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Thread: Caught wife cheating with another woman

  1. #1
    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    Caught wife cheating with another woman

    Greetings all,

    I'm a newbie here and just wanted to ask for advice as I'm so confused I don't know what to do.

    About 5AM this morning I discovered that my wife is carrying on a affair with another woman.

    The way I found out is I just happened to be awake around 12:30AM this morning when she received a text on her phone. I didn't think anything of it until we woke up a few hours later. She went in to grab a shower and I started thinking about that text & wondering who in the hell would be texting her at that time of the morning. Well my curiosity got the better of me so I looked. The text was from her lover but it was innocent enough but made me suspicious so I checked her inbox and the word shocked doesn't even begin to describe how I felt.

    Without going into detail I'll just say the messages I saw left no doubt she's carrying on a affair with this woman. The only question is for how long. The big problem is I could not confront her with this as she was getting ready to leave for a 3 day business trip and I have to suffer alone thinking about what I know until she get's back.

    For at least the past 2 months I've known something was wrong because she's been acting very different. Cold towards me and not interested
    at all in things she used to love. Like our new home, our animals even our daughter has been getting ignored by her.

    I attributed her sudden behavior change to a job promotion that put a lot of stress on her. Also we moved around the same time and I just figured it was everything at once causing the uncharacteristic behavior she was exhibiting but after this morning I know better.

    Question is what should I do? Of course I want to talk to her about this but to be honest I don't know how I really feel. Anger for sure but every emotion at once is bouncing around in my head. One minute I want to pack up her belongings and toss them out in the yard and the next I want to give her a chance and try family/marriage counseling.

    Any advice would be much appreciated as this has knocked me cold. In my wildest nightmares I wouldn't dream my once loving wife would do something like this to me and our family

    Thanks in advance

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    Sorry to hear this.

    Do you know this other woman?

  3. #3
    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    Thanks.

    No Iceman26 I sure don't know her. She works with her but I've never met her before.

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    Platinum Member iBroken's Avatar
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    Are you sure she is going on a business trip and not away with this woman?

    Im sorry you are going through this. Infidelity tears a strip out of your heart.......just look out for yourself right now.....eat and get sleep.

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    Originally Posted by frankenstrat
    Thanks.

    No Iceman26 I sure don't know her. She works with her but I've never met her before.
    It might be time to call your wife's human resources department and advise them of what is going on in their workplace. Many companies take swift action on this type of extramarital behavior, especially if done on company time and using company property (company cell phone text messages, emails) which is highly likely given that its a co-worker.

    Did you forward the evidence to your cell phone? I am asking because cheaters are so often in denial and you will want to have that evidence handy.

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    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    I thought about that too, I'm pretty sure it's a business trip with her company. It's been planned for over a month but after this morning's shock I'm not sure of anything anymore.

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    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    No, I sure didn't forward the text's or emails. Was so shocked at the time I didn't even think of doing that but if the chance presents itself again I'll be sure to do it. Good idea about notifying her HR dept but her lover works in the HR dept so that's probably not the best route to take.

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    Originally Posted by Iceman26
    It might be time to call your wife's human resources department and advise them of what is going on in their workplace. Many companies take swift action on this type of extramarital behavior, especially if done on company time and using company property (company cell phone text messages, emails) which is highly likely given that its a co-worker.

    Did you forward the evidence to your cell phone? I am asking because cheaters are so often in denial and you will want to have that evidence handy.
    I wouldn't go that route unless he's certain he wants a divorce. Reconciliation after getting your wife possibly fired might prove difficult.

    I really don't know what causes people to seemingly change sexual orientation but it seems to me that women have a stronger proclivity to be bisexual. Maybe she always has been one or has always been lesbian and just trying to live the "normal" life. If she's a lesbian I can definitely see her becoming dissatisfied with her sex life.

    So, if you still love her, I would confront her about this (try to be cool) and say you want to see if you can work it out with counselling. Maybe she'll just flat out say she's a lesbian and isn't interested in keeping up the lie.

  10. #9
    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'm not certain of anything right now so probably just going to sit tight until she comes home so we can talk this out and figure out what route to take.

    I don't think she's a lesbian or at least never was before but now I just don't know. That's something we'll have to talk over. Even after this I do still love her so I'm leaning towards counselling right now.

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    Platinum Member iBroken's Avatar
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    So they work together, shes having an affair and its with someone from the same company?

    So again, is she travelling with this woman?

    I personally cannot hold things in, so I would be on the phone with her asking who the eff that chick is. That way, if she is travelling with her, it would definitely ruin their party LOL......

    But thats just me.

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