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Thread: Caught wife cheating with another woman

  1. #21
    Platinum Member dancingcolors's Avatar
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    I think it isn't a business trip, but that is just me. I would call, and confront her. Why should you silently suffer for 3 days. But that is just me again.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by dancingcolors
    I think it isn't a business trip, but that is just me. I would call, and confront her. Why should you silently suffer for 3 days. But that is just me again.
    This could quite possible be true...

  3. #23

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    I agree with lostandhurt that this is still infidelity whether it is with a man or woman. If the affair had been with a man - what would you do?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
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    As difficult as this may be, rather than confronting her while she is away, why not take the time to figure out a plan for yourself. Talk to a lawyer and see how you can protect yourself, your child and your financial interests in case there is a separation and divorce. Do not notify HR..this is a private matter between the two of you.

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  6. #25
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    Hi Frankenstrat,

    Sorry you're going through this.
    I wanted you to know you're not alone.

    I'm going through the same thing with my husband.
    I found text msgs. a while back and he had good excuses. I believed them all.
    It's his friends gf's phone and he uses it to call me blah blah...

    That was a month ago..
    He apparently has now figured out how to delete text msgs(due to the last time I caught him) because there were days missing in between texts...

    Yesterday after he fell asleep it got the better of me so I checked his text msgs and called the numbers he calls the most. He calls these numbers..one in particular..5Am before he starts, right after work..before bed..

    It's a woman. Her phone went to voice mail right away.. I knew it would be. I confronted him and of course it's another of his friends gf's phone which his uses to call him. This time he became very angry that I checked his msgs.

    Someone just wrote infidelity tears a strip off your heart and thats the best way I have ever heard it described. I feel like I'm going to throw up all the time.

    I noticed the change in him a few years back and he's become colder.
    In my 20 years of marraige I've never done anything like this. I have no idea what to do. Do I leave? Remember, he denies everything and thinks I'm now crazy.

    One thing..Why don't people just leave if they're unhappy? Why hurt the other person? They're so selfish.

    All the best to you.

  7. #26
    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    You guys have given me much to think about & do. Thank you all. DN...If it was a man and not a woman I would already have packed her stuff up and put it in the yard. Don't ask me why but for some reason I don't think I could ever get over it but am willing to try with this.

  8. #27
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    I would not suffer for three days. I would just call her this evening, when she is out of the meeting and settled, and talk with her about it. I would also begin to REALLY evaluate whether or not your willing to work with her *if* she apologizes and still wants to be with. The fact that she cheated on you with a woman, means that she may either be bi-sexual or a lesbian and if that is the case you will want to address this with her, because if she is really a "closet lesbian" then I don't think you will be able to work in the long term.

  9. #28
    Member frankenstrat's Avatar
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    That's a damn good question summersweet! Why don't people just leave instead of putting their families through this crap. I'll pray for you as I do my family. It won't be easy but hang tough! We'll get through it 1 way or the other.

  10. #29
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    How do you know they are having an affair? One of the things we have all learned here is that text messages can sometimes be misconstrued, etc, and are the cause of many misunderstandings. What exactly did the text say?

    I would not call HR. I am sure you love your wife and wouldn't want to publicly humiliate her. Also, you have just texts to go on. You should really take a deep breath and decide if you think what is happening is happening and you should talk to your wife about it. You also have to deal with the issue of looking through her phone - she may not trust you after that.

    Is there a way to make a comment to her or ask her a question to find out a little more, so maybe she will out herself? I would do something to get the spark back. Take her out to a romantic dinner. Surprise her with a room in a lovely suite, etc. Or maybe talk about how she would like you to 'get her in the mood'. Have you also asked her that you noticed that she was a little stressed and if she wanted to talk about it. Or say "i had some sad news at work. One of my customers' wife left him for another woman. He was really shocked..." and see what her reaction is.

    I don't know if you'll get the truth if you confront her while she is on a business trip. I would try to talk to her in person.

  11. #30

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    Originally Posted by frankenstrat
    You guys have given me much to think about & do. Thank you all. DN...If it was a man and not a woman I would already have packed her stuff up and put it in the yard. Don't ask me why but for some reason I don't think I could ever get over it but am willing to try with this.
    It's still infidelity - she still cheated on you.

    I think if you don't treat this cheating in the same way you will regret it.

    I agree you should see a lawyer to at least know your rights.

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