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Thread: Guy that I have a crush on is playing MIND games!

  1. #1
    thegirl_00
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    Guy that I have a crush on is playing MIND games!

    I have been in university all summer long with the same group of 12 people. My class consists of all girls except for 2 boys and one of them drives me to school everyday, his name is Brad.

    I noticed about a month ago that Brad liked me. I did not like him at this time, and besides for us car pooling I would try to keep my distance so that I didn't lead him on.

    This past weekend, he invited me out to his lake. I agreed to go, only because he invited a few other people from class as well. While I was out there, Brad and I ended up making out. I actually developed a crush on him over the weekend, but I noticed that after we had our make out session, he started making a lot of sexual remarks towards me and it offended me. I told him to stop making inappropriate comments because they were offending me and then I told him that "what happened between us was a mistake". I guess I used the wrong choice of words, because at that point he was super upset and told me he didn't want to drive me to school.

    After some convincing he ended up driving me to school on Monday, but he didn't say ONE word to me. He was flirting with every other girl in class, putting his arm around them, flirting with them, etc. Of course this made me jealous, so I decided to tell him how i felt.

    I explained to him that I like him, and that i DIDN't think us making out was a mistake per say, but that i was offended that he was making sexual remarks to me afterward. He told me that he likes me too and he apologized for making inappropriate comments. After clearing the air i was convinced everything would go back to normal, but i was wrong.

    In class he was once AGAIN hitting on every girl in class in front of me. Hardly talked to me at all! I was in SUCH a foul mood because of this. I felt sooo stupid for telling him that I liked him, only to have him hitting on everyone else.

    I sent him a text after class today saying "You sure have an interesting way of showing someone you like them, lol"

    he responded by saying "Well so do you. I was a mistake, as you said. One day I will meet someone who wont think that I am a mistake."

    Oh my gosh, I feel like he is playing mind games or something! I don't need this stress while in university!

    What should I do? Am I supposed to CONVINCE him that I like him?

  2. #2
    Godless_Heathen
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    You're flashing hot and cold with him. First you don't like him, then you make out with him. Then you tell him making out with him with was a mistake. Of course he's going to move on, and not going to take you seriously if you say you're interested again.

    He's not playing mind games. He told you straight out - he's not interested in pursuing something with you, and for good reason.

  3. #3
    Ms Darcy
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    You already apologized and he chose to flirt with other girls. For your own peace of mind, I think you should move on.

  4. #4
    abitbroken
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    I agree with Godless_Heathen. And i would move on. Also, if you were making out with him...wouldn't it be normal for him to make some sexual remarks if you were hot and heavy?? Maybe he just mistook you for a girl who liked that kind of talk during that situation? But maybe I don't know anything...

  5. #5
    DN

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    I think he still likes you and that you didn't make it clear enough that you wanted some sort of relationship with him.

  6. #6
    thegirl_00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Godless_Heathen [Register to see the link]
    You're flashing hot and cold with him. First you don't like him, then you make out with him. Then you tell him making out with him with was a mistake. Of course he's going to move on, and not going to take you seriously if you say you're interested again.

    He's not playing mind games. He told you straight out - he's not interested in pursuing something with you, and for good reason.
    Well he never really told me he isn't interested. He told me just YESTERDAY he likes me. But then still decided to hit on every girl in class regardless.

    Also, after him and I had our texting conversation, I called him because I wanted to clear the air. I asked him if he wanted to swing by to study and he said "I am assuming you are only asking me this because someone else canceled on you and I am second choice." I told him he was being silly and the offer is open. He said he would think about.... THEN, ONE minute later, he calls me asking if he can come over at that VERY second, but I told him I was just about to take a nap and we can later.

    I don't even know if it is worth me inviting him to study though! I don't want things to be even more awkward and make a fool of myself trying to CHASE him if he doesn't even want anything to do with me! Ugh, I can't help but to feel embarrassed.

  7. #7
    Stay_home
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    To the Op

    You kind of put yourself into a trick bag with him. You did no harm in telling him that you liked him. It's just the part where you left and then went back to him. The minute a guy disrespects you and you cut him off, cut him off for good; don't go back to him because it's only going to solidify one thing is his mine. "I can do any damn thing I want to her, and she'll come back." We're like sharks out here, if we smell blood we attack. Never give yourself to somebody who's going to disrespect you. Right now, he figures he's got you locked in to what he's doing and that's what he wants. That's where all the flirting with other women is coming from because he knows that you're watching him, thinking about him. Not only is it now damaging you, but it's stroking his ego to know that for you to see him with somebody else is messing you up. Act like he doesn't exist, like you don't see him or even hear him. Don't look his way and try your best to avoid him at all costs. Find your own ride to school, too.

  8. #8
    DN

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    Also, after him and I had our texting conversation, I called him because I wanted to clear the air. I asked him if he wanted to swing by to study and he said "I am assuming you are only asking me this because someone else canceled on you and I am second choice." I told him he was being silly and the offer is open. He said he would think about.... THEN, ONE minute later, he calls me asking if he can come over at that VERY second, but I told him I was just about to take a nap and we can later.
    Can't you see how you are giving him mixed messages here?

  9. #9
    thegirl_00
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    Quote Originally Posted by DN [Register to see the link]
    I think he still likes you and that you didn't make it clear enough that you wanted some sort of relationship with him.
    Well I called him after he sent me the last text because I thought we could talk about it like adults. But he just kept changing the subject and was super awkward. I asked him if he wanted to come over to study (thinking this would SHOW him I am interested) but he got upset and accused me of only asking him to hang out because I had nothing better to do.

    Now I just feel embarrassed and am extremely worried things are going to be SO awkward in class tomorrow. Can you think of anything I can do just to make things normal? Am I supposed continue showing him I like him? I am so confused!

  10. #10
    nutbrownhare
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    I think he still likes you, too. I think he's still feeling very hurt (how would YOU feel if someone you liked described you as a 'mistake'?), and hitting on all the other girls in the group is him pretending to you that he doesn't care - and punishing you a bit, as well.

    Unfortunately, your comment
    "You sure have an interesting way of showing someone you like them, lol"
    is unlikely to help you get closer to him again.

    It could be that he'll get bored with flirting with a load of girls he isn't really interested in, and will get back to you again. Maybe not. A good course of action would be to keep your dignity, be pleasant and friendly and don't make any more sarcastic comments. His behaviour is self-contradictory - but then yours has been as well, and if you want to have a relationship with this guy you really need to be careful that you say what you mean, resist the temptation to get back at him in any way and just play it straight.

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