't understand how he is so angry when he himself has become so complacent. He's become that stereotypical slob of a boyfriend/husband, and I hate it.

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I went to bed debating... I don't have a job right now. Well, I have one, but it brings in maybe $200 every two weeks. Everything else is Alex. I have car insurance due at the end of the month and we're not sure how exactly we're going to pay for 5 classes for me next semester. That's a boatload of money right there. That $11 seems like $100 right now, so I think I'll just wait. I love Amazon. I've pretty much boycotted the campus bookstore because why spend $60 on a used text there, when I can get it for $10 on Amazon, and it's usually within 3 days too. Plus, I love getting parcels

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Woohoo! So I had a great day. Slept in, went to the gym for some cardio/tv time (hehehe) came home and checked the phone. AND, the job I had been hoping for called me two days earlier! In our new place we can't really keep the answering machine plugged in. The big plugs don't both fit in the two sockets and a wooden ledge means that the extra plug things don't work. Truthfully, I only use the phone 1. when calling or being called by relatives, 2. calling to make appointments, or 3. doing interviews for class/the paper. Long story short, we don't have an answering machine and I forget to check the phone all the time. Something made me want to check the phone, and I scrolled back a bunch and saw that they had called!

 

I called right that minute and she wanted me to come for an interview in an hour. I powered through my shower and beautified myself in record time! Got there 15 minutes early, in fact. The interview went swimmingly, and for the second part, she had me create an outfit based on a specific situation. It was harder than I thought it would be, but fun! She said I did great. When she told me that the discount is 50% the little voice in my head was like yaaaaaaaaay! The discount is 25% at like 8 other stores too, which is sweet!

 

Alex came home from work all exhausted and sore. I had bought a massage bar at Lush after the interview for just that purpose (my intuition has been bang-on today!), and tried it out on him. Then we went and saw The Social Network and afterwards, he asked if I'd like to get some dinner. We went to Montana's and had an appie platter/ yummy pulled beef sliders. I stopped before the plates were empty. I've been working really hard on eating better and eating way less meat, so since it was so greasy and junky, I decided to just stop when I'd tasted a little bit of everything. It was a really nice night I got my turn with the masssage bar (so yummy) tonight. He's gone to bed now, but I'm still feeling pretty lively. I just checked the phone on a whim again and saw that the job called! She had told me she wouldn't make any decisions until next week, so it looks good for me! Oh it would be so nice to have a job again! Be around people more than 2-3 days a week... have a huge discount on clothes at my favourite store. Mmmm new outfits!

 

It's especially important that I have a job, because Alex's work is shutting down from Dec 19-Jan 1st-- so no pay except for stats. Kind of scary, but we're making sure to save up for that time. His family is all making plans for Christmas and asking where we're going to be, but I keep having to tell them that my priority right now is earning enough to pay for my car and to make sure that I can pay tuition for 4-5 classes next semester. I'm glad I'm not on student loans anymore, just because there's no new debt, but you really feel how expensive tuition is when it's coming straight out of your pocket!

 

I'm completely not tired. I need to get tired though, because the house is a mess and father in law is coming tomorrow afternoon. I need to squeeze in a workout and get things tidied before noon. Finally we get kitty #2! I'm excited. He's so man-pretty

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