I'm am not one of those people that always asks for favors. Typically I do not ask unless I am really in need.
A while back I ended a relationship with a 'friend' who basically turned our whole relationship into her asking favors from me, me always offering favors and this was basically out whole interaction. In addition to this she also stole something from me and lied about it! I am pretty generous with my friends and I don't keep tabs on everything and so this went on for a while without me realizing what was going on. The way I realized is when one day my phone rang, I saw it was her and I immediately knew (without talking to her) that she probably wanted something - and in fact she did! I also realized I don't feel comfortable enough asking her for any favors and on the one event I did (something really easy like borrowing an office key for a couple of hours) she declined! I have to mention here that I have done this person NUMEROUS favors, when she asked or even when I just suspected she needed me. I have been very generous over a long span, with my time, money, support etc. and never expecting something back other than friendship and goodwill. Anyway that relationship is now over and since then I have been very careful with this to not put myself in a similar position. [Register to see the link] is more on that situation if you want more background.
Now I want to know if I am overdoing it. I want you to tell me how you would have handled the below situation - and what you think about how I handled it.
I a friend/acquaintance. We met a year ago as she is a new grad student in my department. I had told her to call me for anything she needs or just to hang out. She never called to hangout and she once called to talk about her problems - which is fine. On one occasion I asked to hang out drive her to a beach she declined - which is fine. This was the extent of our social interaction. At one point I asked her a small favor (as small as forwarding an email - would take a couple of mins at most). She did not even respond (I wish she had at least declined and answered the request). Since then she has called me twice both to ask for favors.
The first time I never saw her calls/texts but she sent a few text and there was a few missed calls, voicemails etc. Her car broke down and she needed my help. It turned out I saw this too late so I couldn't help anyway.
The second time I also didn't see the call but I heard the voicemail that said she needed something (didn't say what). I didn't call back immediately. I got texts later saying she needed to be taken to a driving test and would I take her. Now this annoyed me. It is ok if you don't want to do favors for me, although not even responding was rude I think. But now every time you call me you are asking me for big favors? I declined saying I am not available to help even though I could probably have made time for it that day. (And she was calling me the day before she needed me?!) I don't feel like doing favors for someone who calls me just for favors. Especially if I cannot feel comfortable enough to ask this person for favors for whatever reason. What do you think about this? Is this the same as me not wanting to do favors unless I get something back? Because that is really not the way I mean it. Am I being too strict because of the bad experience I had with the other friend?