Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: I told him to leave me alone

  1. #1
    PaleSeptember
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    264

    I told him to leave me alone

    Well, I did it. I told my ex of two weeks that I need space to get over him, and that I don't want to see him anytime soon. He said he was sorry. I told him if he wants to work things out between us then call me (and said that's if I even want to, that is, by then), but otherwise I need space and I'll call him if and when I can be just a friend to him. He said ok, and that he understands.

    I told him this after he started discussing that he's getting me a birthday present soon. His response to why, was that he still considers me a "good friend" and so he wants to get me a gift. It's so hard telling him those things, because I want us to be together, and he knows it.

    Last edited by PaleSeptember; 09-03-2010 at 07:33 PM. Reason: edited sentences

  2. #2
    PaleSeptember
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    264
    ugggggh this really bites, I want him to come back to me. I'm about to start crying.

  3. #3
    SA2000
    Gold Member SA2000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Montana
    Age
    65
    Posts
    1,131
    Thanked
    1
    I did the same a week ago. It really sucks but if you think about it atleast you don't have to worry about being strung along and feeling terrible later for a longer period of time. I told my ex that we should not talk anymore which she agreed to. We have not spoken since. If she calls I will know why. If she doesnt call I can heal. Either way I am in a better position for the future.

  4. #4
    PaleSeptember
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    264
    Last thing I just told him was that I could have kept some contact with him but he isn't making it easy, and that maybe it's easy for him to be just a friend but I'm coming from a different place than him. He said "I know" and suddenly went offline. Good thing, though, because I was starting to get emotional and angry.

  5. #5
    PaleSeptember
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    264
    Quote Originally Posted by SA2000 [Register to see the link]
    I did the same a week ago. It really sucks but if you think about it atleast you don't have to worry about being strung along and feeling terrible later for a longer period of time. I told my ex that we should not talk anymore which she agreed to. We have not spoken since. If she calls I will know why. If she doesnt call I can heal. Either way I am in a better position for the future.
    I thought I could do limited contact, but I have to do this for myself now. Every time I talk to him, it feels like underneath it all I'm waiting for him to change his mind.

  6. #6
    PaleSeptember
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    264
    I know you shouldn't do NC to try getting an ex back, but it's better this way and wouldn't hurt any chances, right? It's better this way than to keep in little contact, chatting about random pointless things, so soon after a break up? Plus, and most importantly, I can move on and not keep reopening wounded feelings.

  7. #7
    bwhite00
    Gold Member bwhite00's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    743
    Thanked
    2
    When my ex gf told me to 'leave her alone' it compelled me to contact her even more!

    Now if you want a better word track, try this 'We both need space, Im sorry but I cannot be friends right now. I wanted you as a boyfriend (or girlfriend) so being friends is not fair to either of us. Please do not contact me unless it is to talk about how we can resolve things'.

    Then go nc until he comes back to you. Depending on how close you were and for how long, he will come back.

    Trust me, my ex pulled the 'leave me alone' line on me MANY times and all it did was OUTRAGE me - so don't overdo it.

    It was her panacea to change the subject when I got a little too close to her heart.

    Just tell him you both need to not contact each other for an indeterminate amount of time.

    The kicker is: do you want him back?

    He knows not to contact you unless he's willing to man up about your relationship. So after making that clear to him, make no mistake, if he contacts you... It's more than friendly.

    And if he doesn't contact you?

    Well then let the healing process of NC & EnA work it's magic.

    Either way, you'll be fine but please...

    Take it easy on the 'leave me alone'! My ex drove me NUTS with that...

  8. #8
    Eclipse11
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    England
    Age
    44
    Posts
    837
    Gender
    Female
    Aw PaleSeptember...you will feel better soon than this and NC will work it's magic and I'm sure that if you wish it, you and him can be friends again down the line, just not now at this time...that's how I see it with my ex-boyfriend, he was sad as well, so was I...but I said, it was not like we would never see eachother again, we could be friends eventually when things had settled down and we were healed...
    You have done the right thing, don't worry about that...and he understands, he knows you were not being malicious...it's because you needed space to get over him and trust me, you will be feeling better soon - Eclipse x

  9. #9
    PaleSeptember
    Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    264
    Thanks for the support everyone.

  10. #10
    Nothisdoormat
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    In a great headspace
    Posts
    375
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by PaleSeptember [Register to see the link]
    Last thing I just told him was that I could have kept some contact with him but he isn't making it easy, and that maybe it's easy for him to be just a friend but I'm coming from a different place than him. He said "I know" and suddenly went offline. Good thing, though, because I was starting to get emotional and angry.
    PaleSeptember, I can relate to how you feel. The game of "string-along" is cruel and selfish and you had every right to get angry. I felt the same way last week when I called my ex out on his "game." As a result, I've had a peaceful, calming week without the relentless stream of phone calls, and am looking forward to it remaining this way.

    You will be sad and miss him for awhile, and slowly the pain will subside. Time to get back to you - later for the ex. If he doesn't love you, he doesn't deserve to be your friend either. Friends don't hurt their friends nor do they mislead them. Once I finally pounded that concept back into my own head, it's been easier, since I was already farther along in my healing process than I realized thanks to my journaling where I was always "real" with myself about what I was feeling/sensing (red flags) yet still was holding out for the best outcome. Actually, I got it.

    -Sole

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Ex Girlfriend is Confused about her feelings
So, I've never posted anything for relationship advice ever, but I really need some help, hopefully from someone who really does understand the
Self Healing Blog
I don't know if anyone will read this. And I apologize now because this will be long. Deep down I'm hoping my ex-boyfriend and I will be able to
is he taking advantage
Me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 9 months ago. I will admit it was my fault I was still communicating with an ex when I shouldn't have been. I
What's going on with my ex?
My ex boyfriend and I dated for three years. I broke up with him because he had lied to me about a pretty big issue. We were in love with each other
She left me for her ex and now wants me back
Hello guys, This is my first thread here and enotalone has been my emotional support for the last 2 months so I couln't have gone through this
1 year on. Should I make contact
We were together 4 years, She 27 Broke up with me (25) a year ago. We were both depressed and I was no saint and had some emotional issues. A year
Ex GF co-worker recent behaviour
To cut a long story short my ex girlfriend of 9months (until June) works with me and since June we haven't been on best terms mainly due to her

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Tired of Being His Provider??
Okay so I found this site through Google. This seems like a pretty common topic and I suppose I just need to vent. My husband has been unemployed
Beautiful women who works at lush...
So there is this a girl who works at this place. I've been in there twice now and she is a stunner. Its one of those girls who you have to look twice
Being left for another man by my ex girlfriend
My and my ex gf broke up 7 months ago back in late April. We had bad fights and she stated she was unhappy. She then proceeded to have an active
Wondering?
Ok, I posted before about my situation but I would like to further talk. This woman I became involved with 3 years ago TOLD me she had feelings for
Break up Advice Needed
Hi all, I really need some advice on my recent break up with my girlfriend of almost five years. A few months ago I started to feel unhappy and
She's getting ready for marriage. She thinks that it is what I want. My fault.
So, I am pretty much in a difficult situation. I have been with a girl for the past 4 years. In these 4 years, after a while I realized she really
Venting - Advice...?
Hello, Im a 36 year old male, married with 3 kids. My wife and I are pretty much like roommates. There is zero sex life and its from both ends
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •