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Thread: Why did he choose her over me?

  1. #1
    Shmiley_Phace
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    Unhappy Why did he choose her over me?

    in short, my ex got with someone the same week we broke up. he used to tell me how she was better in such n such ways n told his friends about how she is in bed, how shes better than me etc, and acted like he was proud to have her. a couple months later he tries to get me back saying hes done with her. we're long distance so i said no, because he hurt me a lot..we've been together for 3/4 years. 6 months after he got with her, he came over to see me. but as soon as he came over, said he only wanted to be friends..it really really hurt...he gave me so many mixed signals. stuff like saying im his dream girl, but also saying if i moved on he'd be happy for me...more like that.

    after he left, i told him not to talk to me. 3 weeks after, i got weak and tried calling and emailed 2x. his phone is changed and he wont answer emails. i just asked how he was doing...and just some facts that i am 100% sure of:

    i am: curvy in the right way, tall, very good morals, very moody, in college and working, with him 3/4 yrs, very committed, never cheated, can be insecure, lives far away, no smoking/drinking of any kind.

    she is: shorter, NO feminine assets whatsoever, looks very skinny, has a child, very insecure (i am too but not as much), but acts like she doesnt need anyone (even tho she lives with parents), smokes, drinks, very non adventurous, hates girly things/acts tomboyish, and wears funny clothes (like 3 layers of pants..), no job, no car. but she lives in his city.


    all i wanna know is...why?! why am i being ignored and she is preferred?? and he lied to me about breaking up with her, so hes been with her 7 months..why didnt he just call me n say we're friends instead of all that effort n tears...?

    whats so special about her that i dont have...?

  2. #2
    woodc5
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    Only he knows the answer to the question you're asking. Maybe the distance got to him and she made herself available to him. Who knows, who cares. With what he put you through, it sounds like you're better off. If your description of yourself is accurate, you should have little trouble finding someone to treat you as you deserve.

  3. #3
    eikal
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    Nothing is, people just prefer other people its just how it is unfortunately. My ex left me for some guy that was going into the military. I wondered why she would want to be with someone who is going to leave her. It doesn't make sense and we can spend the rest of our lives wondering why. It's just best to try to accept the fact that he has a new girl and move on. If he tries to talk to you ignore it. You'll find someone new i promise.

  4. #4
    Shmiley_Phace
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    Quote Originally Posted by woodc5 [Register to see the link]
    Only he knows the answer to the question you're asking. Maybe the distance got to him and she made herself available to him. Who knows, who cares. With what he put you through, it sounds like you're better off. If your description of yourself is accurate, you should have little trouble finding someone to treat you as you deserve.
    thanks maybe im just too emotional right now to see the big picture..
    Quote Originally Posted by eikal [Register to see the link]
    Nothing is, people just prefer other people its just how it is unfortunately. My ex left me for some guy that was going into the military. I wondered why she would want to be with someone who is going to leave her. It doesn't make sense and we can spend the rest of our lives wondering why. It's just best to try to accept the fact that he has a new girl and move on. If he tries to talk to you ignore it. You'll find someone new i promise.
    im sure theres a logic to it thats eluding me...i hope he ends up missing me for the sake of my ego, but perhaps i wont care later on..thx

  5. #5
    mateus
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    It sounds to me like he's playing with you, he wants to know if your still there if need be and he suddenly finds himself on his own which he will be eventually. This new girl is obviously stupid enough to hang out with him and your not....so don't beat yourself up and leave them to play their games out on each other.
    I really don't think this guy is worth the effort so don't let him have his cake and eat it. Move on with your life and enjoy better things.

  6. #6
    Shmiley_Phace
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    Quote Originally Posted by mateus [Register to see the link]
    It sounds to me like he's playing with you, he wants to know if your still there if need be and he suddenly finds himself on his own which he will be eventually. This new girl is obviously stupid enough to hang out with him and your not....so don't beat yourself up and leave them to play their games out on each other.
    I really don't think this guy is worth the effort so don't let him have his cake and eat it. Move on with your life and enjoy better things.
    its less about him and more about my ego...all the good things i did for him, what i had to overcome to be with him (cultural issues especially) so i dont wanna be the only one suffering this...and the fact that he wont answer my emails and changed his number - god damn it hurts. i dont understand any of it. i WANT to be wanted!

  7. #7
    eikal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shmiley_Phace [Register to see the link]
    its less about him and more about my ego...all the good things i did for him, what i had to overcome to be with him (cultural issues especially) so i dont wanna be the only one suffering this...and the fact that he wont answer my emails and changed his number - god damn it hurts. i dont understand any of it. i WANT to be wanted!
    To be wanted all you have to do is go out and live life and there will be numerous guys that will want you. Exercise your self-confidence and you will go far in the dating scene.

  8. #8
    woodc5
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    Let yourself find someone who wants you and appreciates you for what you're willing to put into a relationship. Your ex obviously didn't appreciate those obstacles you overcame to be with him. You'll be wanted again.. be patient.

  9. #9
    Shmiley_Phace
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    Quote Originally Posted by woodc5 [Register to see the link]
    Let yourself find someone who wants you and appreciates you for what you're willing to put into a relationship. Your ex obviously didn't appreciate those obstacles you overcame to be with him. You'll be wanted again.. be patient.
    i dont know how to get over the fact he underappreciated, but does appreciate a girl of THAT sort. i just dont know, i keep comparing her n me over and over again =[

  10. #10
    Shmiley_Phace
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    *bump* =[

    .....

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