Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Why did he choose her over me?

  1. #1
    Shmiley_Phace
    Member Shmiley_Phace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Seattle
    Age
    27
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Female

    Unhappy Why did he choose her over me?

    in short, my ex got with someone the same week we broke up. he used to tell me how she was better in such n such ways n told his friends about how she is in bed, how shes better than me etc, and acted like he was proud to have her. a couple months later he tries to get me back saying hes done with her. we're long distance so i said no, because he hurt me a lot..we've been together for 3/4 years. 6 months after he got with her, he came over to see me. but as soon as he came over, said he only wanted to be friends..it really really hurt...he gave me so many mixed signals. stuff like saying im his dream girl, but also saying if i moved on he'd be happy for me...more like that.

    after he left, i told him not to talk to me. 3 weeks after, i got weak and tried calling and emailed 2x. his phone is changed and he wont answer emails. i just asked how he was doing...and just some facts that i am 100% sure of:

    i am: curvy in the right way, tall, very good morals, very moody, in college and working, with him 3/4 yrs, very committed, never cheated, can be insecure, lives far away, no smoking/drinking of any kind.

    she is: shorter, NO feminine assets whatsoever, looks very skinny, has a child, very insecure (i am too but not as much), but acts like she doesnt need anyone (even tho she lives with parents), smokes, drinks, very non adventurous, hates girly things/acts tomboyish, and wears funny clothes (like 3 layers of pants..), no job, no car. but she lives in his city.


    all i wanna know is...why?! why am i being ignored and she is preferred?? and he lied to me about breaking up with her, so hes been with her 7 months..why didnt he just call me n say we're friends instead of all that effort n tears...?

    whats so special about her that i dont have...?

  2. #2
    woodc5
    Silver Member woodc5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    579
    Gender
    Male
    Only he knows the answer to the question you're asking. Maybe the distance got to him and she made herself available to him. Who knows, who cares. With what he put you through, it sounds like you're better off. If your description of yourself is accurate, you should have little trouble finding someone to treat you as you deserve.

  3. #3
    eikal
    Bronze Member eikal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    USA
    Age
    25
    Posts
    256
    Gender
    Male
    Nothing is, people just prefer other people its just how it is unfortunately. My ex left me for some guy that was going into the military. I wondered why she would want to be with someone who is going to leave her. It doesn't make sense and we can spend the rest of our lives wondering why. It's just best to try to accept the fact that he has a new girl and move on. If he tries to talk to you ignore it. You'll find someone new i promise.

  4. #4
    Shmiley_Phace
    Member Shmiley_Phace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Seattle
    Age
    27
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by woodc5 [Register to see the link]
    Only he knows the answer to the question you're asking. Maybe the distance got to him and she made herself available to him. Who knows, who cares. With what he put you through, it sounds like you're better off. If your description of yourself is accurate, you should have little trouble finding someone to treat you as you deserve.
    thanks maybe im just too emotional right now to see the big picture..
    Quote Originally Posted by eikal [Register to see the link]
    Nothing is, people just prefer other people its just how it is unfortunately. My ex left me for some guy that was going into the military. I wondered why she would want to be with someone who is going to leave her. It doesn't make sense and we can spend the rest of our lives wondering why. It's just best to try to accept the fact that he has a new girl and move on. If he tries to talk to you ignore it. You'll find someone new i promise.
    im sure theres a logic to it thats eluding me...i hope he ends up missing me for the sake of my ego, but perhaps i wont care later on..thx

  5. #5
    Positive_Anonymous
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Age
    34
    Posts
    237
    Thanked
    1
    It sounds to me like he's playing with you, he wants to know if your still there if need be and he suddenly finds himself on his own which he will be eventually. This new girl is obviously stupid enough to hang out with him and your not....so don't beat yourself up and leave them to play their games out on each other.
    I really don't think this guy is worth the effort so don't let him have his cake and eat it. Move on with your life and enjoy better things.

  6. #6
    Shmiley_Phace
    Member Shmiley_Phace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Seattle
    Age
    27
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by mateus [Register to see the link]
    It sounds to me like he's playing with you, he wants to know if your still there if need be and he suddenly finds himself on his own which he will be eventually. This new girl is obviously stupid enough to hang out with him and your not....so don't beat yourself up and leave them to play their games out on each other.
    I really don't think this guy is worth the effort so don't let him have his cake and eat it. Move on with your life and enjoy better things.
    its less about him and more about my ego...all the good things i did for him, what i had to overcome to be with him (cultural issues especially) so i dont wanna be the only one suffering this...and the fact that he wont answer my emails and changed his number - god damn it hurts. i dont understand any of it. i WANT to be wanted!

  7. #7
    eikal
    Bronze Member eikal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    USA
    Age
    25
    Posts
    256
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by Shmiley_Phace [Register to see the link]
    its less about him and more about my ego...all the good things i did for him, what i had to overcome to be with him (cultural issues especially) so i dont wanna be the only one suffering this...and the fact that he wont answer my emails and changed his number - god damn it hurts. i dont understand any of it. i WANT to be wanted!
    To be wanted all you have to do is go out and live life and there will be numerous guys that will want you. Exercise your self-confidence and you will go far in the dating scene.

  8. #8
    woodc5
    Silver Member woodc5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    579
    Gender
    Male
    Let yourself find someone who wants you and appreciates you for what you're willing to put into a relationship. Your ex obviously didn't appreciate those obstacles you overcame to be with him. You'll be wanted again.. be patient.

  9. #9
    Shmiley_Phace
    Member Shmiley_Phace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Seattle
    Age
    27
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by woodc5 [Register to see the link]
    Let yourself find someone who wants you and appreciates you for what you're willing to put into a relationship. Your ex obviously didn't appreciate those obstacles you overcame to be with him. You'll be wanted again.. be patient.
    i dont know how to get over the fact he underappreciated, but does appreciate a girl of THAT sort. i just dont know, i keep comparing her n me over and over again =[

  10. #10
    Shmiley_Phace
    Member Shmiley_Phace's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Seattle
    Age
    27
    Posts
    101
    Gender
    Female
    *bump* =[

    .....

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
How do you turn down an ex, without looking bad?
Over the years, Iíve had exes get in contact long after we broke up, wanting to meet up for dinner or drinks, even though Iíd moved on long
We broke up 7 weeks ago and we are going on a trip together this weekend
Hi everybody, It is my first time posting. In the past few weeks I've been struggling a lot. My ex bf and I met in grad school (I am 22 and he is
Ex wants to stay friends, but has a new boyfriend
My ex and I are in our early thirties, but live across the country from each other. I'm trying to figure out what this sort of "friendship" looks
Should I still remain friends with him?
My ex and I broke up September 2015. And didn't speak at all for 4 months. Then one day last year around this time I started thinking about him and
Do I still have a chance with my ex?
so I and my boyfriend broke up more than a month ago, he said I liked him too much and he didnít like me as much as I did, he said he liked me still
A 1.5 years of NC, friends again, can of worms.
Hi everyone. Long time reader first time poster. I wanted to get some insight into my relationship w/ my ex. [B]Get ready for a read
Tough choices
About a week ago, I made the decision to leave my boyfriend of a year and a half after meeting someone else. After we discussed the reasons why and

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Completely Confused? What does this mean?
Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even
Boyfriend told me he couldn't afford holiday, next day books one to Thailand
Basically my boyfriend of 6 months is $40k in debt (I'm debt-free). We had talked about going to Vietnam and he said he needed 6 months to save up
Not a regular here, I have a few questions...
I'll try to make this brief. Been in a relationship (23F) with a man (35) for 5 years. Typical in the beginning, though I always wondered how he
Weed or Me
Hi, I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months - he is 31 and I am 24. He has recently started smoking weed every night and I don't really
Is He Hiding from Me?
Hi All, Need some advice from those that are familiar with social media apps such as Instagram.. I'v been friends with this guy for about a
Red flag in friendship
I've been through a terrible first break up and was in a lot of pain. I was physically and mentally sick due to the stress of the break up but I'm
I broke hard NC after 7 months (B I G M I S T A K E)
No surprise, I'm absolutely devastated. She pretty much blew me off like I was a piece of trash. At first I was happy because she actually responded
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •